Picture for a Friday Evening: “You are holding in your hands,” the cardboard mini-pamphlet informs me, “one of the most legendary drinks in the world” (which is not yet the case — I’m holding in my hands the cardboard mini-pamphlet in lieu of the legendary drink — but you get the idea…). “It’s mystique,” (the worm!) “created over hundreds of years, follows it to this day. What is it about Mezcal” (the worm!) “that has given it such an avid following? What makes it so unique?” (hint: it rhymes with “the worm!”)

The Beginning

“Mezcal dates from the middle of the sixteenth century, when the Spanish conquistadores had conquered the New World. When they ran out of their traditional rum, the battle-scarred fighters looked for something else to celebrate with” (what? Aztec chicks too hairy for a little post-battle noise-makin’?)

“The Aztecs near the mountain-top settlement of Monte Alban in Oaxaca had cultivated a certain species of agave cactus for juice which they would ferment into what they called pulque. The Spaniards, wanting something much more potent than pulque, began to experiment with the agave” (worms! Worms!). “First, they chopped it up to be cooked. The juice was then pressed out, fermented for several days, and finally distilled. The result was Mezcal.”

The Legend

“Traditionally, every bottle of true Mezcal made in Oaxaca Province contains an agave worm” (worm! worm! worm! worm!). “Since the agave worm inhabits only the species of cactus that Mezcal is made from the agave worm signifies genuine Mezcal, made the traditional way.

“The worm isn’t there for looks. It is meant to be eaten. Because it is believed by many that within the worm lies the key.

“Some say it unlocks the door to a world of wondrous experiences. Others say it sets free a spirit of celebration. Still others say that eating the worm locks in the enchantment and excitement of Mezcal.

“The worm then holds different keys for different people. And there’s only one way to see what yours will open. Try it.”

The Consumption

…Don’t mind if I do! With some salt, a few wedges of lime…? Oh, and a Kris Kristofferson 3-CD box set. Early-70s bohemian, y’dig…? Far out.

“…He’s a walkin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction. Takin’ every wrong direction…on his lonely way back home. (There’s a lot of wrong directions on that lonely way back home…)“

Umm. G’night, all….

[update: The Morning

Ouch.

Was I licking the carpet last night or what…?]