Will be back when I’m feeling less likely to spontaneously combust / cough up a large hank of kidney.
I blame Bush.
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
I’m sorry, Jeff, about how you feel. And it’s no longer the “failed Bush policies”…it’s the “failed policies of the last ten years.” Learn the talking points memo.
as long as it’s not apathy… apathy is inexcusable bumblefuck says, and he looks quite cross about it
feel better mister
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you and Jimmy Carter in the same room.
Feel better, Hoss
If you’d done a better job supporting ObamaCare, you could have had a new kidney installed to replace the one you horked up. And if you’d really pulled your weight on ObamaCare, nobody would even think to ask where all the kidneys were coming from…
Jeff? Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw him pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.
I don’t know, nothing drives traffic like a little spontaneous combustion.
Wealth Inequality and Class Warfare…
At Slate, Timothy Noah continues the leftoids’ growing chorus about income and wealth inequality: …in 1915, when the richest 1 percent accounted for about 18 percent of the nation’s income, the prospect of class warfare was imminent. …
Kidney? Ouch. I’ve only been coughing up bits of lung. Oddly enough the best ones are when the whole coughing fit ends with a sneeze.
I’m only in danger of bursting into flame if I am confronted with 30 or more large JPG images of Christina Hendricks.
I survived seeing 29, but it was a close one.
Hope you feel better soon, dude. And I mean that in the least selfish way possible.
I will send a crack team of government health specialists come see you and to you to make you well. Mentally well. It may involve a brutal winter in a tent camp at high altitude (reasonably far away from any ski resport), but that which does not kill you makes you stronger.
No. Not really.
Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime is death.
Sick as shit, dude can still toss out a good one liner.
That’s dedication.
Dickens’ Bleak House features spontaneous human combustion. It’s worth the whole novel just for that part.
– Will light a candle for you. Don’t have a clue whether that does shit, but I have a few laying around, so you know, no big.
– Carter has to hang in there long enough to see November. If it’s his time to go I want him as miserable as possible.
hummm, these illness episodes seem to occur shortly after fund raisers. Ill isn’t a euphemism for blind drunk on fine scotch is it? either way, I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Desperately Ill
Yeah, I was trying to get a handle on what my 2011 tax return would look like too. I stopped with the calculator after I threw up a little blood.
They always go for the kidneys.
I think it’s the Outlaw thing. They’ve figured out our hearts won’t stop & our livers can take anything.
Get better bud.
A little funny for your sick bed…
New Las Vegas MGM hotel apparently designed by pissed off fire ant. Hilarity ensues.
Ant: “See how you like it you asshole humans”
Lamont, that’s pretty funny.
Oddly enough, according to the article, the designer actually took into account the problem and had the windows coated with a film that reduces the effect by 70%.
Just think what would happen if the windows weren’t coated….
Get well soon, Jeff.
Oh, and Jeff, how do you know you’ve got a kidney to spare? After all, according to our “President” doctors remove appendages and organs because they get more money from insurance companies for such things.
Our “President” wouldn’t lie, would he?
Carter has to hang in there long enough to see November. If it’s his time to go I want him as miserable as possible.
Nah. If it’s his time, I hope the old troublesome fart goes peacefully with his family around. Let’s all be good Christians about it.
That said; how many virgins you think Allah will toss him? Won’t be the full 72 cuz he never went all ‘splodey for the cause and, last I checked, they don’t allow explosives in the intensive care ward. Except for those nitroglycerin pills. And you’d need a shitload of those, a chemistry set, and a detonator. Which I guess could maybe be those paddle things. We’ll see.
Anywho, if it’s his time, I’m betting he gets at least four virgins.
Who haven’t shaved or waxed anything since he was in office.
And they will be held hostage until he can “negotiate” them out.
There will also be gas lines.
As we speak, an ultrasonically shattered kidney stone still passes.
This morning an MRI revealed a kidney in my brain. I hope there isn’t a brain in your lung … er lung in your kidney … ah … brain in your kidney attacking your lung?
Screw it, feel batter fast.
Just think what would happen if the windows weren’t coated…
We should be so lucky Blake.
Alternate headline…
“Three Douchebags from Staten Island were Immolated Today in the Middle of the Las Vegas Vdara pool while Sucking on Mojitos, Posing to Make Duck Faces, and Pathetically Hitting on Hideously Ugly Girls Bearing Giant Fake Tits”.
Also, that would be the best reality show ever.
The funniest part of that article is MGM admitting they dumped $200 million into a hotel that now faces a “moving target”, and, without the help of fucking NASA, is pretty much the Sun’s bitch from here on out.
Something tells me that architect is now buried somewhere in the desert Casino style.
They just need to hire the guys who made the corrective lenses for Hubble. Though I hear they don’t work cheap.
My college roommate had bronchitis for months. One day he comes up and says, “Hey, check this out. I think it’s a piece of my lung!”
And sure enough, it was a piece of bronchial tube. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.
Get better soon, Jeff.
Perhaps while Jeff is indisposed we can write some ads for 2010, a little framing practice. In CA Senate Boxer and Fiorina are neck & neck. Boxer has a TV ad up stating that Fiorina shipped 30 thousand jobs to China, which I think is resonating with some. It needs to be countered.
