Wherein we watch in the kind of bemused stupor usually reserved for an Ionesco play as Barack Obama pretends to defend the rights of women to use spermicides and sponges, and the GOP continues its determined march to prop up as its preferred candidate for 2012 the erstwhile progressive and independent who, it turns out, when he wasn’t gladhanding his “friend and collaborator” Ted Kennedy, was busy counseling Obama to implement the very individual mandate that caused the conservative base to rally in 2010 and win historic elections for Republicans.
Instead of popcorn, I recommend Absinthe. Or Ketamine. And a big tub of Poppycock. And some candy apples.
Because really, why the hell not at this point?
I gave up tv for Lent, as well as the internet after 6 p.m. (haven’t been quite as dogged on that latter one), so it makes for an interesting evening trying to follow the election results. Considering how things are shaping up, maybe I am better off now knowing.
Err, not knowing.
I have an eye appointment, after which I will go vote. And then cross the county line because my bottle of cheap Scotch is almost empty.
They think Gingrich will win Georgia. Four years ago it was Huckabee.
I think I’m going to vote in some other state’s primary in 2016.
I recommend watching these collected short vids of a gathering in Breitbart’s memory.
LulzSec was taken down this morning, a main leader had been turned for a year, they have the full leadership, and Anonymous is lashing out and hopefully purging blindly. Anonymous is asking Barrett Brown why he is not in jail. Haaa haaa
Who else has been turned, eh boys?
Port–I recommend a well-chilled bottle of port. A touch of class, a nice kick and a helpful reminder that our dysfunctional finances are only a couple of years behind those of Portugal, and Mr. Electable will be inclined to do bupkis to stop the slide (on the off-chance he out-nices his way to the White House).
But, hey, yeah, ketamine. With some Amy Winehouse playing in the background.
For the symmetry.
I have until 7 or so to decide between Gingrich or Santorum. Or, say fuckemboth and write in Sarah Palin.
I think Newt will take Georgia and Tennessee, and Romney will take everything else. Santorum’s had a bit of an implosion this last week.
I voted this morning as soon as the polling place opened. There was an item about allowing Sunday liquor sales in DeKalb County. I voted yes. It’s a mackerel snapper thing Baptists don’t get.
Based on what? What did I miss?
The press keeps saying it, Jeff. Makes it true, you know.
Rhinoceros.
Go ahead, ask me how I knew. Pretty good song, too.
—
Ketamine? What, am I a sick dog now? No ketamine.
What’s that stuff they make from the pineal glands of fresh corpses?
Adrenochrome?
” Anonymous is lashing out and hopefully purging blindly. ”
A bunch of one note phone prank/script kiddies on 4 Chan feigning any actual organization, who are too stupid to build either support, or any real sense of fear, and tho like a 25 year of Alan Moore comic vs. the US law enforcement and counterintelligence community.
Yeah, THAT was going to end well.
What was the plan? To circulate a couple of de-motivational posters on reddit that never quite become memes due to lameness, change the password for someone’s Pizza Hut online order account, and then DOS a US Department Agriculture website for twenty-six minutes? Oy.
“Wherein we watch in the kind of bemused stupor usually reserved for an Ionesco play”
I’m thinking Pirandello. Four candidates in search of an office.
I’m gonna steal McGehee’s bottle of scotch and sit quietly, mewling in the corner rubbing the bottle, and occasionally uttering, “My Precious”.
This is so bad.
Ketamine? Nah.
Anybody got a tack hammer?
“…and then DOS a US Department Agriculture website for twenty-six minutes?”
Speaking of internet memes, there’s one going around along the lines of:
The Food Stamp program, a part of the US Department of Agriculture is pleased as punch to be handing out more food stamps than at any time in US history.
This same US Department of Agriculture presides over the National Park Service, and has put up tens of thousands of signs (at taxpayer expense) in national parks across the country, that read, “PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS, AS THEY MAY BECOME DEPENDENT, AND NOT BE ABLE TO DO FOR THEMSELVES”.
Heh.
I haven’t eaten a candy apple or a caramel apple since I grew my beard back in ’91. Well, I ate one, but I learned my lesson.
On behalf of all mustachioed men, I take offense at your candy apple recommendation. HAVE YOU NO DECENCY, SIR?!
What is the sound of a loaded gun cocking?
Ha!
Fine. I buy my own. But depending on what happens tonight, I may ask you to shoot me anyway.
Okay, this is sort of weird and unprecedented but should it really surprise us? I’m here in a large well-known advertising agency, and most of the creative department is gathered listening to two people delivering a presentation. Micheal Duffy from Time and leftard columnist Joel Stein. Speaking about how the Tea Party has lost and Romney will have to abandon them because he can do little to woo them. Talking about how to save healthcare reform. How Obama will raise tons of cash. How the Republican candidates are not ready for prime time. Talking about how cool it is that people like Maher are Obama’s hit squad. A question and answer session.
Time magazine and Joel Stein, preaching to employees.
