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Tying up loose ends

1. “Top U.S. Nuke Regulator: Fukushima Had No ‘Immediate Health Impacts;’ ‘Radiation Exposures … Were Able to Be Minimized'”. Meaning, no Godzilla, no Mothra, and no teenage samurai zombie cheerleaders terrorizing an already devastated Japanese countryside — though to be fair, I probably wouldn’t want to trip on Fukushima mushrooms anytime soon.

2. Which reminds me: four months on and still no letter.

3. For the record.

4. OUTLAW!

21 Replies to “Tying up loose ends”

  1. cranky-d says:

    People always remember the hysteria. The truth always comes out later, almost always shows that the damage was not that severe, and is quickly forgotten if it’s even noted in the first place.

  2. John Bradley says:

    Oh, next you’re going to tell me that, in the aftermath of Katrina, there weren’t actually terrifying Zombie Rape Gangs roaming the streets of New Orleans, feasting on the flesh of the living… and buggering it, for good measure?

    I was assured such was the case by no less a man than Shep Smith, who seems downright Democratic in his pragmatic truthiness.

  3. Squid says:

    A trusted friend tells me that Toyotas are prone to uncontrolled acceleration because Jeff’s PORN COCK OF LIES! holds down the gas pedal.

    I have no reason to doubt my trusted friend. Neither should you.

  4. John Bradley says:

    You know, if you don’t stop exhaling, the Earth will turn into a sauna, the ice caps will melt, and the oceans will rise — killing us all.

    If the whole “not exhaling” bit hadn’t already done that.

    Oh, and polar bears will be inconvenienced. Polar bears. Inconvenienced!

  5. motionview says:

    no Godzilla, no Mothra, and no teenage samurai zombie

    Really? Then what the hell is running around my beloved San Clemente, trying to shut down our nuclear reactor? They kind of have a patchouli smell, Birkenstocks or Rainbows sandals, multi-colored dresses and hairy legs and pits? The women I mean, the men appear to have been eunuched from riding a bike too long. Drawn to the smell of free food and ganja. Not teenage samurai zombies, more like 65-is-the-new-40 ACORN rejects.

  6. JHoward says:

    The world: Phone hackers? So try em. Next.

    The left: MURDOCH PERSONALLY DAMNS THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF WHITE SUPREMACY! VINDICATION!

    The BBC: Special special extended coverage of the controversy unfolding in the slums under BBC towers continues after this.

    NPR: You had us at the accent. Next: Stewart and Andrew analyze each other’s tone and come to some rather interesting conclusions.

  7. LTC John says:

    Maybe you will get a “cease and desist talking about the cease and desist letter” letter?

  8. Ernst Schreiber says:

    No teenage mutant nymphomaniacs?

  9. donald says:

    Speak for your self on the mushroom thing jeff.

    Just sayin

  10. geoffb says:

    Then what the hell is running around my beloved San Clemente

    Probably the same thing that has infested Trader Joe’s in Florida.

  11. Squid says:

    That’s San Francisco, geoff. The tomato pickers are in Florida (and don’t sell many tomatoes to Aldi’s Trader Joe’s in the first place).

  12. I’m pretty sure a giant moth ate that letter.

  13. geoffb says:

    OK, so Frisco? progs want higher pay for workers who pick produce in Florida that is shipped to Frisco? What happened to the “buy local” idea?

  14. geoffb says:

    One too many “?”.

  15. happyfeet says:

    anything we can do to enhance tomato picker career satisfaction would probably be retarded

  16. motionview says:

    Anyone mention to those mopes that the only way to increase the tomato picker’s wages is to cut off illegal immigration?

  17. cranky-d says:

    Drive the wages high enough and they’ll mechanize. In fact, I thought they could already pick tomatoes with a machine. Maybe not.

  18. Squid says:

    What’s sad is that a company like Bushel Boy figured out a way to charge a premium for tomatoes that doesn’t involve political rent-seeking or Alinskyite extortion. See, what they did was to build a greenhouse near the Twin Cities and then grow really good tomatoes that actually look and taste like real tomatoes. Turns out that you can find quite a lot of people who will pay extra for stuff that’s not vaguely pink, tough, tasteless, and shipped 1,500 miles.

    It’s sad because BB went to all that work and expense, when they could have just gotten some grad students to march around and make a lot of noise on their behalf. Fools!

  19. happyfeet says:

    tomatobot tomahtobot

  20. LBascom says:

    “anything we can do to enhance tomato picker career satisfaction would probably be retarded”

    You are much, much too late. “retarded” people laugh at that shit now.

    I was commuting to Madera last summer, and between Fresno and Madera (15 miles) there were two billboards for each direction on the 99 advising field workers to drink water. In Spanish and English. With a picture of a small brown woman, not unattractive, hoeing a field. ‘Don’t forget to drink water’ she advises.

    Of course it’s a little further south on 99, getting closer to Bakersfield, where you see a small brown girl on a billboard, possibly the child of the aforementioned billboard woman, cute as all get out, advising in Spanish to check out food stamps.

    I’m starting to hope for retarded. Gotta be better than the lunatic running shit now.

  21. Mueller says:

    #17
    Hence robot welders.

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