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protein wisdom proudly selects…

…the Titi monkey as its annual “New World Monkey of the Year.”

monkey! Congratulations to the winner and to all the nominees, a group that this year included the Spider monkey, the Red Howler monkey, the Squirrel monkey, the Saddle Back Tamarin monkey, the Lion Tamarin monkey, the Owl monkey, the Marmoset, the Saki monkey, and the Ukaris monkey.

The judging was based entirely on which New World monkey sounded most like a slang term for female breasts. As a result, the Squirrel monkey never really stood a chance. Our apologies to the Squirrel monkey.

12 Replies to “protein wisdom proudly selects…”

  1. jeremy says:

    Frankly, I think the sakis were robbed.

  2. Joe Geoghegan says:

    I know how to justify referring to breasts as “squirrels.” But it’s so dirty, I can’t post it with my real name.

  3. 'Nam de Ploom says:

    “So big they can hide your nuts”?  Is that what you had in mind?

  4. Beck says:

    Beware the Duksy Titi Monkey’s natural predator: the Gunther’s Dik-Dik.

  5. Dario says:

    I come here for the education.

  6. jeremy says:

    ….but I stay for the smut.

  7. JFH says:

    Marmosets and tamarins aren’t technically monkeys according to my five-year old.  But he likes saying “TEE TEE”, so he approves of the choice.

  8. Do you let people touch your monkey?

  9. jeremy says:

    Heh.  Just be careful ‘round them monkeys.  They can be dangerous.

  10. Bloggerhead says:

    Oooh, if there’d’ve only not been that damnable “r” in Marmoset, we’d’ve had ourselves quite a competition.  Rather appropriate to have a tight pair in the running.

  11. If the standard was a name that resembled a nickname for women’s parts, then maybe I need to tell you what we called a ”red howler” when I was a teenager …

  12. Russ says:

    You mean, there isn’t a “sweater puppy monkey?”

    Dagnabbit.  Mother Nature is a bitch.

Comments are closed.