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protein wisdom exclusive:  a preview of tonight’s Bill O’Reilly interview with President Bush

[a partial transcript.]

O’Reilly:  So tell me, Mr. President—what is it about me that made you want to be interviewed by me. Was it my blue-collar grittiness?  The way I relate to the folks?  My fierce independence? The way I look out for the little guy who, let’s face it, just wants to make a living, hug his kids, watch football on Sundays, maybe bang his secretary every other Wednesday—all without a lot of government interference?”

Bush:  “Well, I –”

O’Reilly:  “– John Kerry won’t even come on ‘The Factor, y’know.’ Hillary either.  You think they’re scared of me?  Afraid of the tough questions I’d ask ‘em? My ‘no-spin’ style? My fierce independence?  Afraid of my relationship with the folks?”

Bush:  “That’s possible, I suppose –”

O’Reilly:  “– The thing is, Kerry knows I won’t let him tick off talking points for thirty minutes.  That’s not what I’m about.  I’m tough, sure.  But I’m fair.  Tough, but fair, is how I describe my style.  Is that how you’d describe me style, Mr. President?”

Bush:  “Tough but fair, sure –”

O’Reilly:  “I mean, haven’t I been fair to you?  Fair and fiercely independent?  A journalistic throwback?  A man trusted by the folks?”

Bush:  “– If I could just –”

O’Reilly:  “– Y’know what?  I’m thinking about buying a cape.  You think I could pull off a cape?  Because nothing screams ‘I’m fierely independent’ more than a man in a cape…”

17 Replies to “protein wisdom exclusive:  a preview of tonight’s Bill O’Reilly interview with President Bush”

  1. BumperStickerist says:

    O’Reilly: But enough of what I think about me, tell me:  what do you think of me?

  2. Matt says:

    I’m very disappointed that you couldn’t think of a way to work an Oliver Willis insult into this piece. Getting lazy on us?

  3. LOL!!! Of course all we will hear from now on from Bill is how brave Bush was on to come on the show. Bush is no fool, he knows Bill will gush about it until election time. “The President was a straight shooter, came on to face me, and we all know that aint easy, God, I love me.”

  4. It’s funny, cause it’s true.  And by “true”, I mean “CBS true.” And by “CBS true” I mean it’s factually wrong yet substantively true.  Or something.

  5. Funny as hell!  I thought I was reading outtakes from his “60 Minutes” interview.

    Now that I think about it, I want a cape.

    BTW, good looking header!  That would look mighty stylish on a white tee shirt. 

    With a cape.

  6. Paul Zrimsek says:

    The whole pajama thing is over then? OK, it was getting kind of stale anyway. Capes for everyone it is!

  7. Ted says:

    Thanks for only including this part of the interview.

    The part after this where O’Reilly started talking about himself got old after the second segment.

    We need a Celebrate Diversity cape. I bet even Willis could fit in a cape…well, a really big cape. like a tarp with some rope to hold it up. and a racist mascot on the back.

  8. John Resnick says:

    See! I KNEW Goldstein was/is Bush! (just like that mumbling troll is always saying)

  9. Hunter says:

    – Aware of O’Rielly’s recent efforts to harry/weedle/badger/shame Kerry into an appearance on his show I wonder what that exchange might look like….

    O’Reilly:  So tell me, Senator—what is it about me that made you want to be interviewed by me. Was it my blue-collar grittiness?  The way I relate to the folks?  My fierce independence? The way I look out for the little guy who, let’s face it, just wants to make a living, hug his kids, watch football on Sundays, maybe bang his secretary three times a week—all without a lot of government interference or higher taxes?”

    Kerry: Well Bill, being a man who knows the high cost of war, and holding three pueple hearts and two medals myself I can…..

    O’Reilly:  “– Y’know, Bill Clinton won’t come on ‘The Factor.’ Hillary either.  You think they’re scared of me?  Afraid of the tough questions I’d ask ‘em? My ‘no-spin’ style? My fierce independence?  Afraid of my relationship with the humble ordinary folks like myself?”

    Kerry: Well you know President Clinton doesn’t share my experiences of facing the enemy, charging right into the face of danger and….

    O’Reilly:  “– The thing is, Hillery knows I won’t let her tick off talking points for thirty minutes.  That’s not what I’m about.  I’m tough, sure.  But I’m fair.  Tough, but fair, is how I describe my style.  Tough, fair, balanced, and unafraid, not a partisan bone in my body….Is that how you’d describe me style, Senator?”

    Kerry: Bill you know that most woman have never been under the gun in the heat of battle like….

    O’Reilly:  “I mean, haven’t I been fair to you?  Fair and fiercely independent?  A journalistic throwback?  A man who always triple checks his sources? A man trusted by the folks?”

    Kerry: Back in Vietnam we always said that the fairest guy was always the one with a movie camera…My band of brothers would…..

    O’Reilly:  “– Y’know what?  I’m thinking about buying a magic hat.  You think I could pull off a magic hat like your’s ?  Because nothing screams ‘I’m fierely independent’ more than a man with a magic hat…”

  10. Tman says:

    O’Reilly’s Cape: Christ Bill, not again…..didn’t you learn your lesson last time? Putting me on doesn’t turn you in to Superman, and no, you can’t see through Greta’s blouse for godsakes. Seriously, I wonder why I left Rather in the first place. God knows he could use me now….

  11. kelly says:

    You forgot the part where O’Reilly says, “I’ll give you the last word.” And then…doesn’t.

  12. Joe says:

    Who’s this now ? Bill O’Reilly ? Sorry, never heard of the guy.

  13. Joe says:

    By the way, your new header looks suspiciously like it was typed on a 70’s era IBM Selectric Composer, in a Times Roman Font.

    I question the timing of this so-called “site maintanence”.

  14. Ian Wood says:

    My grandfather worked for IBM for 40 years.  Man, I got SLT fabrication modules and IBM Selectric balls from the ‘60s encased in lucite.  Y’all don’t know jack, man, I got the primary source material in like preservationed format, I–oh.

    Nah, got nothing about capes.

    Carry on.

    Good work, and whatnot.

  15. Sean M. says:

    What kind of capes are we talking about here?  Superhero capes?  Opera capes?  Or Shazaam’s cape, which (if my memory serves me) was one from column a, and one from column b?

  16. addison says:

    Fake but accurate.  I likey.  wink

  17. McGehee says:

    Being as I’m in Alaska at the moment, make mine a duct cape.

Comments are closed.