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“Stop, or I’ll…make chlorophyll…?”

How EVIL are guns? Well, just ask this li’l girl from Florida, Hailie Whatley, a 10-year from Webster Elementary School:

The honor student was trying to figure out a way to cheer up a crying classmate sitting next to her, the girl

9 Replies to ““Stop, or I’ll…make chlorophyll…?””

  1. jamese says:

    I got a week long suspension in grade 10, for joking about stabbing my best friend. We were in the middle of a heady debate on whether or not the breakfast cereal Trix were, in fact, only for kids (or maybe it was the real Xmas tree vs fake Xmas tree debate) at an after school debate club meeting.

    The fact that I was unarmed, and the object of my “threat” was my best friend of over 10 years had no impact on the sentence. In retrospect it was certainly a stupid thing to say, but also an over reaction on the part of the school board. Luckily I was able to petition to have the suspension removed from my record.

    I want to dislike you, but you’re funny in addition to being clever. And your website is so pretty I almost wept the first time I saw it.

  2. This is a major problem in my area. We have several gangs of these 5-9 year olds roaming our otherwise quite streets. They think that just because they have a leaf or, God forbid, a nice green twig, that they can just wave them around and point them at anyone they wish. Elderly couples have begun to flee the area, fearing for their lives. It isn’t even safe to walk down the street alone anymore. It’s sick and sad, and I cheer the brave school employees who put their lives on the line to protect the innocents around them.

  3. Eddie Brown says:

    yeah

    this is my girl friend as of this time

    i think this is funnyXcore

    and so does she

    *sigh*

    hailies such a bad girl when it comes to things like this

  4. Patrick says:

    At my school I:

    Carried a boxcutter type knife the entire time.

    Once accidentally cut someone’s hand with it while pretending to cut his throat.

    My friends:

    Brought a rifle to school and school camps, we went through several boxes of ammo at the school camps using home-made silencers or just sneaking off into the bush.

    Shot a pigeon in the actual school yard. (Silencers are good.)

    Other people at the school:

    Brought a pistol, but it was only loaded with blanks.

    “Accidently” threw a handful of ammunition into a fire just as a teacher walked in.

    Regularly made knives out of sharpened steel rulers, and tried to cut eachothers pants (see you wait until someone walks up the stairs ahead of you, and you try to slash his pants right in the seam that runs between the cheeks of his…)

    Did this result in any harm? No. (Well some mild cuts.) Did the teachers ever freak out? No.

    I blame the high drinking age in America. Here in Oz we had beer served at highschool functions and it made everyone much less uptight.

  5. Imran says:

    TEST BY THE SERVER GUYS.

    This is a major problem in my area. We have several gangs of these 5-9 year olds roaming our otherwise quite streets. They think that just because they have a leaf or, God forbid, a nice green twig, that they can just wave them around and point them at anyone they wish. Elderly couples have begun to flee the area, fearing for their lives. It isn’t even safe to walk down the street alone anymore. It’s sick and sad, and I cheer the brave school employees who put their lives on the line to protect the innocents around them.

    Posted by Pizza Guy Tom | permalink

    on 04/09 at 10:38 PM

    yeah

    this is my girl friend as of this time

    i think this is funnyXcore

    and so does she

    *sigh*

    hailies such a bad girl when it comes to things like this

    Posted by Eddie Brown | permalink

    on 10/11 at 08:54 PM

    At my school I:

    Carried a boxcutter type knife the entire time.

    Once accidentally cut someone’s hand with it while pretending to cut his throat.

    My friends:

    Brought a rifle to school and school camps, we went through several boxes of ammo at the school camps using home-made silencers or just sneaking off into the bush.

    Shot a pigeon in the actual school yard. (Silencers are good.)

    Other people at the school:

    Brought a pistol, but it was only loaded with blanks.

    “Accidently” threw a handful of ammunition into a fire just as a teacher walked in.

    Regularly made knives out of sharpened steel rulers, and tried to cut eachothers pants (see you wait until someone walks up the stairs ahead of you, and you try to slash his pants right in the seam that runs between the cheeks of his…)

    Did this result in any harm? No. (Well some mild cuts.) Did the teachers ever freak out? No.

    I blame the high drinking age in America. Here i

  6. Hailie Whatley says:

    Yep, still ridiculous after all this time. March 11th 2007 is the 5 year anniversary of my 15 minutes of fame. I can’t believe my name still comes up under the top search of Google…I feel so special=)

  7. Patrick says:

    Hi Hailie,

    So what terms did you google?

    Tell us how you have survived since then.

  8. Hailie Whatley says:

    I searched just my name…usually, I guess, news stories expire or become covered up with new ones and are taken off of websites after this long..it was back in 2000…I’m almost 16!… It used to be so serious, talking about it…it used to be so sensitive because of what a big deal it was made to be..I think just a few months back a friend bought a copy of a London newspaper/magazine and there was an article about me in it…but now, it’s the brunt of most jokes. I no longer attend Sumter schools. I now go to Leesburg High, in Lake county. From all of this I have learned one thing- botany is not to be taken lightly..and of course, those who were thought to be friends will be the first to turn on you.

  9. Patrick says:

    Well it’s good to see you’ve got on with your life.

    Cheers

Comments are closed.