9. “And to my dear friends the Aztecs, I’d like say that we in America are profoundly sorry for belittling your heritage by referring to the tequila shits as ‘Moteuczomah’s Revenge.'”
8. “– Which is why Americans wish to apologize for never having truly embraced the that sport you do with the brooms and ice.”
7. “And yes, to this day, that portrayal of a non-gay American playing a gay American to the evident discomfort of Mr Roper, is a reminder of just how far we’ve come — and how far we still need to go.”
6. “Let me be clear: Polish people are just as capable of changing a light bulb individually as any other person in any other ethnic identity group.”
5. “The bottom line is this: such songs do more to divide us, as citizens of the world, than they do to unite us. And we must all strive for that day where it matters little whether you are ‘on a Mexican radio,’ or the radio of some other great and proud nation.”
4. “…But as prisoners of war, representing the allied forces, Colonel Hogan and his charges had the responsibility to treat Colonel Klink and Sargeant Schultz with the same respect and dignity with which they themselves wished to be treated…”
3. “Still, the fact is, ‘maize’ is your word. And a couple of ad execs at some big corporation, working for some fatcat conglomerate, had no right to appropriate it and then use it to hawk their Mazola margarine.”
2. “Deep frying a Twinkie may seem like it’s a good idea. I mean, it probably tastes delicious, to those who live in trailers or frequent county fairs. But to the rest of the world, they stand as a symbol for excess, and for the kind of backwoods provincialism that keeps many Americans clinging to their guns and their religion.”
1. “So yes. 10 seasons of ‘Friends” was at least 7 seasons too much.”*
Also, Perry needs to be the one to apologize for that whole Alamo thing.
The tens of millions of Americans and Japanese who would never have been born because their fathers* or grandfathers died in the invasion of the Japanese home islands would like to say you owe us an apology for even thinking of that idea.
*I’m one, my father was on Okinawa awaiting orders to invade the main islands. He told me after what they went through on Okinawa none of them expected to survive the invasion of Japan proper.
“And to the Schoenbaums who live by the fairway on the 14th hole, let me be clear — I’m working on straightening my drive, and the windows will be replaced as soon as I get my allowance from Michelle.”
…let’s face it, on paper you had the better team It was obviously a fluke for those kids to come out on top like that. I’m very sorry for any embarrassment that the score and the excessive celebration may have caused and especially the use of the loaded and offensively overtly religious word “miracle” by the announcer. Please be assured that although the team may have been wearing the colors of the US, their actions did not and do not reflect the opinions of the US government now or especially at the time of the offense.
…and so I have instructed the Secretary of State to immediately and forthwith provide the British Government and her agent the East India Company with funds to cover the cost of the 45 tons of tea destroyed in this heinous act of vandalism, including all taxes, levies, penalties and duties assigned.
LBascom, Perry doesn’t have anything to apologize for at the Alamo. San Jacinto, however…;-)
Yes, Generalissimo Santa Ana was treated so unfairly by that back-woods hick, Sam Houston…
Very interesting geoffb. My grandfather, 3rd Army, France and Germany campaign ribbons, mustered out in Guam.
Is Generalissimo Francisco Franco still dead?
…rest assured that I am working tirelessly to have the offensively nationalistic expression “land of the free and the home of the brave” stricken from…
#9
Just as dead as Chevy Chases’ career.
Community is actually a really funny show.
Maybe Japan will let Obama apologize for shooting down those Japanese airplanes in Hawaii.
I mean, we hadn’t even declared war on Japan, and there we were, shooting down their airplanes!
#11 — not dead enough, is what you’re saying?