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Honestly

I thought this was a parody when I first read it. I mean, seriously — did this guy not see Gran Torino?

Also, some questions: how do I go about getting a job as an “antiracist essayist”? Would such a gig require me to give up my belief in the virtues of a colorblind society? Would I have to pretend to be part of Eminem’s entourage? Do I get to say “my nizzle” with any frequency?

Because I am so there, my brothers — especially if it means I get paid to drop a shitload of “y’alls” with my knowledge, grab my dick through my super baggie jeans, and castigate The White Man from my position as … well, a castigating white man with a bunch of cartoonish affectations and a huge collection of Nicks jerseys.

Don’t hate me ’cause I’m dope, cuz.

Racists.

(thanks to Alec)

109 Replies to “Honestly”

  1. Slartibartfast says:

    “One of the brilliant voices of our time”
    -Molefi Kete Asante (AKA Arthur Lee Smith, Jr.)

  2. cranky-d says:

    The left does projection really well. I guess that’s all they know.

  3. Carin says:

    That guy looked awfully white to me.

    I’d like to say I read it all, but I got sick (and bored) of the trite cliches and one sentence paragraphs.

  4. Carin says:

    Git ‘er Done.”
    “Cowboy up,” or whatever other stupid-ass catch phrase strikes your fancy.

    I prefer Man-up. It’s kinda sexy, in a patriarchal way.

  5. Joe says:

    Being white is a state of mind, not a state of how much melanin you have in your skin.

    It helps to stay on the Dem-Prog plantation too.

  6. mojo says:

    How about “Bite me”, slick?

  7. DarthRove says:

    Word to ya mother, dawg. That cracka is dope!, yawl.

  8. JD says:

    That simply cannot be real. Yo.

  9. Slartibartfast says:

    one sentence paragraphs

    He does seem addicted to those, doesn’t he? It wouldn’t be so bad if those one-sentence paragraphs were the lengthy sentences that Jeff horks up from time to time; some of those are a paragraph unto themselves. But a one-sentence paragraph that is only six words long? Dude, that is so 2005.

    What Tim Wise is saying, in essence, is that the ever-replenishing (and, for now, monotonically increasing) population of older people in the US are going to have their votes trumped by young people who don’t vote.

    Got it. Thanks for the feedback. I’ll try and remember this a few decades from now, when I’m really really old, but still voting.

  10. SDN says:

    Well, we’ve found nishi a husband……

  11. JD says:

    Did he really mock silly catch phrases, while using about 83927492018492 himself?

    You would think that an anti-racist essayist would not be an overt and objective hate filled bigot. But, you would be wrong.

  12. scooter says:

    Dude probably appreciates the traffic. I can’t resolve the link (timeout!) but really not too worried about it. The URL itself tells me all I need to know (“white… temper tantrum”).

    Democratic politicians and their supports are embarassingly immature, yet we had the temper tantrum. The ghost of honky Canuck high-school dropout Peter Jennings nods in approval from the grave.

  13. Carin says:

    He does seem addicted to those, doesn’t he? It wouldn’t be so bad if those one-sentence paragraphs were the lengthy sentences that Jeff horks up from time to time; some o

    I’m guessing he does it because he’s used to talking (and writing) for really, really stupid people.

    You know, people who need some pasty, middle age white guy to come in and explain how racist they are.

  14. Wise’s site is down I guess, the page won’t open for me. In the ago, I e-mailed a couple of questions to him about his book, White Like Me. Oddly enough, the guy was a nice dude and gave the typical leftie talking points. Dumb as a barrel of hair, but nice. I heard he gave up the being of the nice here recently, though.

  15. scooter says:

    Poster named “Paul Mitchell” makes a reference to a barrel of hair. Accident? I think not!

  16. Bob Reed says:

    P.O.S. wanna-be, pandering to that branch of the identity politics crowd that finds reason to celebrate! in any and all affectations of what they call “urban culture”. Like that punk Eminem…

    But he down wif hiz peoples dawg! Those crackahz jus’ h8tin’ on muh-man Barack, yo…

    I guess they live to prove that they are so in-tune with the inferiority of traditional “whitebread” America that they go to the extreme and adopt tha mannerism, speech patterns, and belief systems of another group. And since the race peddlers have done all they can to glorify “urban culture”, no matter how vile the practice, it’s no surprise that they become wanna-bees.

