Deadbeat neighbor (pointing): “That your newspaper?”
Me: “Yes it is.”
Deadbeat neighbor: “Think maybe I can borrow the sports section when you’re finished?”
Me: “No. But I’ll be happy to lend you a quarter.”
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Are you living in a low-rent area?
Yes. Me and my trophy bride.
Perhaps he’s just big on recycling. You could offer to let him have the paper after your bird is done with it …