I’ve been peripherally involved in advertising for over 25 years and I have never seen a naked display of political activism such as this, set during business hours as an official company event.
But still, we have ketamine. Because, why not?
I’m in Texas. I don’t get to vote until May.
Nobody wants Texas setting any trends, and we are the second most populous state. They just want us to go along once all the momentum is built or just sit out the primary and wait for the general. I’m in Austin so no one gives much of a fuck about us anyway. It’s like a trekkie meeting from the late 80’s in a library open-meeting room. And if you manage to get sent up to the state level you get some barbecue and a couple of shitty t-shirts. Our local-gov assholes can’t even get the voter registration cards out because we are still arguing over the new districts that a court decided to overturn before THEIR replacement districts got overturned and now it’s spinning in court like a survivor turd in a modern low-water-use flush toilet.
Mr. Orwell,
They are apparently…right there. May I suggest a well tossed grenade, sir.
“I haven’t eaten a candy apple or a caramel apple since I grew my beard back in ’91. Well, I ate one, but I learned my lesson.”
Protip: you can dip apple slices into melted caramel or if you use ‘the flat caramel sheet’ method you can just tear the sheet into strips and melt those onto apple slices.
You’ve been denying yourself a fall treat for no good reason.
It works with taffy apples too if you are into that.
I don’t need a perfect world; just a world where my enemies require more antacids than I do.
McGehee & Lamont – two great nuggets of funny.
George – a great big steaming pile of scary.
You’ve been denying yourself a fall treat for no good reason.
Next you’ll be telling me that there’s a way to eat ice cream that doesn’t involve ice cream cones.
” Next you’ll be telling me that there’s a way to eat ice cream that doesn’t involve ice cream cones.”
What would YOU do-oo-oo for a klondike bar?
Since it’s Tuesday, I’ll be at my local watering hole, eating chicken wings and drinking beer and playing a trivia game.
Not all at once, though.
What would YOU do-oo-oo for a klondike bar?
I’d fill out the forms in triplicate and submit them, along with supporting documentation and a $57.13 fee, to my local office of the federal Department of Health Care Control (Dietary Division), and hope that my waiver is granted.
“Nobody wants Texas setting any trends…”
But it already has.
As a Texas Ex-pat flung to Razorback country, I can agree that Austin is, indeed, a refugee camp for burnt out hippies and self contradicting progressive dip-shits. At the same time, I always liked Austin. It was a kind of, “Yeah, the hippies are assholes…but they’re OUR assholes. Leave ’em be.”
For all it’s problems, if Texas was it’s own country (and in a way it is), it would be the world’s 13th largest economy. State Congress gets paid shit, and meets in odd years so they can screw with folks as little as possible. No state tax, yet has a hell’uva infrastructure (a bit of corruption, sure. But even that is free market). It’s a small business safe haven, and a “right to work” boon for corporations. Little regulation, and people know good fences make good neighbors. You stay out of my business, and I’ll stay out of yours. You can get deep in the weeds on particulars, but still…
Pretty damn good trend.
I’m still waiting to hear on my proposal to have Texas annex Georgia.
“And a big tub of Poppycock.”
That’s kind of gross. And who the heck is Poppy?
Hell. I’m waiting on Texas to annex the entire US. Frickin’ game plan is RIGHT THERE!
But let’s let them make us squabble about Rush Limbaugh and free rubbers for nuns.
“I’m still waiting to hear on my proposal to have Texas annex Georgia.”
It’s a nice idea but Michael Stipe would never permit that. Maybe a commonwealth?
Thank you, apologists for temperate language all over the punditocracy, for giving Obama the opportunity to talk about how he wants his lovely daughters to enjoy freedom of speech without being called nasty names.
I’m looking around for a bearded Spock.
“I’m looking around for a bearded Spock.”
If we’re going with alternate universes, the Bender Bending Rodriguez with the “goat-tee” was much more fun.
That’s what I’m thinking; no way I’d ask Texas to give us voting representation in their Congress.
Some quick education please? What’s the difference between a state and a commonwealth? Other than an easy way to piss off our friends south of the Ohio is to say “State of Kentucky”.
In the case of Kentucky (and Massachusetts and Pennsylvania and Virginia) the difference is which word the state’s founders preferred for their state.
Puerto Rico is also called a commonwealth, as are the Northern Mariana Islands. That’s the way I took Palaeo’s comment.
Stanley Fish on Santorum.
“What’s the difference between a state and a commonwealth?”
McGehee covered it, but this is a sorta fun quick read if your curious.
Yeah, but do any of you States and Commonwealths have Plantations?
“State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations”
Of which some of the local left tried to do away with the Plantation piece because of, you, know, the racism. Lost by a 2/3 majority as I recall.
Almost 78%, Red.
That was a fair article motionview. But Fish referenced a lot of cases & precedents…from an age ago. When people meant what they said.
It’s a different time.