    Seriously, when do worlds collide? When, for instance, do all the feminists start to speak up and denounce all of the rap videos that either have guys at strip clubs steadily slingin’ hundreds on the stage, while the “dancer” looks at the beatifically; or talkin’ about “back that ass up” or using them in the manner of the dreaded sex object?

    But I guess the 2008 Democrat campaign proved that in the identity politics grievance card deck black trumps female; ever time, playah!

  17. Bob Reed says:

    Oh, and I couldn’t read the whole thing either. I felt my I.Q. decreasing proprotionately to the number of lines I’d read. If I hadn’t stopped when I did, well, I’d have to take up rapping…

  18. JD says:

    That was the funniest column I have read in a while. Fucking hysterical.

  19. scooter says:

    Unless you count Clinton as a “black man” (and apparently some do; for the sake of argument I do not) then it’s enough to be a (D) to trump female. Where was all the feminist outrage over Clinton’s various sexual abuses of power?

  20. Abe Froman says:

    I was so moved by his essay I’d like to send him a token of my appreciation.

  21. Squid says:

    He’s no Herbert Kornfeld, that’s for sure.

  22. Ric Locke says:

    Like several others, the link won’t load for me — “Internal Server Error”.

    Never mind. I find that sort of thing hopeful, in an ironic sort of way. It means they still don’t have the first glimmer of a clue as to what it’s all about, and that, in turn, means we can continue making gains. You’ve heard the phrase “under the radar”? It isn’t really that. It’s that they’ve got their radars boresighted in on irrelevant crap, and we can operate freely out beyond the ground clutter.

    Regards,
    Ric

  23. Carin says:

    I’m guessing the essay is either being lampooned by the right, or linked by all the lefties.

  24. h0mi says:

    Those of you who failed to reach the web site… getting a 404 message was better reading than that tripe.

  25. Alec Leamas says:

    “An Open Letter to the White Right, On the Occasion of Your Recent, Successful Temper Tantrum”

    The unintentional comedy of the whole affair was that he writes the thing with an air of distemper about, well, not getting what he wants. And then he accuses the “White Right” of being immature because they don’t like having their shit taken and given to people who can’t manage to roll out of bed before noon simply because the latter demand it be done.

    Oh – he not only looks white, he’s half Jewish and half Scots. There’s a cheap joke in there somewhere but I’d best leave that to others.

  26. Slartibartfast says:

    He’s broken free of the Scottish/Jewish stereotypes, only to be land a gig doing violence to a caricature.

    It’s embarrassing, really.

  27. Alec Leamas says:

    You, on the other hand, need know nothing whatsoever about them. And this, will surely prove fatal to you in the end. For it means you will not know their resolve. Will not fear it, as you should.

    I like this part especially. You don’t know the strength of their resolve, which apparently doesn’t countenance collecting a free frozen turkey and making it to the polls once in every two years.

  28. dicentra says:

    ‘Cuz there is nothing even slightly original about you.

    Who says “original” is the goal? Why should it be?

    This is the problem with Progressives: they started with a false reading of Darwin that equates “evolution” with “improvement” when it means nothing of the kind. (It means “adaptation to changing external conditions,” for those trollez who need it spelled out.)

    Then they observed the actual progress in technological development, which actually does improve (as long as the society producing the technology doesn’t fall apart), and conflated it with how societies must necessarily change (cf. Gene Roddenberry).

    They therefore equate “original” or “new” with “better,” and “old” with “worse,” using no other metric than chronological placement to judge something. (Just don’t remind them that their ideas can be found in the Old Testament, or that Marx is more than a century old.)

    Check it out, proggs: According to the Darwinian definition of “evolution,” you can’t compare any two living organisms and call one of them “more highly evolved” than the other, because if your species is alive right now, it is exactly as “evolved” as all of the other living species. Horseshoe crabs are “primitive,” all right, but they’ve “evolved” (adapted) for a helluva lot longer than we humans have.

    And yet they’ve still got the brains of creamed corn, whereas we landed on the moon.

    Old and new mean nothing: all that matters are results.