(Fiorina over stills)
Barbara Boxer tells you that while CEO at Hewlett Packard I cut 30 thousand jobs. You know what – I did cut those 30 thousand jobs – to save 3 hundred thousand jobs. HP thrives today because of the tough decisions I made leading that business, the kind of tough decisions Barbara Boxer has been unwilling to make in her nearly 30 years as a Washington insider. Our financial house is in trouble, from cities like Bell and their millionaire salaries, to a California budget almost 20 billion dollars in the red. Barbara Boxer wants the Federal government to keep trying the same old failed approach: borrow from our children and tax the job creators in order to spend money on public employee unions. You know that we can’t afford that anymore; so do all politicians. Well, I’ll tell you straight-up: we have to make tough decisions now in order to turn this economy around, create jobs, and secure our children’s future. I am the woman for the job.
State mandated sentence.
Not bad.
And sure enough, it was a piece of bronchial tube. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.
Ok…while I’m sure that comment was designed to make our Jeff feel better about his current condition…I need an end to that story.
Do you still talk to that guy? Is he still alive?! And what other pieces of his body has his pituitary gland/ immune system tossed out in this strange biological garage sale?
What if his body was just tossing out a little cancer tissue, or what would become cancer tissue?
We need to find this man, hand him to government scientists, have them kill him & dissect him immediately.
For the greater good.
Maybe.
Also, vote Democrat.
He’s alive. He got over it after we threatened to take him to the doctor. He got some meds and it cleared up in about 2 weeks.
The scary bit was he was working 40 hours as a cook at Jack in the Box while hacking like that. Yum!
I’m stealing it for my Robin Hood name.
Jack in the Box has the best 3 a.m. tacos in the whole world
Oh, this is good:
Every newspaper article about a scientific paper that you’ve ever read.
blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
hope ur feeling better j-to the e- to the f
and f again
check out my blog..
how i passed out in canada and woke up in china and thought i was in disneyland cuz of my kidney defish-en-see and
smiling yellow/ or burnt orange- people want
to measure my large? penis m’aam
8. Trackback by Ric’s Rulez on 9/28 @ 12:39 pm #
Wealth Inequality and Class Warfare…
At Slate, Timothy Noah continues the leftoids’ growing chorus about income and wealth inequality: …in 1915, when the richest 1 percent accounted for about 18 percent of the nation’s income, the prospect of class warfare was imminent. …
Timothy Noah is textbook-definition numero-uno of the spiteful, over-irrelevant-credentialled, self-styled intellectual frustrated he has to slum at Slate writing about shit he doesn’t know about because the stupid world fails to recognize his literary brilliance and unable to stomach the fact that some hustling meathead from his high school lives in a better neighborhood, and someday his up-sucks are going to make that world pay.
Yeah, I’m being petty, but weenie spite deserves returned spite.
Seriously, who’s afraid of finding himself on the wrong side of a class rumble with the Tim Noahs?
My kid’s final flag football game is tonight, and I have to miss it because I’m so freaking weak I can’t even lift a bottle of mineral water.
I hates the sicknesses.
If you are shitting blood, diarrhea-style, is that a bad thing?
i like when “kidney kids” try to run a hundred yard dash..
and fall short..
cuz i smoke cigarettes..
and i bond-hack-cough-hack
with them tiny tots!
get up-hack/ phlegms spit/ get up stand up
stand up for ur rights..
preacher man dont tell me..
heaven is under the earth
i know u dont know
what life-kidney kidney- is really worth
it’s not all that glitters is-kidney kidney-not gold..
“alf the story has never been -kidney kidney-told
now u see the light?..
stand up/ with a cane/ for ur rights!
cuz canes can beat u/?….within
an inch of ur life..
bjork can beat u in the afterlife
Get better, Jeff G. You have got some hippie-punching and teabagging to do.
Well, if you are about to spontaneously combust, do us the favor of having a webcam around to record it. I mean, if Protein Wisdom is going to come to an end — though Darleen ought to be able to keep up — at least it ought to go in spectacular fashion.
Can’t blame this infection cycle on the young’un, huh? That always worked for me, because there’s plenty of robust germs that catch a ride home from school.
Heal up by Sunday, anyways. I’d hate for you to miss watching Denver trying to catch Chris Johnson all afternoon. )
“likely to spontaneously combust / cough up a large hank of kidney”
Seriously, film that and set it up on You Tube and you’ll have 2,000,000 hits in no time flat.
Groovy, Stoned Soul Kidney.
Maybe Jeff could, but my wife and I (she’s still fighting a secondary problem from the bronchitis) can’t.
Unless there’s something she isn’t telling me.
<gets up from computer>
(distantly) Uh, honey…?
Get well dammit! …
But if you don’t, can I have your eyebrows? I’ve always wanted visible eyebrows.
If you didn’t catch Levin today;
Guy calls up(Bob) says Obama is no Marxist,
the DOW is up more than the last two Presidents combined.
Levin says what does that matter liar,
it was 1400 during Bush.
What about people losing their homes?
Bob says that was Bush(‘s fault).
Bob,
says Levin,
how long have you had Tourettes?
whaddawhadda…BUSH!
hummahhummah…BUSH!
Get off the phone ya moron!
I was nearly died laughing
driving at the time
cuz i smoke cigarettes..
Well, I toke kidneys.
Outlaw !
For #13, and just because.