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King Obama’s America

What you can’t have:

1. incandescent bulbs
2. high-flow shower heads
3. large capacity flush toilets
4. cupcakes / bake sales / pizza parties / vending machines at school
5. oil drilling/exploration/refineries
6. salt
7. health care choice
8. spilled milk
9. unregulated farmer’s market produce

What you can have:

1. a fresh new needle every time you want to shoot heroin into the webbing of your toes.
2.

62 Replies to “King Obama’s America”

  1. newrouter says:

    seiu tee shirts

  2. Darleen says:

    If you’re a pimp, you have a right to have your girls (underage or not) get scraped at taxpayer expense. Obama says any objection is just “manufactured” outrage.

  3. Mueller says:

    FYI
    If you hit the dumpster behind the free clinic you can score all the needles you can use. Just boil em before you use em. Also. The ones for insulin are too small.

  4. Blake says:

    A “Blame Bush” card which allows you to avoid responsibility for current problems.

  5. alppuccino says:

    Less temptation to eat ribs because the queen is going to hog them all.

  6. Squid says:

    They do take care of their own, don’t they?

  7. Spiny Norman says:

    Obama says any objection is just “manufactured” outrage.

    And then Rachel Maddow will get red in the face and start shouting.

    {O_O}

  8. Carin says:

    The Obama administration has designated intravenous needle exchanges as a drug treatment program, allowing federal money set aside to treat addictions to be used to distribute syringes to narcotics users.

    I say we give addicts all the heroin they want. Kinda like how the dad who catches jr. smoking a cigg behind the garages makes him smoke the whole pack.

    I say we have that drug user problem under control in no time.

  9. Abe Froman says:

    People stupid enough to use heroin should just die. Why does Obama hate Darwinism?

  10. Alec Leamas says:

    2. Arugula, whether you like it or not.

  11. LBascom says:

    3. foreskin.

  12. scooter says:

    4. Condoms

    Unrelated: should smegma in San Francisco be referred to as “government cheese”?

  13. Pablo says:

    5. Sodomy

    6. Abortion

    Those are really the only rights that matter.

  14. LBascom says:

    7. Some of your earnings. Think of it as a gift from government.

  15. Carin says:

    8. Two mommies and/or two daddies.

  16. dicentra says:

    BUT WILL THERE BE PIE????

  17. LBascom says:

    9. An 8th grade education, in 12th grade.

  18. Ernst Schreiber says:

    10. A 12th grade education in 16th grade.

  19. LBascom says:

    11. Delta Smelt

  20. LBascom says:

    12. Bread and circuses.

  21. panther_girl says:

    Grrrr. Not sure what changed recently, but my pharmacy will no longer let me purchase syringes to go with my injectable migraine medication unless I have a separate prescription for the syringes (even though I have the prescription for the DHE, and it is useless without the syringes). Why is it that folks who have (a) a drug problem and (b) no money can get free needles to further their habit? But an upstanding middle-class citizen with a script for an injectable medication (that I have been using for years) can no longer PAY for syringes to administer the medication without jumping through additional hoops?! Grrr…

    Just one more way this administration makes it really difficult not to be a conspiracy theorist.

  22. newrouter says:

    hope and change™

  23. AJB says:

    “I want more babies to be born with AIDS.”

    –“pro life” conservatives

    Since the AIDS epidemic began in 1981, injection drug use has played an increasing role in the spread of HIV and AIDS, accounting for more than 60 percent of AIDS cases in certain areas in 1995. To date, nearly 40 percent of the 652,000 cases of AIDS reported in the U.S. have been linked to injection drug use. More than 70 percent of HIV infections among women of childbearing age are related either directly or indirectly to injection drug use. And more than 75 pecent of babies diagnosed with HIV/AIDS were infected as a direct or indirect result of injection drug use by a parent.

    http://archive.hhs.gov/news/press/1998pres/980420a.html

  24. Ernst Schreiber says:

    14. Lebensunwertes Leben

    Oh wait. Wrong List

    Lebensunwertes Leben end of life “counseling” (Don’t worry we know you’ll make the right decision)

  25. AJB says:

    People stupid enough to use heroin should just die. Why does Obama hate Darwinism?

    And here I thought it was progressives who were the eugenicists. Why did Glenn Beck lie to me?

  26. Ernst Schreiber says:

    And here I thought progressives were all nuanced and hep to teh irony. How does AJB remember to breathe?

  27. JD says:

    Fuck you, AJB. You and Yelverton might be the 2 biggest fucking douchenozzle weinerholes ever to play on the innertubes. A bucket full of smegma is 8 times as smart as you, and 12 times as amusing. Your hate filled disingenuous violence inducing rhetoric has been tiresome since the first time you opened your piehole. Now, run along and play with Zanfir and the skin flute.

  28. Ernst Schreiber says:

    You know what’s so stupid only a fucking douchenozzle weinerhole would believe it?

    Thinking that handing out free needles will have any more success in preventing HIV infections than handing out free condoms has had in preventing pregnancy.

  29. LBascom says:

    I heard circumcision was a good way to combat AID’s.

    Just saying…

  30. Ernst Schreiber says:

    15. We can haz orgy-porgy, yes?

  31. Ernst Schreiber says:

    A-Ha! PROOF that AIDS is part of the international zionist conspiracy!!!!111!!!!11!

  32. LBascom says:

    16. All the free internet pron a person can take.

  33. LBascom says:

    17. Ritalin, to smooth out them damn rowdy little boys.

  34. LBascom says:

    18. High speed rail!!

  35. Jeff G. says:

    “I want more babies to be born with AIDS.”

    This is how AJB sees the world. “If I’m gonna shoot up, I should probably buy my own fucking needles” never even crossed his mind as a legitimate “pro-life” conservative response.

    I bet the government ties his shoes for him.

  36. Blake says:

    I see AJB labors under the illusion drug users are all into sanitary and shit like that.

    AJB, I’ll share a little information with you: I’ve been around middle class drug users when they were injecting themselves. Sanitary needle use is the last thing on their mind.

    I mention middle class drug users and their lack of sanitation because they are people old enough, smart enough and educated enough to know better than to share needles. Guess what? These middle class drug users shared needles anyway.

    You’re a goddamn stupid fool, AJB.

  37. LBascom says:

    You guy’s may be being too harsh. I mean, you probably just don’t feel as deeply as he.

    It’s ‘cuz his superiority and stuff…

  38. Ernst Schreiber says:

    19. A polite jack-booted thug stomping you in the face forever civilly.

  39. “Thank goodness we give out free condoms to the junkies so they won’t get pregnant. Because someone who injects themselves with drugs bought on the street would never, ever indulge in risky behavior like unprotected sex. Goodness, if they did that, they might get pregnant. Maybe we should give them clean needles. That way they won’t get pregnant.”

  40. alppuccino says:

    Please let me echo the absolute FUCK YOU!! to the seeping pus-filled hemorrhoid that is AJB. Little does he know that George W started the largest program to fight AIDS in Africa and the only time his fucking ball-lick dream-catcher Obama even thinks about it is when he wants to take credit.

    So go eat your own shit AJB because you’re an asshole.

    (the incoherence is used to highlight the anger)

  41. LBascom says:

    20. AID’s!

  42. Abe Froman says:

    And here I thought it was progressives who were the eugenicists. Why did Glenn Beck lie to me?

    Death is a natural consequence of their choice as individuals to use heroin. Free will!

    The eugenicists in the progressive movement weren’t Darwinian in that way. They were grotesquely proactive. They wanted to sterilize dull witted people like yourself who are of no value to society. And in your case, well, they certainly do give us plenty to think about.

  43. newrouter says:

    # obama zombies

  44. bh says:

    I have a feeling that a sterilized AJB and a non-sterilized AJB would have roughly similar odds at reproducing.

  45. alppuccino says:

    When AJB takes a poop, he reproduces.

  46. bh says:

    I stand corrected.

  47. panther_girl says:

    A very interesting book that talks about where much of the fault lies for the spread of AIDS in our country is Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student by an anonymous (for obvious reasons) M.D.

    If the gay and lesbian community hadn’t wanted to protect gay men from the stigma of AIDS, it would have been a lot easier to protect them (and the rest of society) from the actual disease. This message is brought home to me each time the news reports a case of someone with tuberculosis being quarantined.

  48. Bob Reed says:

    Obama; “L’État, c’est moi!” He’ll decide what will be and what will not; which laws will be enforced and which will not; which companies will profit, and which will not; who is allowed to be wealthy, and who is not…

    With his Solomon-like Brilliance!, Judgement!, and Superior Temperment! he alone will determine all things under him. Except for food…

    That’s the exclusive purview of “Michelle Antoinette”, that haute-coture fashion-plate extraordinaire!; parading around with her magnificent arms and a booty that needs a back-up alarm from a semi shouting, “LET THEM EAT ARUGULA!“, while noshing on gourmet barbequed ribs…

    ***

    But I’m waaaaay off base. Obama’s not really like Louis Le Grand; Louis had balls!

  49. Makewi says:

    Typical AJB. Assume that the thing you hope will happen IS happening. Do free needles decrease the number of HIV infections due to infected needles?

  50. guinsPen says:

    No, you shut-up.

  51. Pablo says:

    “I want more babies to be born with AIDS.”

    –”pro life” conservatives

    No, you misunderstand, AJB. I want junkies to die before they have babies. Let’s just legalize it! And they can buy their own damned needles.

  52. Pablo says:

    AJB, I’ll share a little information with you: I’ve been around middle class drug users when they were injecting themselves. Sanitary needle use is the last thing on their mind.

    What? People who shoot heroin are not primarily focused on hygiene? Really?

    You could have knocked me over with a feather.

  53. Blake says:

    Pablo,

    Let’s just say being around people shooting up convinced me that taking my already questionable habits any further wasn’t a good idea. The side effects of injecting drugs that were cut with questionable materials was quite the eye opener.

  54. newrouter says:

    ot if you like piano playing:

    THELONIOUS MONK – Blue Monk

  55. Danger says:

    Fuck you, AJB….

    Classic JD delivery!
    Although, I think you had him at Fuck you ;^)

  56. Pablo says:

    Blake, I’ve seen a few things myself. I feel ya.

  57. Abe Froman says:

    THELONIOUS MONK – Blue Monk

    Why does talk of hopheads always end up at jazz? Monk was just holding it for a friend when they busted him.

  58. SDN says:

    AJB, I didn’t know you were a Creationist! After all, if you believed in Evolution, you would realize that it doesn’t work unless genes that hinder survival have a mechanism for removing them from the gene pool. And heroin OD is a lot less painful than being eaten by a sabretooth….

  59. BuddyPC says:

    4. Blake posted on 2/24 @ 9:17 am
    A “Blame Bush” card which allows you to avoid responsibility for current problems.

    Not anymore. The “Blame Bush” card, like the “racist” card and your “buy-ten-get-one-car-wash-free” card has been fully stamped up.

    Referencing Bush, by blame or otherwise, is only reminding everyone how much better life was from 2002 through 2007ish. And the big shots of the Left recognize this. Hence the sudden quietness and diversions towards the likes of “the rhetoric,” Palin, and the Kochs. Never mind the leapfrogging back to revised Reagan.

    On a similar, interesting note, the new talking point making the rounds of the post-grad-coffee-house progressive set is the necessity of US military intervention in Libya.

Comments are closed.