  29. Spiny Norman says:

    …And this, will surely prove fatal to you in the end. For it means you will not know their resolve. Will not fear it, as you should.

    I like this part especially. You don’t know the strength of their resolve, which apparently doesn’t countenance collecting a free frozen turkey and making it to the polls once in every two years.

    Vote? Ha! Sounds to me like he and his fellow over-indulged whitebread wannabes are gonna trash another Starbucks…

  30. Alec Leamas says:

    Someone ought to tell him that Tim Wise is his slave name. I’d like to see what he comes up with to replace it.

  31. dicentra says:

    Nihil novum sub sole and junk.

  32. Spiny Norman says:

    Did he really mock silly catch phrases, while using about 83927492018492 himself?

    In much the same way his tripe about a “white right temper tantrum” is as a mature as a 3-year old pitching a fit in the supermarket…

  33. Rob Crawford says:

    Anyone else struck at how the lefties try to make EVERYTHING about race?

    We talk about liberty, the rule of law, about avoiding the mistakes that have taken so many nations down the banana republic road, and they respond with babbling about “race”.

    What causes this disconnect? Is it their education brainwashing? Are they even listening?

  34. MC Ren says:

    slingin’ hundreds on the stage

    Dayum, cracka. It’s called makin it rain.

  35. Obstrperous Infidel says:

    No, Rob. Silly unserious people like tim wise are not listening. They cannot listen. They haven’t the capacity to listen. Race is simple. Tim wise is simple. It’s easy.

  36. Spiny Norman says:

    Those of you who failed to reach the web site… getting a 404 message was better reading than that tripe.

    He really is a hateful piece of work, isn’t he?

    DIE, WHITEY! DIE!

    Such is the ever-so-tolerant Left…

  37. Rob Crawford says:

    No, Rob. Silly unserious people like tim wise are not listening. They cannot listen. They haven’t the capacity to listen. Race is simple. Tim wise is simple. It’s easy.

    Yet they insist on lecturing us.

    What makes them think we’ll listen to them a moment longer than it takes to realize they have no idea what we’re talking about?

  38. BuddyPC says:

    Comment by Joe on 11/3 @ 10:15 am #
    Being white is a state of mind, not a state of how much melanin you have in your skin.
    It helps to stay on the Dem-Prog plantation too.

    That’s for sure. I read his “About” page. At the end it reveals he lives in……….Nashville.
    Like “pro-union” folk who can’t be bothered to support unions by actually buying Chevys, and the pro-mosque islamophilic set selling everyone else out while hinting “how far away” doesn’t extend to their own upper west side neighborhoods, I’m guessing there aren’t too many home-boys busting caps at 3AM through the abandoned property and vacant overgrown lots of brother Wise’s personal “community.”

  39. JD says:

    Nashville? Maybe serr8d should try to get Tim and Yelverton to meet him out for dinner, compare and contrast their hate.

  40. A fine scotch says:

    I’m thinking of catching up in Ft. Collins tomorrow. Wanna join me?

    http://www.timwise.org/2010/11/ft-collins-co-110410-colorado-state-university-2/

  41. Jim in KC says:

    Also, question: how do I go about getting a job as an “antiracist essayist”…?

    I don’t know the “how,” exactly, but it does look like the performance standards are pretty low, so there’s that.

  42. A fine scotch says:

    41 should say,

    “I’m thinking of catching Tim up in Ft. Collins…”

  43. Alec Leamas says:

    “I’m thinking of catching Tim up in Ft. Collins…”

    We can all sing “Ice Ice Baby” – softly – while he speaks. “Allright Stop. Collaborate and listen.”

  44. JD says:

    Afine scotch – wish I could join you, that would be comical.

  45. Alec Leamas says:

    Check out his young, Urban thinker pose while he was a young fly cat:

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ufCikM8JCvU/SSiVFzZCYHI/AAAAAAAADpE/HqiGDQaDwkI/s320/timwisephoto2.jpg

    I think he may have been an extra in a few In Living Color episodes.

  46. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    I’m thinking this doofus is more along the “Snow” line. At least Ice has a discernible skill.

  47. Ira says:

    rubbish, and not even good rubbish. Sounds like the white guy who thinks he’ll get to be in charge when the minorities take over.