Today? When Republican politicians start talking about God, they get the “side eye” while I slowly back away. When Democrat politicians do it? I run for the hills while checking my pockets to see what’s missing.
I’m not saying Santorum’s faith is disingenuous. And who cares? Put that aside for a sec. It’s about the economy, and the “image of the winner”. The ONE thing Romney has done right, is pretend there is no competition. His speeches (acceptance, or otherwise) have all been broadsides against Obama…not Gingrich or Santorum (he lets his PAC mow them down).
Santorum’s campaign staff flat out sucks. Running against Obama should have been the hard ground game two months ago.
He and Dershowitz, clinging to those old-fashioned classical liberal notions of constructive argument in a citizen’s republic. These are smart men, they have to see the Prog tide washing those quaint old notions away.
I…dunno. Dershowitz is a hot potato for any conservative libertarian (classical liberal) to juggle. Kinda like cranky-d up there eating chicken wings, drinking beer, and playing tv trivia…but all at the same time.
Dershowitz’s war on Media Matters makes me rub my hands together, and laugh like an evil Bond villain. But…he ain’t exactly on Liberty’s side. Not by a long shot.
Maybe I misunderstood what you meant. (If I had money to bet, I’d bet on that).
I hope Ron Paul wins Virginia.
I really, really, don’t like Romney. Just so you all know.
Now cranky…be nice.
This one might actually pay out of his own pocket for his guests arugula & wagyu beef.
with 7% va
mittens 59
nor luap 41
Dershowitz, like a lot of people, is right when he’s right, but he’s also willing to stand on the truth as he sees it despite crossing his ostensible allies by doing so. That gets props from me, though when he’s wrong, he’s still wrong.
So the Colts appear to be cutting Manning loose. Any takers?
birther theory
link
newrouter, Hillary’s people floated most of that in 2008.
There was some interesting details Ann added though…
Posted on wrong thread.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio:
Doesn’t Peyton have a career ending neck injury? He could learn to be a sportscaster or a coach, though.
Sdferr – I will gladly take him back.
I’d be glad to see him wear a star JD.
Well, consider me gobsmacked. And then, oh, depressed.
Gingrich gets a bit of the South, Santorum gets flyover country, Romney gets the red/purple coastal states.
Romney will be the nominee: he’s the most Democrat Republican, which is what you have to be, I suppose, to appeal to the northeast, the rust belt, and the west.
We’re on a short slide to hell. Pity, that.
Ain’t happenin’ though.
Peyton should protect his health and go out gracefully. He’s had a fine career, and there’s not much left for him to accomplish. Despite hating him regularly, I’d be severely bummed to see him crippled. He’s a stand up guy, and he doesn’t need to become Brett Favre or worse.
JD, how’s the homestead? Were you in or near the shit?
Ohio is currently about tied with 17% reporting. Very slight edge to Santorum.
Santorum by 3% with 33% reporting.
go rick
“Hell. I’m waiting on Texas to annex the entire US. Frickin’ game plan is RIGHT THERE!”
Ok I’m in; but if we have to fall back, what say we build a supply bridge across the Gulf. Florida has the second most cattle and the best beaches.
That should count for somethin!
“JD, how’s the homestead? Were you in or near the shit?”
Pablo,
I Spoke with JD yesterday. His area was spared but LMC’s neighborhood was slammed pretty hard.
JD was heading his way to offer a hand.
Lamont Pablo said it for me on Dershowitz.
My guess is that’s what they’re embarassed about, particularly the Occidental College part. If your adult life starts out with a lie, what have you been lying about since?
Probably some intrepid investigative reporter type is busily working on the sequel to Anonymous’s best seller, Primary Colors.
I’ll probably wait for the movie.
If Joe Klein is writing this sequel, I’ll skip the movie, too.
Didn’t everyone pretty much stop taking Klein seriously when he admitted he was the author of Primary Colors? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?
Once again in near similarity to Michigan — more exaggerated even — the size of Romney’s edge in a single county in Ohio (Cuyahogah – margin 11,609) is greater than the size of his edge in the entire state (margin 7,264), with 93% of the total vote in.
That’s Cleveland, in case anyone didn’t know.
Probably the Kucinich/alien endorsement makes all the difference.
Yeah, motionview. Pablo said it much better than me. Heh. Go figure. Anyway, I’d tie up to that dock.
“Ok I’m in; but if we have to fall back, what say we build a supply bridge across the Gulf. Florida has the second most cattle and the best beaches.”
And if you watch “Discovery ID” Florida also has the best violent white trash on the planet.
Detroit, Chicago, NYC , pish posh. It’s all crap. Even the cities covered in various seasons of “The First 48” don’t measure up (except Miami). The violent crime stories that come out of “America’s schlong” are just freakin’ jaw dropping. No, thank you.
Seriously, it’s like an awful, awful vintage, meth addicted, murder wine.
And it’s always next to some canal, pretty everglade, or nice beach.
We can build the supply bridge as far as Tallahassee, but then I’m out.
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