College students against frontal nudity? You’re kidding me, right?

Evidently not. Some kids at Kennesaw State University feel that the two nude scenes in the stage version of Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath are inappropriate, and have “petitioned the theater department, unsuccessfully, for a ban on nudity in all productions.”

‘Nudity is nudity, no matter how it is done,’ said Rachel Brooker, 26, who organized the campaign. ‘I think it’s inappropriate.’

Well, then skip the freakin’ play, Rachel! Go play Bingo or some shit.

Brooker said the artistic meaning will be lost on the audience, which probably will be full of students who are likely to be distracted by the nudity. There are other ways to convey the actions, she said, than requiring students to disrobe.

N – 33…. O – 25…. (“Ooooh! Bingo!”)

John Legg, 20, a student government leader who opposes the play, said the nudity is at odds with community standards.

‘The area we live in is definitely less open to this than, say, New York,’ Legg said. ‘It is a more conservative community. I don’t think it’s going to be received by the community as artistic.’

What, conservatives don’t get nekkid, John? How in the hell do they go about makin’ little conservatives, then…? Not with their clothes on, I hope? Please tell me it’s not with their clothes on…

The performance will force a different morality on people who object to public nudity, Legg said. ‘Are we telling these 508 students who have legitimate objections to it that they have to leave the campus community to participate in the arts?’ he said.

Huh? “Participate”? No one’s telling you to rush the stage with your pants around your ankles and your joint in your fist just ’cause you saw a nipple, John. I mean, the simple fact of nudity doesn’t lead inexorably to monkey sex, does it?

Christ, don’t you people get cable in Georgia…? Grow up.