  48. largenfirm says:

    Looks like his site is down – just what is the phraseology for the PW equivalent of an “Instalanche”, ala Instapundit?

  49. McGehee says:

    just what is the phraseology for the PW equivalent of an “Instalanche”, ala Instapundit?

    Cockslap?

  50. Slartibartfast says:

    His site isn’t down; it’s just flaccid. Keep trying.

  51. DarthRove says:

    just what is the phraseology for the PW equivalent of an “Instalanche”, ala Instapundit?

    or “mushroom bruising.”

  52. Bill M says:

    He calls himself an educator too. Why would anyone let that psycho within shouting distance of children?

  53. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    To beat the ever living shit out of him once he inevitably goes to far?

  54. B Moe says:

    “Do you hear it?

    The sound of your empire dying? Your nation, as you knew it, ending, permanently?”

    Is it okay to question his patriotism now?

  55. BuddyPC says:

    48. Comment by Ira on 11/3 @ 1:21 pm #
    rubbish, and not even good rubbish. Sounds like the white guy who thinks he’ll get to be in charge when the minorities take over.

    Like Baltar, he will, that other trustee.

  56. JD says:

    BMoe – I noticed that too. It was a theme.

  57. Alec Leamas says:

    Is it okay to question his patriotism now?

    I think hatin’ on ‘merica is the new patriotism. Word to ya mutha.

  58. Squid says:

    Holy crap. I finally caved in and checked out the linked “essay.” Wow. I think this was my favorite part:

    And those who suffer know how to suffer, which is to say they know how to survive: a skill that is in short supply amid the likes of you.

    Really? I mean, really? Cracker, pleez!

    I mean, c’mon — DJ Jazzy Trevor, Original Gangsta of tha Food Court is lecturing us on survival, resiliency, and self-reliance? That’s just too good.

    And then he closes with his own personal fetish about how awesome it’s going to be when all the productive people die off. ‘Cuz a parasite’s life is so much better after it kills its host.

    This is the reality-based community. A self-loathing rich white boy who lectures the non-self-loathing about race. An angry-studies major lecturing businessmen and engineers about math. A dyed-in-the-wool redistributionist fantasizing about a day when there’s nobody to redistribute from.

    Parody is dead.

  59. Squid says:

    And I see that he’s disabled comments on his site, because people were being nasty to him.

    Gangsta.

  60. Alec Leamas says:

    Yeah Squid, it’s like a cornucopia of stupid. You could pretty much just pick a sentence, or just pick a phrase – and riff on it for a few paragraphs.

  61. Alec Leamas says:

    And I see that he’s disabled comments on his site, because people were being nasty to him.

    Gangsta.

    I dropped dis wis-dum on his ass like a 9 milly at 10:30 in the A.M (EST):

    Sir, I would just like to point out that some of your “words” – they are not actual words. It sort of makes taking in your thesis a bit difficult.

    It’s still awaiting moderation.

  62. Jeff G. says:

    I think it’s time to bring back FunkMeister Eckhart, the Thuringian Heretic of Mystical Poon, so he can play the dozens with angry wigger T-bone Wonderbread up at 8 Mile.

    Gangsta style.

  63. irongrampa says:

    This asshole is NOT an American–he merely wastes space in MY country.

    And I’d feel perfectly free to spit in his face, should we ever encounter each other.

  64. Alec Leamas says:

    Iowahawk really needs to do something with this.

  65. Bob Reed says:

    …so he can play the dozens with angry wigger T-bone Wonderbread up at 8 Mile.

    Sorry JeffG, er, FunkMeister Eckhart, Thuringian Heretic of Mystical Poon, T-Bone Wonderbread is surely a non-hack punk that can’t hang…

  66. Bob Reed says:

    …so he can play the dozens with angry wigger T-bone Wonderbread up at 8 Mile.

    Challenge him to a dance-off too. I’m sure, with all your conditioning, that you can take him.

  67. OI says:

    Do it, Jeff. You may or may not want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that you know he exists, but Funkmeister Eckhart would do some hilariously funky damage to the little guy. Knee cap the bitch.

