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Some of my best friends are black

Well, they aren’t, but that’s just because I don’t get out much. And when I do, I live in Colorado.

But they could be, under the right circumstances. And that’s what matters.

At any rate, seems like today’s a good day to smear that particular jot of lamb’s blood on my door jam. I hear the Angel of Death is out purging, so, you know, why risk it?

34 Replies to “Some of my best friends are black”

  1. McGehee says:

    I can’t find lamb’s blood anywhere around here. Kroger doesn’t carry it and Tractor Supply has had it on back order for weeks.

  2. HvyMtlHntr says:

    Always a good day to apply the Blood of the Lamb.

  3. McGehee says:

    “The sguff you need out here” my ass.

  4. cranky-d says:

    How about Fleet Farm? Maybe they have some.

  5. leigh says:

    I have an eclectic collection of friends. Probably because I’m secretly a raaaaaacist.

  6. EBL says:

    At any rate, seems like today’s a good day to smear that lambs blood on my door jam. I hear the Angel of Death is out purging, so, you know, why risk it?

    Can I just enjoy a decent red and call it a day?

  7. cranky-d says:

    I’m not sure it’s a secret.

  8. leigh says:

    Heh. Take’s one to know one, cranky.

  9. dicentra says:

    I don’t have any friends, which makes me a misanthropist.

  10. dicentra says:

    And a raaaaacist, because most of the people in the world who aren’t my friends?

    Not very white at all.

  11. cranky-d says:

    I have, I guess, three people I would call my friend (it may be fewer given some review). All of them are white.

    I guess that makes me raaaaacist, because I haven’t sought out someone with a different melanin content than mine and deliberately made friends with them so I wouldn’t look raaaaacist.

  12. Abe Froman says:

    I used to have a lot of black friends, though only a few I’m still in touch with. And I can honestly say that their blackness adds nothing of value to your life, on account of them being individual human beings and all. But it is fun when your white liberal friends – who are never athletic and, thus, know no black people unless you count the mail room – find it fascinating and really cool that there are black dudes at your party.

  13. leigh says:

    …and deliberately made friends with them so I wouldn’t look raaaaacist.

    That’s because you aren’t a progressive. And thank God for that.

  14. SDN says:

    di, I’ve been saying here and everywhere else that I’m a cynical old misanthrope. For years. You would think that wouldn’t surprise anyone, but…

  15. cranky-d says:

    People suck more often than not.

  16. palaeomerus says:

    In my house you leave the Angel of Death a Pepsi incase he’s thirsty and you put up a note that says “Please not in the face.”

    You string booby traps for the Angel of Taxes.

  17. palaeomerus says:

    The Angel of Death has so far avoided my house. Maybe I should rake the leaves more often?

  18. cranky-d says:

    Do you actually wish to attract his attention?

  19. palaeomerus says:

    Well I am a first born. I’m just trying to be cooperative.

  20. McGehee says:

    I’m only the earliedt-born in my house, but the Angel of Death might take a commerce-clause approach to his power, so I’d rather not chance it.

  21. palaeomerus says:

    What if he just kills my leg or something? What if I’m a five visit job? Yeesh. I’m making it easy for him.

  22. cranky-d says:

    Ah, I see what you mean. I’m the last born, so no worries.

    My sister might be in trouble, though. And under the commerce-clause approach as mentioned by McGehee, I am as well.

  23. OCBill says:

    Sadly, I guess, most of my friends could be described as “typical white people”.

  24. Garym says:

    I’ve heard Aurora, CO. and or Colfax BLVD are good places to meet black “friends” in the Denver area. Just sayin’.
    Also, i’ve seen many a heard of Ram when driving on I-70 from Idaho Springs to the Golden exit, so you know, maybe its not domesticated lambs blood……..

  25. JHoward says:

    I’ll be the judge of that.

  26. JD says:

    McGehee – if you smear mayonnaise all over your body, the Angel of Death willl stay away.

  27. I’ve been unable to read anything but exerpts of Deryshire’s article, but of the parts that I’ve read, the only part that jumped out was the part about intelligence. I don’t believe it. Period.

    I can also say that I feel safer in College Park in Atlanta and Camden, NJ than I do in some touristy parts of Washington DC or New York. I think this has a lot more to do with what is taught in the schools and how the local politicians manage their grift than it does with any individual or group of persons out on their own. I had a rental car go belly up in one of the worst areas of Memphis and a guy gave me his phone to call the company AND talked football and cell phones for forty minutes while I waited (and he “worked”). I got my ass beat in the Chinatown subway station on Philly’s 8th and Market line for “being a white guy in a tie”.

    The greifers, race hustlers and identity pimps are the root cause of this nonsense, they need to be publicly ridiculed instead of coddled.

  28. Silver Whistle says:

    McGehee – if you smear mayonnaise all over your body, the Angel of Death willl stay away.

    But the dog will rejoice.

  29. McGehee says:

    McGehee – if you smear mayonnaise all over your body, the Angel of Death willl stay away.

    The Angel of Death might not kill me but my dermatologist would.

  30. palaeomerus says:

    I think the mayonnaise thing sounds like a valiant attempt but can’t he just throw a car or a dresser/chest of drawers at you or something?

    And as for being last born, what if it’s opposite day?

  31. cranky-d says:

    Death is coming for us all sooner or later.

  32. palaeomerus says:

    If there is a Genie of Death I hope she looks like a young Barbara Eden and she ust blinks and you get sleepy and then she just gently cuddles you out.

    And I hope she doesn’t show up while I’m driving a car on the freeway.

  33. palaeomerus says:

    OR was that too Soylent Green of me?

  34. SteveG says:

    Smear mayonnaise all over yourself and then after two hours out in the sun, eat some chips with those hands…. then you’ll put in a call for the angel of death to come take you…

    On the subject of black friends, I had some in high school and college, but there are about zero around my area. I have always lived in Santa Barbara, CA and I grew up knowing every black family in town by name. All ten or so of them. (thank god for the Cunningham and the Wilkes families for having blacks be 1% of the student body and providing 99% of the athleticism)
    Santa Barbara is so white that when I was a kid the Globetrotters were in town to play a game at UCSB. At the same time four black gangsters from LA came up and robbed a jewelry store at gunpoint. In addition to being described as black, the thieves were described as “over 6 feet tall”. Of course our (Mayberry) PD promptly felony stopped two seven foot globe trotter centers, a 6′-6″ wing and as a bonus, a 6′-2″ guard. Oooops.

    Later a former customer of mine, also a high end jewelry shop owner, heard noise downstairs in his shop, saw four blacks robbing the place at gunpoint and came down the stairs with his shotgun. Killed three and chased the other outside and shot him too… the 4th survived.
    No one even thought of charging the owner with anything. The pastor of the Second Baptist Church was asked about the shootings and if I recall correctly said something along the lines of: if you come in here waving guns and threatening people, it should come as no surprise that you might get shot

    I actually have one black friend, but he is married to a white woman and I am not sure if he is authentic. Nice guy though.

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