Investor’s Business Daily:

President Obama’s long-form birth certificate wasn’t the only thing released last Wednesday, but it was probably the least important. The Environmental Protection Agency also released its guidelines for expanding federal power over the nation’s waterways, ponds and puddles.

These guidelines will take effect after a 60-day comment period and will serve as a reference for environmental agencies in determining their jurisdiction over a particular body of water, large or small. They will eventually morph into binding regulations as damaging to our economy and freedom as the EPA regulation of carbon dioxide emissions.

The 1972 Clean Water Act was originally intended to protect the “navigable waters of the United States” — you know, the kind boats travel down. It was broadly and quickly interpreted to any pool of water in America capable of supporting a bathtub-variety boat.

The word “navigable” was forgotten and ignored, and the act’s scope expanded to the point that water that collected after a rainstorm was considered a “wetland” worthy of environmental protection.

TEXTUALISM! Yay!

But remember: I’m the villain for warning you we need to wean ourselves off that particular rhetorical teat, lest we allow the lawyers and not the law to act as the bedrock of our society.

A 2006 U.S. Supreme Court case from Michigan produced five different opinions and no clear definition of which waterways were covered. This essentially left the government with a clean slate on which to write its own interpretation — just about everything.

I rest my case.

House Agricultural Committee Chairman Frank Lucas, R-Okla., says the expanded EPA guidelines would let the government “regulate essentially any body of water, such as a farm pond or even a ditch.” A bipartisan group of 170 congressmen wrote a letter to the EPA and the Army Corps of Engineers urging them not to issue the expanded guidelines.

The American Farm Bureau Federation said in a statement that the guidelines “take an overly broad view of ‘waters of the U.S.’ It would serve as a road map for EPA and the Corps to designate nearly all water bodies, and even some on dry land, as subject to federal regulations that dictate land-use decisions.”

Not just agriculture but energy production is affected. The EPA recently revoked the coal mining permit for Arch Coal’s Spruce Mine No. 1 in Logan County, W.Va. The permit was issued four years ago and since then Arch Coal, which provides 16% of America’s supply, has followed every jot and tittle of the rules it was told to operate under. It didn’t matter.

And here you thought you lived in a free country.

Silly you. You don’t get to vote on bureaucratic directives, nor are the bureaucrats themselves elected.

You will be assimilated. Because those in power yearn to control these bureaucracies themselves, and so they have very little motivation to do away with them. In fact, their survival is a bipartisan compromise!

Now, sure, many GOPers will once in a while take a symbolic swipe at these bureaucracies and their ever-expanding power. But in the end, they just keep growing.

It is the way of the federal Leviathan. Us? We’re just its plankton.