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If Michael Moore were a pop song, he’d be “The Night Chicago Died from Eating Too Many Sausage Patties in a Single Sitting,” by Paper Lace

Oh, for Chissakes.  I bet he wishes vinyl LPs were still around.  CDs are so much less efficient as snack trays.

****

(via Michele, who should never go away again.)

25 Replies to “If Michael Moore were a pop song, he’d be “The Night Chicago Died from Eating Too Many Sausage Patties in a Single Sitting,” by Paper Lace”

  1. JohnO says:

    Well I think he would be “La Vida Mocha, with lots of whipped cream and some sprinkles.”

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    That’d work, too.

  3. Bill in CO says:

    Or possibly, “Reach the Beach, You Bloated White Whale and Useless Partisan Hack, Passing Off Scrofulous Tripe as Documentaries” by the Fixx

  4. Or “Killing An Arab That Unfortunatly Got Between Me And Krisry Kreme When The ‘Hot Doughnuts Now’ Sign Came On” by the Cure.

  5. Here’s that “p” I owe ya.

  6. Jeff Goldstein says:

    “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero—Unless, Of Course, It’s a Hero Sandwich, in Which Case, Extra Meatballs and Cheese, Please,” by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods.

  7. Michael Ware says:

    Don’t Bogart that pot roast my friend, pass it over to me.

  8. Bill in CO says:

    “No Quarter – For Anyone That Gets In My Way Once Those Fools Restock the Buffet Line; Hurry the Hell Up!” by Led Zepplin

  9. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    “The Eggplant (hidden beneath two layers of cheese, some tomato sauce, Italian sausage, and pepperoni) That Ate Chicago” by Dr. West’s Medicine Show (strangely enough, available only on old LPs).

    I know, I know, I’m dating myself.

    But it’s a cheap date (even though the priests back in prep school used to tell me that I’d go blind if I dated myself).

  10. Hoodlumman says:

    Or “My Ass Is A Weapon of Mass Destruction Post Snook Chili Fest” by a Vanilla Ice & Cream collaboration

  11. Paul Zrimsek says:

    “Rock the Boat…We Mean, Capsize the Boat…. Make That, Sink the Boat Just By Getting Into It” by the Hues Corporation.

  12. Dawn W says:

    “Across the Universse and over the tongue, look out stomach, here it comes” by The Beatles

    Pasta’s flowing out

    Like tickertape into a pick up truck

    They slither while they pass

    They slip their way into alfredo sauce…

    Pools of gravy

    Wavy Lays of joy

    are drifting though my open mouth

    possessing and caressing me…

    Why chew-ew just gulp OM!

    Nothing’s gonna change my world

  13. Paul Zrimsek says:

    Is “Roll Me Away” by Bob Seger disqualified for being an unmodified title?

  14. McGehee says:

    “Dark Side of the Moonbat”

  15. “Strange Brew That Washed Down That 55-Gallon Drum Of Pudding” by Cream

  16. I think I hurt myself.  And I have to go change my underwear.  Bastards.

  17. Sean M. says:

    Does it also feature Fleetwood Mac’s “Little Lies”?

    (I feel dirty just for mentioning Fleetwood Mac.  Ugh.)

  18. Average Joe says:

    Michele, who should never go away again

    Jeff, I am so with you there…

  19. SpoogeDemon says:

    “Stairway to Ham.  Lots and Lots of Ham.  Mmmmm… Ham.”

    Or, when he’s really rockin’: “Hell Bent For Bacon Double Cheeseburgers”

  20. Rube says:

    I think I’d stick with “Hey Fatbay, Asshole” from Ween.  Although it’s not really pop, I guess.

  21. Paul Zrimsek says:

    Yes, Sean, it’s painful… but it builds character.

    P.S. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow’s all-you-can-eat special at Denny’s.

  22. Scott says:

    “Eat a Peach- and everything else in aisles four, five, and six at the local Piggly-Wiggly”- The Allman Bros.

  23. Jeff Schultz says:

    “Born in the IGA” – Springsteen (hat tip to Scott above)

  24. Jeff Schultz says:

    MM’s rerelease of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack:

    “Stayin’ Alive – Barely”

    “How Deep Is Your Lard”

    “Mid-Night snack Fever”

    “More Than a Woman-sized Portion for Me”

    “If I Can’t Have You, I’ll Settle For a Large Rack of Ribs, Chef Salad and a Quart of Fudge, Baby”

    “A Fifth of Cheap Scotch”

    “I’m Large Enough to Show Up on the Manhattan Skyline”

    “Colonic Breakdown”

    “Night on DQ Mountain”

    “You Should Be Dying”

    “Digestive Inferno”

  25. scott says:

    Jeff S.

    Albums, huh?

    The Robert Cray Band- Featuring the Memphis Corn(dog)s- Midnight Stroll(to the bakery for those custard donut thingies with the chocolate stripe on top…)

    1)The Forecast Calls for Pain(Have you ever tried to pass 18 boxes of twinkies?)

    2)These Things(Hmmm…I still can’t get rid of them…)

    3)My Problem(See above…)

    4)Labor of Love(Err.. again, see above…)

    5)Bouncin’ Back(What happens when it finally lets go…)

    6)Consequences(I’m a 350 lb. lazy-ass sack of shit-what did you think would happen?)

    7)The Things You Do to Me(See No. 1,2,3,4 and 5)

    8)Walk Around Time(Gee, 5 more minutes and I can have another one… MMMrrrphhhh– Oops! Couldn’t wait…)

    9)Move a Mountain(Self-explanatory)

    10)Holdin’ Court(Shee-it!  It looks like you’re bigger than the whole east half of the recreation center-plus the four co-ed dorms)

    11)Midnight Stroll(Reprise-Let me have another two dozen of those custard donut thingies…)

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