Were I not married, and were Teri Polo to show up at my front door demanding I dress up like little Jack Horner and stick a thumb in my ass, I’d been trying like hell right now to pull a great big plum from my rectum.
Anything for my Teri.*
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Recent Comments
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Graduated from the wooden sauce spoons, I see…
Wait—isn’t she the one put FDR in the wheelchair?
C’mon McGhee. You know that was Prescott Bush.
Number 34 in the ‘Punchlines without Setup’ series
—
Rectum?
It fucking killed him
—
OK, if you’re gonna be doing Little Johnny jokes, here’s my other favorite Little Johnny punchline: “Rats…big fucking rats!”
“I’d been trying like hell right now to pull a great big plum from my rectum.”
I know your Teri has a bit of an eating disorder, but isn’t that measure a little extreme?
What is all this crap about eating disorders and protruding ribcages? I have no idea what Michelle and JD are talking about. Like I told Michelle, from her description I expected to see a refugee from Auschwitz. What I saw was deeelicious. Yes, she’s slim, but for Christ’s sake, she’s not fucking Olive Oyl.
And no offense, JD, but you’d fall down on your knees in front of Teri Polo.
For me, the most important thing in a chick is gas money.
Sure, a nice rack is great, but it ain’t gonna get my Boogie Van over to Family Dollar.
Am I looking at the same picture as you guys?
a nice rack? What rack? A rack of ribs maybe.
This chick makes me look like Dolly Parton and I am of the small perky variety.
RWS,
Are you looking at the red carpet picture, or the nude shots from Playboy? ‘Cuz she looks a little less scrawny in those pics. Still skinny, but without the prominently protruding ribs.
Man, this is fascinating. It’s like a live anthropological experiment on male-female perceptions, and I think it’s pretty obvious we’re in different universes. Again I say, she is certainly slim, but she’s not a bag of bones, for cryin’ in a bucket.
Sparkle, I don’t think anyone said anything about a nice rack (meaning big breasts) in reference to Teri Polo. If you want to get graphic, I happen to think her breasts are very nice, and she has great nipples. She has a nice ass and long legs, and she’s gorgeous. And again, she ain’t fucking Olive Oyl!
Do I find Teri Polo especially attractive? Not really.
Would that stop me from engaging in sexual congress with her, should the opportunity present itself? Not really.
To Chilperic…
Hubby, is that you?
lol. Seriously, that sentiment likely describes 99.99 percent of the hetero male population.
I would guess that any man who finds this Polo woman attractive isn’t exactly choosy.
Later,
bbeck
I don’t see what people are refering to in the pictures as an air brush.
Air trowel maybe.
I would guess that any man who finds this Polo woman attractive isn’t exactly choosy.
You know, bbeck, you can have your opinion, but that’s silly and insulting.
Lighten up, Francis.
Later,
bbeck
Doesn’t Ralph Lauren own Polo? And well, ya’ll just make up your own male/female attraction jokes from here….
She’s hot, but not “stick my thumb in my ass” hot.
First question: Does it have a pulse?
Last question: Does it have a pulse?
Diana, you are the most naive woman ever.
Of course it has a pulse, but you can only feel it with something as sensitive as your tongue. You’ll notice that the pulse quickens the longer you check it, so be sure to do it for a long time.
For an accurate measurement, naturally.
What’s the second question?
What was the middle part again?
Teri Polo … Marco Polo … who gives a shit!?!
Polo me this G-Man … where’s today’s Martha?
This bullshit is totally unacceptable!!!
It’s up. My courier was late delivering it. So I had him castrated.
bbeck, I was hoping you weren’t kidding, so I wouldn’t look like an ass. Oh well.
No worries, CraigC, and I apologize if it struck you wrong.
Pfft, at least neither of us are pulling an Allah and insisting women are gold-diggers even if they don’t realize it. Now THAT’S an opinion to take offense to!
Later,
bbeck
Not to beat a dead horse, but I don’t disagree with all the women who are against the idealized Hollywood standard of anorexic women, I just don’t think Teri Polo is a good example of that.
