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a post that explores what life would be like should we as a country write in — and subsequently elect — nothing but rutabagas, 2

“I have this one obese, nosy neighbor who keeps threatening to go before the city council to petition for a law that would make it illegal for me to call her a fat-assed busybody. But I don’t think she’ll get very far. What with the city council being comprised entirely of rutabagas.

“– Which are root vegetables, by the way. And so have no thumbs. Thank Christ.”

25 Replies to “a post that explores what life would be like should we as a country write in — and subsequently elect — nothing but rutabagas, 2”

  1. Abe Froman says:

    They do have thumbs if one applies the proper Mr. Potatohead pieces. It worked for me on a yam anyway.

  2. Jeff G. says:

    Well, they still can’t sign anything. Which is all that really matters, Abe.

    I don’t begrudge them their desire to look the part. So long as they keep the rest of the bargain.

  3. agile_dog says:

    I would think that the cogs of goverment would turn even slower with rutabagas in charge.

    But then, they (the rutabagas) might think the cogs remind them of a Cuisnart food processor, and ban them entirely.

  4. newrouter says:

    i saw an image of mo’ beheading budda in a turnip once

  5. Slartibartfast says:

    I’m not sure what Jeff has against rutabagas. They’re one of my 12 favorite root vegetables, right after parsnips and turnips.

  6. LBascom says:

    Guess which broke ass, democrat controlled state not only passed card check, but also wants to raise the minimum wage. When there is 14% unemployment.

    Hint: the state could benefit with more rutabagas and less fruits and nuts.

  7. newrouter says:

    speaking of fat-assed busybody

    Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor is hosting a reception at the Supreme Court today for various opponents of the proposed Pebble Mine project in Alaska. Politico’s Morning Energy reports that one of the attendees will be the Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, Lisa Jackson. And I have heard that Jackson will be speaking to the group.

    Jackson’s conduct is grossly improper. Environmental pressure groups have petitioned the EPA to deny a Clean Water Act permit for the mine before the company developing it has even applied for the permit. Appearing at what is essentially a pep rally for those opposing the mine means that Jackson has already taken sides in the bitter political and legal dispute.

    link

  8. newrouter says:

    also rutabagas with moussa koussa is a Libyan delicacy

  9. cranky-d says:

    I don’t see Jeff as hating rutabagas at all. I’m pretty sure the point is that rutabagas would do a much better job of governing than what we have now.

    Part of the problem is that politicians spend too much time in session and not enough time getting yelled at by their constituents. The less time they actually meet, the less damage they can do.

  10. newrouter says:

    squid™rutabagas when pitch forks and tar are not enough

  11. eleven says:

    I will only vote for Harvard rutabagas. And then I will eat them.

  12. newrouter says:

    rutabagas in the wh might be improvement

    NATO’s now threatening to bomb Libya’s rebels

  13. John Bradley says:

    Part of the problem is that politicians spend too much time in session and not enough time getting yelled at by their constituents. The less time they actually meet, the less damage they can do.

    Indeed. Gives them the false notion that their job is to get along with those other cocksuckers in Congress, and disregard the will of the (cocksuckers) that put them in office in the first place.

  14. JD says:

    I like parsnips. Parsnip puree is awesome.

  15. Spiny Norman says:

    Testing…

  16. McGehee says:

    It’s all well and good to be against teh rutabaga hate, until a bunch of ’em move into your neighborhood and start bullying the poor peaceable carrots and radishes.

    I wouldn’t want my niece to marry one either. Is that so wrong?

  17. Spiny Norman says:

    OK, I give up.

  18. Squid says:

    Parsnips are just albino carrots. And everyone knows that albinos can’t be trusted.

    Stick with rutabagas. They won’t do you wrong!

  19. LTC John says:

    Personally, I’d vote for a bunch of carrots m’self.

  20. cranky-d says:

    Keratinists!

  21. Blake says:

    Yeah, but how do we know rutabagas wouldn’t let all that power change them? I mean, after all, they’re just rutabagas and the sweet siren song of power can be very seductive.

  22. McGehee says:

    You know who can resist the allure of power? Potatoes.

    That’s ’cause they’ve got the power inside of ’em. They can, like, run clocks and shit.

    Well, they can run clocks. I’ve never seen a potato take a shit.

  23. Stephanie says:

    Of course not. Can you take a shit when all eyes are on you?

  24. B. Moe says:

    How come if you say tom-ah-toe instead of tom-a-toe people think you are sophisticated but if you say po-tah-toe instead of po-ta-toe they think you are fucking retarded?

  25. Stephanie says:

    Bmoe, you ready to get back on the links? Anytime you want, just let me know.

Comments are closed.