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a CITIZEN JOURNALIST spends his Saturday enjoying life in Obama's socialist America

me: “Hey. I see that you have half my Big Mac and super-sized fries.”

stranger at the table next to me: “Beg your pardon?”

me: “No worries. Just wrap up my portion to go, would you? And throw me the keys to our Escalade? I have to go pick up my fair share of the Treadclimbers from Dick’s and then swing by Dairy Queen for some of the people’s large Butterfinger Blizzard!”

14 Replies to “a CITIZEN JOURNALIST spends his Saturday enjoying life in Obama's socialist America”

  1. McGehee says:

    Don’t forget to pick up your share of The People’s Inventory™ at Sid’s Liquor™.

  2. Slartibartfast says:

    Speaking of which, when do I get my fair share of time on Teh People’s Captains of Crush #2?

  3. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Now Now, your derangement is showing again

    If this was a real socialist America. There would have been 5 cops, 10 secret policemen and 15 government bureaucrats to divide the big mac a fries among themselves, beat both of your asses bloody and then disappear you into a gulag.

    It’s this kind of over the top rhetoric that keeps people from taking you seriously.

  4. Jeff G. says:

    I should have thought it was the promises of violence.

    Speaking of which, this is day — what, 14, 15? No cease and desist letter.

  5. Jeff G. says:

    I’m going to take a nap. Later today I’m going to try to get a 30# blob up by the face. I’ll shoot a short vid of the attempt.

    As for the people’s CoC 2, you can have it when you pry it from my cold, dead, official close hands.

  6. LBascom says:

    Tools of the socialist state.

  7. Bob Reed says:

    Captains of Crush is a great name for a grip strength workout tool company.

  8. Seth says:

    Now, now…socialism means never having to ask for what’s yours. And unicorns!

  9. Slartibartfast says:

    As for the people’s CoC 2, you can have it when you pry it from my cold, dead, official close hands.

    DEATH THREAT? Are you threatening to kill yourself, Godlstein?

  10. Jeff G. says:

    Are they still using the “Godlstein” bit so that I don’t come harass them with my crazy?

  11. Pablo says:

    So, I’m watching the Red Sox get demolished by the Rangers, and an ad comes on telling me that Charlie Sheen is appearing at Foxwoods on his “Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour. And then I see this.

    I pretty much have to go now, don’t I?

  12. Slartibartfast says:

    I haven’t been paying attention, really. That would require that I sift through mountains of teh stoopid.

  13. LBascom says:

    Mark Steyn makes the pathetic funny.

    So, having agreed to be the Libyan Liberation Movement Air Force, we’re also happy to serve as the Qaddafi Last-Stand Air Force. Say what you like about Barack Obama, but it’s rare to find a leader so impeccably multilateralist he’s willing to participate in both sides of a war. It doesn’t exactly do much for holding it under budget, but it does ensure that for once we’ve got a sporting chance of coming out on the winning side. If a coalition plane bombing Qaddafi’s forces runs into a coalition plane bombing the rebel forces, are they allowed to open fire on each other? Or would that exceed the U.N. resolution?

    As they say, read the whole thing.

  14. McGehee says:

    Reading about that stage… thing… I have this strange foreboding sense Charlie is auditioning to play Serge A. Storms, if anyone ever puts Tim Dorsey’s manic anti-hero into a movie.

    Which, I couldn’t hack that.

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