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Monkey?  Are you going to dan–

Stop.  The monkey, in a pathetic ploy to impress a local TV weather girl, downed eleven flaming Ouzo shots last evening—which left him with a nasty hangover and smelling like a hot licorice fart trapped in shag carpeting.

You’ll forgive him his modesty today, I trust.

15 Replies to “Monkey?  Are you going to dan–”

  1. Murel Bailey says:

    Ouzo is like two gas trucks, one loaded with Everclear, the other with aniseseed, colliding in your mouth and catching fire. My sympathies.

  2. Toy Boat says:

    You’ll forgive him his modesty today, I trust.

    i most certainly will not!  i demand perfection from my monkeys and will not tolerate th-

    *falls off log*

  3. marc w. says:

    Talking back to 80s music:

    Shock?  You think this is the result of an electric shock?  Yeah right, and if you stick your finger in a light socket you’ll shit a gallon of pale yellow licorice-and-ass water and spit half-digested onion rings down your chest.  Jeebus, I’m against animal cruelty as much as you are, but that’s just a goddamned cheap shot.

    *”shock the monkey,” Peter Gabriel

  4. Darren says:

    Well tell that Monkey to rest up, cause there’s a Rocky MOuntain Bogger Bash planned for November 6th and the Falling Rock Tap House, and Monkey’s are allowed!!!!

  5. Darren says:

    My typing’s atrocious.  Can you tell I’m excited?

  6. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Do they serve Guinness?  Because if they serve Guinness, the monkey will even get a haircut.

  7. JH says:

    Was it Cathy Sabine?  She’s hot.

  8. ”…a hot licorice fart trapped in shag carpeting”

    Goddamn.

  9. jmflynny says:

    Wow.

    That’s very descriptive.

  10. jmflynny says:

    What the heck happened to my italics?

  11. Jeff Goldstein says:

    No idea.  None.

  12. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Oh.  I think you have to use the italics toolbar, otherwise the program reads the carrots as greater than and less than signs.

  13. Scott P says:

    I’ve never had the toolbar in Safari.  Except I can see the emoticons button.  I (less than sign/i/greater than sign) hate (less than sign///i/greater than sign) emoticons… but I can insert tags manually .

    What’s up with that?  Is there really a tag toolbar for the rest of you?

  14. McGehee says:

    I have a tag toolbar, a streaming video of Ann Coulter stripping, and a virtual tap sticking out of my monitor that dispenses my favorite beer.

    Doesn’t everybody?

  15. Scott P says:

    You’re set, McGehee.  No reason to ever leave the house again.  ‘Cept for munchies, of course.

Comments are closed.