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TIM TEBOW 2016! [UPDATED]

Because you won’t find any shit in his closet. And besides, it’ll be awesome watching Jen Rubin and the rest of the chattering, pragmatic, GOP Establishment Grandmasters of a Sane Status Quo forced to (at least pretend to) back a squeaky-clean, godbothering social con because they simply can’t find any dirt on him that they can credibly use to take his unsophisticated, hick ass down.

Or else they can do what they truly want to do and throw up a little in their mouths, then scuttle back over to the Democrat camp from which they migrated when the media opened its doors to acceptable “conservative” opinion.

Either or.

I’m good with whatever they decide.

****
update: Unfortunately, we may have to wait until 2024. That’s when Tebow will be old enough to qualify for the job. Just hold on until then, people. After all, it’s not like the country’s going anywhere. Right?

23 Replies to “TIM TEBOW 2016! [UPDATED]”

  1. happyfeet says:

    that’s just zany

  2. JohnInFirestone says:

    All right…Who’s feeding you tweets between me and bh?

  3. Jeff G. says:

    Climb onboard the Tebow Train, happy. Your only complaint will be that he actually believes what it is he believes, and that he truly believes his beliefs.

    And then you’ll have to show how those beliefs are dangerous to a constitutional republic such that it disqualifies him for President. Short of that, you’re fucked.

    And the funny bit is? People like you have GUARANTEED that these are the only kinds of people left who can run on the R side of things.

  4. Jeff G. says:

    You guys are tweeting the same thing, John?

  5. happyfeet says:

    it sounds positively exhausting

  6. LBascom says:

    Tebow won’t have to have shit in his closet. Just some broke ass person in his past that will pretend to be closet shit for 15 minutes and a book deal.

    It’s about the seriousness of the charge, you see…

  7. Pablo says:

    Look at all his penalties! Delay of game? You want GRIDLOCK? False start? False means he’s a liar!!! He can’t be trusted!!! Intentional grounding? He can’t be Commander in Chief, he’ll get the whole Air Force and half the Navy killed!

  8. Jeff G. says:

    Not really, happy. Just lie back and accept it.

    Like I’m sure all Cain’s white womminz did.

  9. Jeff G. says:

    I may have to fly up to Alaska and drag Palin into the race by her hair.

  10. Ernst Schreiber says:

    It’s unfortunate it took her as long as it did to get up from the pot.

    Unless a third party challenge to the semi-soft-left R and semi-solid-left D was her plan all along.

  11. bh says:

    If we can get Von Miller as VP I might be down for this.

  12. Hey, I think I asked last week when Tebow turns 35…

    Driving home last night listening to the pre-game on XM and Jim Gray asks Larry Fitzgerald just how much of this Tebow Jesus stuff is too much, expecting to get an amen. But Fitz says that he’s a Christian and it doesn’t bother him. Heck, I’m not a Christian and it doesn’t bother me. But as long as it bugs the, ahem, bejeezus out of media knuckleheads like Jim Gray (anyone remember his boxing interviews from the Olympics?) I hope Tim Tebow keeps on keepin’ on.

  13. mongo78 says:

    The mainstreaming of casual anti-Christian bigotry has gone on mostly unnoticed, but it is deeply, deeply disturbing to me.

    I don’t know if any of the commenters here are familiar with the ABC sitcom The Middle, but it has a Christian youth minister as a recurrent character. The character is treated with respect and mild humour, and is portrayed as compassionate and dedicated. It is unlike any character I can recall on network TV in decades.

  14. iron308 says:

    When did we start worrying about constitutional eligibility requirements again?

  15. Benedick says:

    The only thing in Tebow’s closet is Tebow.

  16. mojo says:

    What about that other dweeb, Whats-his-name? The one who is willing to run either as a Libertarian or as a Green – depending on who will have him.

    Nice.

  17. Libby says:

    Well, as long as Rove tells me he’s “electable” I’ll vote for him. Wouldn’t want one of those Tea Party freaks. Look how well we’ve done with “electable” RINO candidates like John McCain.

  18. Crawford says:

    The mainstreaming of casual anti-Christian bigotry has gone on mostly unnoticed, but it is deeply, deeply disturbing to me.

    This.

    I’ve known Christian shitheads. I’ve known non-Christian shitheads.

    But most of the shitheads I’ve known have been zealously anti-Christian.

    And you can guaran-damn-tee that the people shrieking and clutching their pearls over the idea that Tebow is a dedicated Christian get all upset at the rednecks who worry about the courts enforcing sharia.

  19. dicentra says:

    That a person self-identifies as Christian or atheist or whatever tells you exactly nothing about a person’s character.

    Some people don’t get this, on both sides. Some people need to get a clue.

  20. Kira Argounova says:

    “After all, it’s not like the country’s going anywhere. Right?”

    Nope. Pretty much leftward-ho from here on out!

  21. Slartibartfast says:

    As bad as Tebow’s throwing motion is, consider how much better it is than that of the incumbent.

    Plus, he could throw Barack over one shoulder, Michelle over the other, and still run the 40 faster than Joe Biden.

  22. One football observation, Tim Tebow’s success indicates just how important it is to winning to not turn the ball over. If he were turining it over at an average rate or at a rate commensurate with how “bad” he is at QB, he’d be lucky to win a game. Evah.

    Gregg Easterbrook observed today that Tim Tebow has the lowest interception ratio in the NFL, lower than even Aaron Rodgers.. If he had enough passes to qualify his passer rating would be better than that of Joe Flacco, Michael Vick and Matt Cassell, all of whom are considered legitimate NFL QBs.

  23. Swen says:

    Hey! I’ll vote for him, but only if he makes Woody Paige his press secretary. 8)

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