Owing to the stunning success of the Teresa Heinz Kerry commemorative 3 haiku narrative plate set, protein wisdom is proud to offer this gorgeous companion set, featuring 3 all-new John F. Kerry-flavored haikus.
1. Prep schools, ivy league —
all that burnishing can’t turn
glass into diamonds.
2. “Were my hair any
stiffer, bird shit would slip off
like so much white rain.”
3. “You’d think my own plates
wouldn’t take cheap shots about
Botox injections.”
*Each haiku is etched onto it’s own 12 inch diameter hand-thrown china plate. The plates themselves feature a white background and double-hoop edge pattern in blue and red. Available as set only. Price: $99.99
update: includes signed Certificate of Authenticity!
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Offer good for a limited time only. While supplies last.
Are they individually numbered? That would make it a no-brainer.
I assume there will be a limited number of firing days, til, say, November 2nd?
You’ve been lied to! I just spent a whole week sipping sweet mint tea at the Happy Luck Plate Factory in Guangdong. Jeez, you’d think you could get decent sweet mint tea in f’in China, wouldn’t you? Anyway, I found that the Certificates of so-called Authenticity were signed by “Opie Taylor” and by one “Hugh G. Rection”, neither of whom has ever even been to Guangdong– though I was unable to either confirm or deny reports that Mr. Rection has transacted business in Canton as recently as 1999. Then I come back home congratulating myself on wrapping up this bit of detective work a day early, only to walk through the bedroom door and discover the real reason my wife keeps putting me in for these fact-finding trips. So don’t start, anyone, just don’t start.
That’s an awful lot of money to pay for things that will just be thrown at the Romanian ambassador in a drunken rage.
You realize, of course, that #1 applies equally well to GW…
But his plate set comes with a beer mug, rather than the Kerry set’s brandy snifter.
#2 is if John Kerry were in the tragic clamactic scene from Blade Runner. All it needs is a little Vangelis.
WTF is a clamax?
SarahW, if you ever walked along a beach at low tide, you’d know…
A clamax is a tool used for chopping clams up. It is the past tense of climax.
A clamax is a tool used for chopping clams up. It is also the past tense of climax.