In the early 80s, erstwhile Cuban refugee and future drug lord Tony Montana planned to set up shop in Herman Cain’s city but changed his mind suddenly when, purely by happenstance, he watched a shirtless Cain hoist a railroad tie and use it as a makeshift pry bar to move a stalled school bus full of orphans off the tracks and out of the way of an onrushing train.
Full of puppies.
On a high speed rail line. And then gave them all free Godfather’s Pizza afterwards.
I have not changed my initial stance of liking Mr. Cain best out of the field.
I heard that the puppies were also orphans.
Blind orphan puppies, having been saved from a house fire, one by one, by their mamadog, who perished from the burns she suffered during the rescue.
And then he calculated both the position and velocity of a subatomic particle.
Cain needs to hire a good advisor and some other help to coach him on some stuff. I think a little would help. I want him to make fewer mistakes, while still being himself. Maybe he should do mock interviews or something with adversarial types, just to get his game up to speed.
And I agree, I like him the best of the current field. He lacks the experience of being a governor, which would be nice, but I think he could do a good job, because he is smart enough to know he doesn’t know everything, and would need really good advisers who wouldn’t necessarily agree with him on everything. That would be a refreshing change from what we have now.
Plus, he is a great speaker, and actually deserves that praise.
Tony was heard mumbling while playing dominoes on Calle Ocho that it was Herman Cain snapping a crisp salute to the Train engineer as the locomotive rushed past, then flashing his famous smile, that unnerved him.
JG, LtC John:
Maybe so. But was it an authentically Black thing to do?
I’ll see what David Brooks has to say.
A railway tie? What a dope! He should have used the rail, it’s longer and made of steel. Unless….he wanted to do it the hard way. either way, he’s The Man
I heard it was because Herman Cain was overheard saying “oh yeah? Why don’t YOU say hello to MY little friend!” right before he shattered Montana’s jaw with a thunderous clockslap.
If he’d have used used the rail, then he’d have had to stop the train from derailing. And that would have been showing off.
Exactly, Ernst.
Herman is a problem solver. Not a narcissist.
The idea for the 9-9-9 plan came from the length, circumference, and Rockwell scale values of Little Herman.
Yes cubed. There was that knock on him regarding Afghanistan in which he basically said “I don’t know what I’d do there, but I know how I’d figure out what I’m going to do.” the point being that he doesn’t have the information necessary to formulate an effective plan, what with not currently being POTUS and all. It was exactly the right answer, yet it was universally spun as “He has no plan! He’s clueless!”
Nope, better to have a punk who’s never run anything telling you he’ll do it right because HOPENCHANGE! and also not Bush. *toothy grin*
There was this one time when James Brown was performing on stage, and Herman Cain walked into the room.
James immediately turned to his bodyguard and said “Get my coat, I’m outta here.”
Pablo,
Cain should point out his philosophy was similar to that of Einstein (“Know where to find the information and how to use it”). That should shut up the critics…
My wife once wondered if Chuck Norris takes Viagra. I said I don’t know, but Viagra takes Herman Cain.
Herman Cain says the Packers better watch out come week five, ’cause he’ll be in the house.
The Packers say that Herman Cain undoubtedly remembers that he won the Wisco straw poll long before these tardy Floridians. The Packers say that Herman Cain received the unreserved affection of the free cheese peoples when he spoke at our largest tea party rally in Madison.
So, the Packers urge a statesmanlike neutrality in week five.
Cain once murdered his very own brother over a matter of a few sheep.
You don’t want to get on his bad side. He’ll cut you.
Palin calls “Herb” Cain the “flavor of the week.”
If I were a cynic, I would say it sounds like a) sour grapes or b) she’s trying to curry favor with the Republican “establishment”.
Cain should point out his philosophy was similar to that of Einstein (“Know where to find the information and how to use it”). That should shut up the critics…
Well, we’ve seen how well “the smartest man eva” does running the country. The man who was reported to have said that he was a better speechwriter than his speechwriters, that he knew more about policies than his policy directors, and was a better political director than his political director.
You know who I’m talking about.
Matt Damon?
That’s right LMC.
Matt fucking Damon.
Of course, if you turn that 9-9-9 upside down, what do you get?
Huh? Huh?
…
Upside-down nines.
h/t Glenn Beck
She followed that up with something about the media building these guys up so they can tear them back down, didn’t she? (Going off of what I heard from Rush earlier, I didn’t see the interview.) Sounds to me like a legitimate observation about the horse race handicappers in the commentariat.
Herb Caen was from Sackamenna and never got over the ribbing they gave him in San Francisco over that fact.
Herman Cain doesn’t pay toll crossing Bay Area bridges. He walks across the bay.
When Herman Cain says, “Yo momma is so fat…”, you hurry the fuck up and agree with the man.
One of Herman’s ancestors was named Kwai Chang.
Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga translates as “The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake.”
The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake translates as “Herman Cain.”
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer, but Chuck Norris never cries.
Dick Cheney could make Chuck Norris cry, but he chooses not to.
Herman Cain can make Dick Cheney cry, so Dick Cheney better watch his ass.
Sage, thymely advice, Carin.
Transcript and video of Palin on Greta Van Susteren’s show.
Cain fell off the list when he said he couldn’t support Perry. Jesus Christ if a winsome little pikachu can support Perry in spite of his many many silly qualities what the fuck is Herman’s problem? He can support Miss Mittens Galore but not someone what has ably governed the mostest job-creatingest state in America for a decade? That’s gayer than donna summer karaoke night with putin.
“Cain fell off the list when he said he couldn’t support Perry.”
herb needs a huntsman universal support.
Cain said he couldn’t support Perry as the nominee. Which makes sense, because he’s running against him.
But there’s no doubt he’d support Perry over Obama or Hillary.
Also parsley and rosemary advice.
Always remember to refresh before posting. 36 for 31.
but he says he *could* support Romney, who he is also running against
True enough. I just think he’s trying to separate himself from Perry — and no one is ever going to confuse him for Romney, though now Romney could consider Cain for Veep.
It’s a tempest in a Tea Pot. Just like the media trying to get Cain and Palin fighting.
Cain won’t be voting for a Democrat. So why pretend it matters — much less is a deal killer. Perry has been fumbling around a bit, and his immigration policies are, when coupled with his being a Texas governor, too much of a Bush reminder. This is something he’s going to have to overcome.
he needs to get cracking or it’s gonna be a Romney world and we’ll just be living in it
In 1978, a young Herman Cain was playing sax in Paul Anka’s band.
One night, during a particularly heated post-gig band meeting, Anka was heard to say “Now Herman, he can wear whatever the fuck he wants!”
“he needs to get cracking”
racist
Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark.