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Top 10 Lynndie England Excuses and/or Dinosaurs

10.  Pachycephalosaurus

9.  “I thought those were corn dogs. And I love corn dogs.”

8.   “Wait, you said ‘secure and detain’? Because it sounded like you said ‘put together a circle jerk, film it, then burn it onto a DVD.'”

7.   Carcharodontosaurus

6.   “Oh, I see: it’s okay to liberate Iraqis, but try liberating a few American nipples and all of sudden you’ve committed a crime…?”

5.   “I thought those were salamis. And I love salamis.”

4.   Hylaeosaurus

3.   “I know it might seem strange to non-military personnel, but a standard PsyOps technique is to get wildly fucked by multiple partners, photograph it, then blame the ‘chain of command.’ For some reason, that really really demoralizes incarcerated Ba’athists.”

2.   “Abu Ghraib, grab Abu…it’s a common mistake for a dyslexic. Did I mention that I’m a dyslexic? ”

1.   (Tie) Tyrannosaurus Rex; “I tripped and fell and accidentally landed on some erect penises.”

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10 Replies to “Top 10 Lynndie England Excuses and/or Dinosaurs”

  1. Marble says:

    You forgot the esteemed Lickalottapus and the venerable Megasoreass Rex

    And does anyone else have a problem with PW not remembering who you are? I have to fill it in every time.

    I can’t determine if it’s technical glitch or if I’m really just that insignificant…

  2. mikeski says:

    What, no Stegosaurus?  Jeez, you American Dinosaur voters are pathetic, always voting for the cute ones, not the dinosaurs with real talent.

  3. David Crawford says:

    Well, as they always say, you can take the girl out of West Virginia but you can’t take the …

  4. Jeff G says:

    Marble—no one can figure out why the cookie doesn’t seem to work.  The code is correct, so far as anyone can tell.  It’s a mystery.

    We were hoping MT 3.0 would fix the problem.  But screw that.

  5. Erik says:

    You forgot the Ghraibyerankylosaurus.

    — Erik

  6. Skillzy says:

    To paraphrase an old Navy saying, anyone who’d have sex with that girl is too lazy to jack off.

  7. Beck says:

    And the winner of the “Silliest things I’ve read in the context of the occupation of Iraq” award goes to: Another Lawmaker, with this memorable line:

    “Almost everybody was naked all the time,” another lawmaker said.

  8. Bloggerhead says:

    Jeff,

    Regarding no. 3, and only from what I hear about one video, I’d say chain of command is an apt description, if not a rationale or mitigation.

  9. David Ross says:

    “Wottawhorus” was my first reaction…

  10. David Crawford says:

    Maybe this was an inteligence gathering mechanism.  They’d tell the Iraqi being interrogated:

    “Tell us want we to know or we’ll make you screw that skank-ho.”

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