And you can call me Craig.
Back when I heard it, it went, “Rats … Big fucking hairy rats with COCKS THIS LONG!!!”
Oh yeah, on the other subject: Teri Polo’s waaaaaaaay too skinny. Absolutely disgusting. And those grapes have just GOT to taste terrible, too.
Yeah, Alex, that was the abridged version. As to Teri Polo, we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
Guess my Aesop reference at the end was maybe just a *little* too subtle there.
Teri Polo isn’t going to crack the top 5 on my List of Celebreties I’d Like To Nail anytime soon (unless Jennifer Aniston really lets herself go).
That said, I’d hit it.
Classic one Craig. My favorite: ”Beautiful. Fucking beautiful.”
RWSparkle—Why are Dolly Parton’s feet so small? Nothing grows big in the shade.
I’ve got better boobs back at the house. Not sharing; just bragging. I pull my thumb at thee.
Craig, the next question to ask is: do you think Polo looked better before she lost that weight?
Personally, I don’t think she’s much to look at either way, but I leave it to guys to determine if she’s nailable. Hubs says she doesn’t do it for him, but she doesn’t have what he looks for (a nice face, big chest, ready to jump on him when he comes home…). And Hubs, like most red-blooded men, LOVES women, esp. if they’re of the nekkid variety.
I think what a lot of people—both men and women—object to is not Teri Polo’s weight loss specifically but Hollywood’s ideal in general. There are a LOT of young actresses who appear to be starving themselves to death in the attempt to look better when they’re looking just the opposite. Someone mentioned Jennifer Aniston, who is still cute, but I noticed a real change in her figure over the years while watching Friends, and she was much easier to look at the beginning of the series when she was carrying 5-10 more pounds. And Cameron Diaz looks freakin’ scary to me now…but think of how HOT she was when she first appeared in “The Mask.” Teri Polo is the example being used because she’s the one currently in Playboy, and, whether you think she’s lost too much weight or not, people are likely reacting badly because she didn’t need to lose weight at ALL.
Anyway, tastes are tastes, and I still think Sophia Loren and Raquel Welch are the last truly beautiful women Hollywood has turned out. But, I’ll leave certain calls to the men if they don’t say “Yeah, but he’s gay” whenever I mention which Hollywood hunks are do-able.
Later,
bbeck
Quoth Chris Rock: “A man is as faithful as his OPTIONS!”
She’s not my type but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers…
Talk about “little pink houses”!
Guess my Aesop reference at the end was maybe just a *little* too subtle there.
I got it as soon as I saw it. Unfortunately that was just a minute ago.
Ok, I went to Wizbang and saw the playboy photos, which of course are airbrushed and make anyone look 3 times better than they actually do, but she does look normal at least.
Nice to see the normal size breast actually.
I especially like the quote at the bottom of the 7th pic. (the one where she is one the mirror)
bbeck, I agree with everything you said. I also find Raquel Welch types beautiful. Cameron Diaz is a better example of the Hollywood ideal. I was just saying that I don’t see Skeletor when I look at Teri Polo, that’s all. I see yummy.
She could stand to put on 10-15 pounds, though.
Eh… in the playboy pics she’s okay, but doesn’t really stir me. I’m like bbeck’s husband, only single and probably younger.
And in the non-playboy pics, she’s just… ugh, WAY too skinny.
I’m a little put off by all the objectification going on here, especially from protein wisdom readers. You, better than most, should know … IT’S ALL ABOUT THE NIPPLES. AND THOSE PUPPIES ARE FUCKIN’ PERFECT, PEOPLE.
I will brook no dissent on this matter.
NIPPLES ARE JOE’S MASTER!
Holy Shite! You’re still at it! MOOT!
[keyword “look” Hey! ]
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE NIPPLES. AND THOSE PUPPIES ARE FUCKIN’ PERFECT, PEOPLE.
Thank you for the Amen, my brother.
Key word “lay,” BTW.
