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9 things that might happen to John Edwards’ second America after Bush wins November re-election

  1. Purchased by Nancy Pelosi and converted into a storage closet for designer pant suits
  2. Mixed with gin, olives, and a splash of dry Vermouth, then polished off in a single gulp by a very thirsty Ted Kennedy
  3. Awarded to Al Sharpton in lieu of slave reparations
  4. Traded to Jacques Chirac in exchange for a Coq au Vin Blanc recipe and a wheel of super fresh brie
  5. Surrendered its sovereignty to the UN (at the suggestion of foreign policy “realist” John Kerry)
  6. Dipped in nacho cheese and eaten by Michael Moore
  7. Stuffed into one of Sandy Berger’s dress socks
  8. Destroyed on a whim by a “quirky” Teresa Heinz Kerry
  9. Bill Clinton proudly presents, “Hummer Land!”

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More here.  And here.

4 Replies to “9 things that might happen to John Edwards’ second America after Bush wins November re-election”

  1. I’m almost afraid to ask this, but:

    Aren’t there supposed to be ten?  What happened to #10?

  2. Beck says:

    #10, sadly, lives in the other America.

  3. tee bee says:

    make that 8 things, since I’m pretty sure Al never got his forty acres. or his mule. so he definitely did not get that other America.

  4. Shelby says:

    Y’know, #9 doesn’t really sound all that bad … except I think Bill already lives there.

Comments are closed.