Highlights from the 9/11 Commission hearings, April 13.
Richard Ben Veniste: “Mr. Ashcroft. In response to your assertion that the single greatest obstacle to pre-9/11 national security was the ‘draconian barrier,’ as you’ve phrased it, between the law enforcement and intelligence communities, isn’t it true, sir, that you fear women’s boobies? — “
John Ashcroft: ” — That’s not what your mother said, Mr. Ben Veniste — “
Richard Ben Veniste: ” — and dancing? Isn’t dancing the Devil’s work, Mr. Ashcroft –“
John Ashcroft: ” — ask your momma if I didn’t tap that ass, sir.”
*****
[update: Oliver Willis — like clockwork to stupid — predictable as a Margaret Cho punchline]
Why do I keep coming back here?
Jeff: you’re sometimes funny, but much of the time your humor doesn’t rise above the level of a second grade f*rt joke. Are you immature, or just lazy?
Can’t I be both? After all, you get to be both silly and tiresome
I wonder if Linda likes dancing.
Linda, you can’t blame Jeff. You guys are an absolute joke.
Gorelick who the architect of the wall that made it impossible to connect the dots between the FBI and CIA is a commission (http://www.nationalreview.com/document/ashcroft200404131644.asp). And even fuunier is that Gorelick’s firm is representing the Saudi’s against the 911 families. (http://pla.blogspot.com/2003_08_03_pla_archive.html)
Ben Veniste is a despicable partisan. Playing silly lawyer games, “Dr Rice, what is the title of …”.
Both Clinton and Gore get to have their PDB remain secret, get to tesify in secret and not under oath.
I would laugh if this whole commission wasn’t such a joke.
Did they ever get Ashcroft to answer whether or not he still beats his wife?
Is there something unfunny and objectionable about fart jokes? If so, I gotta get some new material.
Cordially…
Does that mean Oliver was actually right twice today?
I’d take Ashcroft’s accusations more seriously if I didn’t feel he secretly admires Mullah Omar.
Oliver, Linda…. Why do I here the tune “Matchmaker” from Fiddler on the Roof playing in my head all of a sudden? ‘Cos guys, believe me, you both seem to be made for each other. I mean, you, Ols, are a man who knows (so I’ve heard) his way around ass-tapping, and Linda seems to have an ass that is in desperate to be tapped. I can see the first line of the screenplay now: ”It was the spring of 2004 and we were just two crazy kids on the internet, separated by who knew how many thousands of miles but of one mind when it came to defeating the evil Bushitler and his lackey Herr Kommandant Aschenkruft…”
I hear the tune, of course—here in my head. I blame Dick Cheney!
I guess this shows that the right wing spin machine can’t… spin this.
Huh? Do you even—oh, never mind.
“What did you do when radical Islam attacked America, grandpa?”
“I tried to convince my countrymen that there was no difference between elected officials who operated under the rule of law, and vicious religious fanatics who recognized no laws other than themselves.”
Oliver doesn’t need to change his tagline… just lose 3/4ths of it.
is Oliver for real? his back-handed swipe about potheads and porn stars sounds like something from the Chapelle show. you know, the things a real pimp should be worried about.
Oooooo, Oliver gives us yet another Ashcroft == Taliban reference. Wow, the creativity just oozes out.