Diana, was that dissent ? ‘Cause it sure smelled like dissent to me. I repeat, I will not brook it !
keyword ”PERFECT”.
No, not really, but I think I made my point.
“Of no practical importance; irrelevant.”; “has no practical value”; “arguable, at issue, contestable, controversial, debatable, disputable, dubious, problematic, questionable, suspect, uncertain, undecided, unresolved, unsettled” ie. in your dreams! Pick up the magazine.
Oh. Well, OK, then.
Personally, I like a woman with a little more “meat on her bones.” Why do we men chase after the skinny gals when there are lots of pretty plumpies available?
And another thing – what is this big hang up with men’s ageism? Enough of the teenyboppers, give me a mature woman in granny panties—one with that authentic, mature passion and sexiness that only stretchmarks and pattern baldness can bring.
Also, I like my women smart—and smart mouthed. Nothing puts fire in a relationship like a sexy, sassy gal that tells it like it is, 24-7, never letting you forget that she is all woman, what her needs are, and lets you know that she needs to talk about your relationship.
Joe! I just had to ask where this thing was going!
Iowa! You’re such a charmer!
“and smart mouthed. Nothing puts fire in a relationship like a sexy, sassy guy that tells it like it is, 24-7”
Hawk, how do you eat, with your tongue implanted so far in your cheek?
Rightwingsparkle,
I forced my spousal unit to look at the Playboy pictures (yes, it wasn’t easy) and we came to a few conclusions:
1. She had been airbrushed, but then I worked at the Navy Exchange when I was a teenager and if you’ve seen a few Playboy and Penthouse pinups, up close, you figure that one out REAL quick.
2. Her boobs weren’t real, but they were plenty big for the rest of her
3. She (at least in those pictures) didn’t appear to be too skinny
4. Man, people are harsh in their judgements.
He tends to like fit women, maybe because he’s a Marine, but we both thought that (other than the fact that her breasts weren’t real) her nipples were very pretty and her body was nicely proportioned.
It seems like with all the plastic surgery going around these days, anyone who doesn’t have quadriple D’s is just not good enough.
Isn’t that a bit silly, people?
I saw a fairly pretty woman who maybe didn’t need to be quite so thin, but certainly wasn’t hideous by any stretch of the imagination. Why is everyone so catty?
The Fokkers picture was hideous, but I’ll bet every one of us has a picture or two in our houses of us that makes us look fat or anorexic, or ugly. It just catches us at an awkward angle.
Yeah, I know, I’m a Pollyanna. That’s why I haven’t said anything about this. To me (and apparently to my husband) she had a lovely body.
I can’t say I’ve even been tempted to pose nude, but reading the comments on this poor woman’s photo’s, I’d be scared to death now to do so, and I’ve always been rather proud of the way I looked. Not anymore. I’d be scared to death.
Everyone’s a critic.
Yikes… *blushing* Open mouth, insert foot
The “catty” remark wasn’t aimed at you, RWS (or at anyone in particular, really) – I know you know me better than that.
Just thought I’d better clear that one up. I guess it just rubs me the wrong way every time a woman poses nude and all of a sudden everyone is an art critic or something.
Honestly, is it a moral judgment if she’s not perfectly shaped or something, does she somehow ‘deserve’ the criticism for having taken her clothes off?
If a guy poses in a muscle shirt or scantily clad and he’s not to my taste, I don’t rip him a new one. I just don’t look (and really, I don’t look much anyway beyond an initial glance – I have a nice looking husband my own age at home to play with, and don’t see the need to make him jealous).
So I guess I don’t understand the animus.
My sister told me I should read this thread because Teri Polo worksout at the same gym as I do. First of all I would like to say that Teri is very beautiful, very pretty face! And in regards to the claims that she is too thin I would like to say this….
I have seen Teri nude in the locker room on many occasions, and I have even had conversations with her while we were showering. And I can honestly tell you that she is NOT too thin! She has a great body, and I wish that my body was more like hers! PS, she is a very nice person too, and is NOT stuckup at all, which many stars are.
How I envy you, Amanda…