  68. Spiny Norman says:

    I think it’s time to bring back FunkMeister Eckhart, the Thuringian Heretic of Mystical Poon, so he can play the dozens with angry wigger T-bone Wonderbread up at 8 Mile.

    Gangsta style.

    Oh, yes. Doo eet!

    =^D

  69. JD says:

    I laugher harder every time I read it again.

  70. Frontman says:

    I’m with irongrampa-after I got past the amusement aspect, I was actually kind of pissed. Kiss my ass, Timmy.

  71. McGehee says:

    I didn’t click through. I already know it’s ts;dr

  72. geoffb says:

    one sentence paragraphs

    And those who suffer know how to suffer, which is to say they know how to survive: a skill that is in short supply amid the likes of you.

    137 characters. I blame Twitter.

  73. One minor pedantic note, it is Gran Torino.

  74. Of course, I can’t get the link to load, so maybe that’s part of he joke.

  75. Too bad his name isn’t Sam instead of Tim.

  76. McGehee says:

    76, that reminds me — does anyone know what became of the candidacy of Rich Whitney — or as some ballots named him, “Rich Whitey”…?

  77. RTO Trainer says:

    Dude. You crashed his server, Jeff!

  78. Eugene Robinson (TerryH) says:

    White Amerikkka reacts to the post-racial, post-partisan POTUS by throwing a tantrum at the polls.

     Racists.

  79. Jeff G. says:

    Does anyone even give credence to that kind of shit any more? I mean, it’s predictable as a sunrise.

    Get a new playbook, Eugene. Even some of the guilt-laden white liberals who make up the near entirety of your audience are getting bored with the one song you know.

  80. McGehee says:

    At least he didn’t blame it all on Rich Whitey.

  81. JD says:

    Eugene went at least 30 minutes at one point last night without calling me a racist. I think he was just resting.

  82. cranky-d says:

    It’s sad that someone has become such a knee-jerk victim that he cannot see the truth of things. The people who aren’t willing to criticize Obama about his policies and actions because he’s black are the true racists.

  83. Pablo says:

    But there’s something about the nature and tone of the most vitriolic attacks on the president that I believe is distinctive – and difficult to explain without asking whether race is playing a role.

    Eugene can’t blow his fucking nose without wondering whether race is a factor. He’s easily dismissed. It’s only the Washington Post, after all. It’s not like he’s writing for someone important, like Arianna.

  84. Pablo says:

    OK, so there’s a Frisch at Media Matters and it’s delusional? Will wonders never cease?

  85. pdbuttons says:

    i linked it and i thought it was well written
    and funny as hell!
    if he was serious, well, that’s his/her problem
    it’s’iowahawk grade spliff

  86. Loy tiene muy mal, hijo de Puta.

    Hahahahaha!!! This maricon tries to sound Hispanic, but can’t even spell or throw insults correctly. Pinche pendejo.

  87. By the way, does that pirujo know of all the Hispanic Republicans who were elected last night? Jaime Herrera, Bill Flores, Quico Canseco, Marco Rubio, David Rivera….and on and on. Yep, the GOP sure is screwed demographically. Baboso.

  88. Ric Locke says:

    #80: Get a new playbook, Eugene.

    I’m actually starting to find it a bit amusing, which is at least good for my blood pressure.

    He can’t get a new playbook, Jeff. American liberals had a real, century-grade if not millenium-grade triumph: convincing me and my fellows to at worst ameliorate, at best eliminate, institutional racism. That victory can’t be taken away from them, but in the long term, that spectacular a win can be worse for the winner than the loser. It’s resulted in the kind of ossification referred to in the military as “fighting the last war.” What they defeated was racism; therefore anything that opposes them must be racism.

    It doesn’t help that they’ve since adopted a rigid, “epistemically closed” philosophy that admits of no challenge — indeed, that adoption was the effect of winning. By now they have well-nigh totally lost the flexibility to adapt to a new and different challenge. This is why European Leftists like Sean Coleman (whom I linked earlier, on another thread) can come closer to figuring out what’s going on than almost any American leftoid — they didn’t defeat Southern racism, and consequently didn’t freeze their tactical manuals at that point or elevate their General Staff to just short of godhood.

