Favorite excerpt: “[John] Edwards’ relaxed manner, youthful looks and boyish charisma is expected to complement [John] Kerry, who can sometimes seem stiff and pompous. And as the word spread yesterday [of Edwards being named Kerry’s running mate], Democrats looked forward to a vice-presidential debate this fall, which would pit Edwards against Vice President Dick Cheney. One thing is certain: Edwards feels quite at home in front of a crowd.”

“I love economies. Always have. Because economies are good for America. And John Kerry and I have a plan for this economy — which is to make sure that this economy thrives, y’know, economically and such,” the freshman Senator from North Carolina told well-wishers on Tuesday. “Because let’s face it: what this country can’t afford now is four more years of no economy under the Bush administration. Remember: economies are good. But George Bush thinks the common man would be better off without an economy! John Kerry and I reject that idea.”

A fit, trim, and teary-eyed Edwards then took the opportunity to remind the crowd that as the son of a mill worker, the tens of millions of dollars he’s made as a trial lawyer aren’t really millions “per se,” so much as they are “lots and lots and lots of thousands — the same kinds of thousands y’all probably make, only, y’know, a few more of ’em.”

Or something to that effect, I don’t know. Who cares? He has no idea what he’s doing, is the point.