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Sudden (vice-presidential candidate) fiction

“The Ur Bunny”

by John Edwards

     I live in the Ur Bunny’s belly.  I nourish and sleep there.  She is kind to me.  She is tender and warm.

     The day she came to devour me I saw that her eyes were kind and her teeth gently beveled.  I was not afraid and let her swallow me, whole like a baby carrot.

     “You will be safe,” I heard her say as I slid down her bunny gullet, saliva-lubed and happy.  Like a fuzzy duckling I set to work immediately upon a nest of straw and shredded newspaper and bedded down.

     At day she sleeps and her bunny belly is smooth-ridged and quiet.  At night she hunts (she prefers stationary prey, lettuce heads and legumes and various edible roots, who seldom muster a defense). When she is fed and content she sucks her teeth.  When she is in heat she warbles like a siren in the sea.

     I live in her belly and I am happy.  And if I have seen her face but once, I love it more than my life.  She is my good Ur Bunny and I am her spiritual son—her unborn bunnylet, her polished parasite.

****

based on the story “The Beast,” by Rikki Ducornet

10 Replies to “Sudden (vice-presidential candidate) fiction”

  1. Bill in CO says:

    After discovering WebDelSol and upon reading more of Rikki’s writing I found myself terribly humbled and amazed.  Like watching Cirque Du Soleil and learning for the first time what the human body is really capable of, I saw Rikki craft the English languge into shapes and directions I hadn’t thought possible.  Understand it all?  Not a chance.  But it’s mesmerizing and it’s almost tragic: to realize you’ll never be that good; but to learn what’s possible means there’s room to grow.

  2. Chrees says:

    Bunny abortion on demand could be a problem for Edwards, here… unless of course it is seen as a constitutional right.  I might have found it at Amendment 4.3.2.6, subparagraph (c)

  3. SarahW says:

    Bunnies can resorb developing vice-presidential canditates. And embryos.

  4. Joe says:

    I am becoming – slowly, yes, becoming, as I was meant to be : yes. I can be softer, lose the coarse shape of manly substance; I can become the fuzziness. My bunnyness is near completion, and I am the fluffyness.

  5. tommy says:

    Jeff, i don’t know what it is that you drink, but A) does it have a child proof cap and is stored under the sink; and B) if not, where can i get some?

    :-D

  6. George says:

    When you Google “Ur Bunny,” this post comes up second. The rest, naturally, are just kiddie AOL-speak, using “ur” for “your.” Incidentally, there are lots of sites talking about “your bunny,” though. 

    In any event, I never once imagined that I would see the phrase “Ur Bunny” and then laugh uncontrollably.  What a world.

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