    Eugene and his ilk (!) can not and will not figure out how it is that Florida crackers could admire an Alan West for his ideals and behavior, and even throw in a bit extra for overcoming adversity they know they’re at least partially responsible for; or how Texas rednecks could see a Hispanic as a fellow Texan whose ancestors might have fought beside Davy Crockett. It was hard enough for us, but our thinking patterns got forced out of their well-worn grooves by losing. They won, and can’t forget it.

    Regards,
    Ric

  89. SmokeVanThorn says:

    I didn’t know K Fed had a blog. Snap!

  90. Slartibartfast says:

    After spending most of the last few years honing his survival skillz in a relatively well-to-do (if property values around $600k can be considered well-to-do) neighborhood in Nashville, Mr. Wise finds it expedient to lecture us on the topic.

    What a fucking joke that guy is. Unselfconscious, ridiculous mis-taking wishful thinking for reality.

  91. JD says:

    Slartibartfast – unintended irony is always the richest, no?

  92. Slartibartfast says:

    mis-taking of, rather.

    Slartibartfast – unintended irony is always the richest, no?

    I have to think the guy’s doing it on purpose. It’s what you’d expect from a real brilliant voice of our time.

  93. DarthRove says:

    I have to think the guy’s doing it on purpose. It’s what you’d expect from a real brilliant voice of our time.

    Like dinner theater?

  94. Admiral Ackbar says:

    It’s a trap!

  95. Slartibartfast says:

    Tim’s wall is kind of trippy, in a completely deranged leftist kind of way.

    Seriously, he has many Republican friends.

  96. Willie's Cat says:

    Damn, and I thought I was butthurt…

  97. JD says:

    I would argue that it is performance art, but he seems so damn serious, which makes it even more funny. Add to that what Slarti noted above, and I am now leaning towards delusional. Him and Yelverton should get together.

  98. JD says:

    He and Yelverton …

  99. Slartibartfast says:

    Anyone else find it interesting that, while his Wikipedia entry says:

    Tim Wise (born October 4, 1968) is an American anti-racist activist and writer.

    the Google search link that leads to that Wikipedia article says:

    Tim Wise (born October 4, 1968) is an American anti-white activist and writer.

    Possibly the Wiki entry was updated, or possibly someone is having some fun at Tim’s expense.

  100. Slartibartfast says:

    Ah. That last bit.

    Sounds as if someone doesn’t like Mr. Wise very much, and is plaguing his Wikipedia entry.

    It’s one of the many things that I don’t like about Wikipedia: that any person can just shit all over you, anonymously & publicly.

  101. Abe Froman says:

    The sausage-making of Wikipedia gives me the creeps. But I use it all the time anyway.

  102. JD says:

    Yeah, people should not do that. they should post the truth, that he is a talentless hack, a white bred suburbanite with an urban affectation that he thinks give him some kind of credibility. they should note that he is a cock.

  103. Alec Leamas says:

    Tim Wise : Race Hustling :: Blondie’s Rhapsody : Hip Hop

  104. Slartibartfast says:

    I’ve got nothing against the guy, personally. He might be a perfectly decent guy, when he’s not spouting off about how those who oppose Teh Won (gotta change that, maybe) are doomed to die. Pretty much everyone is.

    What’s really got to chap him is that there’s a never-ending stream of young people turning into old farts. One thing this country will never, ever run out of is Grandpa Simpsons.

    Anyway, he’s not really in a position to do much damage, at present, so he doesn’t bother me much. He does have a refreshing ability to ignore the bigotry of occasional Democrats while assigning the bigotry of occasional folks of the conservative persuasion to about 30-35% of the entire US populace. It’s a completely different kind of colorblindness.

  105. Shanghai_Flyer says:

    Tim Wise:Oh Stewardess? I speak jive

  106. Slartibartfast says:

    Other people are starting to take note.

  107. William says:

    Reading this, I started to wonder if he was attempting to be witty, or sarcastic, or something… but I managed to finish it all, and have come to the conclusion that abortion may not be entirely the evil that it is made out to be, in that if his mother had taken that option, no one would be subjected to his drivel, even by accident.

  108. […] Wise, self-parodier, doubles down ‘In the pantheon of American history, conservative old white people have […]

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