Strange — but so far friendly — alien children have landed in my living room and are demanding of my time this morning. My gut tells me I shouldn’t piss them off, small though they be. So posting might be sporadic. And frequently interrupted with strings of curse words.
Followed, of course, by reconciling hugs.
Just thought you all should know.
I am jealous. Have fun. My 5 year old yesterday asked me when she would be allowed to say the “c” word. I started to shit my pants thinking she may mean “cunt”. But, alas all was well when I asked her to whisper it to me. In a barely audible, yet beautiful, little voice, came out the word, “crap”. There was a hug or two going on that moment.
Duct tape is an excellent babysitter, I hear. Keeps ’em quiet and immobile, makes taking care of ’em a breeze.
AFS
I’ve found industrial strength velcro to be a wonder … you can let ’em run outside, then just stick em up on the wall later for safe-keeping
if you want Romney can demagogue the shit out of those children for you
[…] Invasion Strange — but so far friendly — alien children have landed in my living room and are demanding of my time this morning. My gut tells me I shouldn’t piss them off, small though they be. […]
See, Darleen, that’s the difference between being a newish parent like myself and a wily vet, such as yourself. More finesse in your method and no need for Goof-off later.
Um, not that I’ve ever used duct tape…
Nieces and nephews?
I’ve got eleven, ages 4-21. En masse, they babysit themselves.
I’d keep an eye on that blue kid with the antennae, he looks like trouble…
A Fine Scotch: Raised three kids myself. It’s kind of amusing how things change as you add children. With the first kid, they so much as sniffle and you’re out the door to the doctor. By the time #3 rolls around, you’re so blasé about the various bumps and bruises children collect, they darn near have to have arterial bleeding before you notice. Even then you might wait to see just how serious it is.
Yea, try having 5 kids. Good think the youngest is hearty.
Blake,
I’ve got 2 and feel guilty on occasion as to how blase I am responding to her. I frequently catch myself muttering, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get there,” “You’re fine” or “Rub some dirt on it and walk it off”. The last is particularly inapt, as she’s only 10 months old.
The her in #11 refers to child #2. Damn you, lack of sleep!!! [shakes fist angrily]
It will be interesting to see if my boy raises the grandalien with the walk it off attitude I raised him with (when his mother wasn’t watching.)
(First grandalien, arrived Tuesday night.)