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First I was ronely, so ronely — so ronely and sadly arone. And now? Just dead.

In communist afterlife Hell, Kim Jong-il is right now standing in a long line awaiting his turn at a filthy crapper hole he’ll being sharing for eternity with a bunch of pale, flaccid, dead bureaucrats. All of whom have ringworm. And one of whom will every day for the rest of ever share with him a story about how he once was caught in a storm and for survival, was forced to kill and eat a disease-ravaged horse.

But no worries: a destroyed nation no doubt mourns his passing.

22 Replies to “First I was ronely, so ronely — so ronely and sadly arone. And now? Just dead.”

  1. Alec Leamas says:

    What? Such bad news. And to think he was having such a great week after a round of golf in which he shot eighteen straight holes-in-one.

  2. Carin says:

    Good thing we have a foreign policy expert in the White House.

  3. Carin says:

    This is potentially a game-changing event,” Victor Cha, a former chief U.S. negotiator for North Korean nuclear talks under President George W. Bush, said in an interview. “If you asked experts what would be the most likely scenario for North Korea to collapse, the answer everyone would give you is ‘if Kim Jong Il died today.’ We’re in that scenario.”

    The prospect of a crisis in the region — whether a hardening of confrontational behavior or a collapse of the impoverished state triggering a humanitarian emergency — is an additional foreign policy challenge for the the Obama administration 11 months before the U.S. presidential election and just as the U.S. completes its military withdrawal from Iraq.

    From here.

    I’m sure South Korea is sleeping easy knowing that Obama’s got their back. Jake Tapper:

    “The President reaffirmed the United States’ strong commitment to the stability of the Korean Peninsula and the security of our close ally, the Republic of Korea.

    bahaa haaa haa ..

  4. happyfeet says:

    I’m glad he’s dead

  5. Alec Leamas says:

    I’m glad he’s dead.

    Don’t celebrate too soon.

    It is a widely-held belief in DPRK that Kim will rise from the dead in two days, thus besting Jesus’ world record by a whole 24 hours.

  6. FAG will be sending its condolences.

  7. Carin says:

    Things to do in North Korea when Kim Jong Ill is dead …

    1) Cry in public for extra food rations
    2) Flee for China while the guards are crying for extra food rations

  8. batboy says:

    Kim Jong Il?

    No. Dead.

  9. TaiChiWawa says:

    Is Jong-il’s young son, Jong-un, a good choice for Choson?

  10. Squid says:

    If you think South Korea is blanching at the thought of reunification costs, you can only imagine what our neighbors to the north must be feeling. I’m just hoping that my familiarity with hockey and my pronunciation of the long O will enable me to blend in with the natives…

  11. JohnInFirestone says:

    Wonder if Hans Brix sleeps better now…

  12. Darleen says:

    But no worries: a destroyed nation no doubt mourns his passing.

    Yes, they are … a whole country in the grips of Stockholm Syndrome… creepy just doesn’t cover it

  13. Slartibartfast says:

    If you think South Korea is blanching at the thought of reunification costs

    I think at this point South Korea would trade untold amounts of reunification costs for a removal of all of the artillery tubes currently pointed at Seoul.

    I’m guessing that other nations would help out, though.

    Hard to imagine that North Koreans could still be wedded to socialism after many decades of fail.

  14. geoffb says:

    Need to get Hillary and the foggy bottom boys out of this and send in the real foreign policy expert, Grandmaster Joey B., he just knows things.

  15. dicentra says:

    Hard to imagine that North Koreans could still be wedded to socialism after many decades of fail.

    They’re so deeply damaged they’d be hard-pressed to live as free people. All those decisions to make! People from the USSR seeing the many choices for aspirin in a U.S. store nearly went into full breakdown mode because it was too, too much to take in.

    The poor NorKs are like animals kept in small cages their whole lives: they can’t fend for themselves in the wild, and they’re too neurotic to live with less-damaged animals in a zoo. Adopt out all their infants to the South Koreans and then in 20 years, repopulate the northern part of the peninsula with sane people.

  16. geoffb says:

    Memories of the good days now past.

  17. geoffb says:

    And the other ones not to be talked of.

  18. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Hard to imagine that North Koreans could still be wedded to socialism after many decades of fail.

    It seems to be working for the members of the inner party.

  19. North Korea, where waking up on December 25th to find lumps of coal in your stocking might be considered wonderful.

  20. geoffb says:

    A couple more NK videos that Vanderleun linked.

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