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the "Peter Piper, reimagined for 2010" post

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked;
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
Because part of that peck belongs to Blacks, women,
gays, Hispanics, the transgendered, and others
who have been traditionally discriminated against,
and so — in order to rectify the effects of such
discrimination — are deserving of the fruits of
Peter Piper’s labor, even if Peter Piper never
discriminated against them personally. And
regardless of whether or not they’ve ever even
tried picking their own fucking pecks of peppers.
Perhaps Peter Piper should have picked a peck
of not-being-a-white-man. The dumb cracker.

24 Replies to “the "Peter Piper, reimagined for 2010" post”

  1. pdbuttons says:

    my fantasy involves salma hayek and pickles

  2. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – This cracker has a pickled pecker he’ll be glad to share with them.

  3. pdbuttons says:

    a pickle should be sliced
    and put on hambergers
    or italian subs/ oops/
    that hoagie that has meat in it
    pickles shoulndn’t be waved in the air
    unless at world cup games

  4. JD says:

    If you pickle your pecker there is something seriously wrong with you.

  5. Peter Piper says:

    If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
    Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

    You gotta problem? Talk to my union:

    Pepper Pickers and Picklers Amalgamated Local 537.

  6. letitbeme says:

    This tongue-twister betrays a poor grasp of agriculture and food processing. Peppers can’t be picked pickled.

  7. letitbeme says:

    … Though seashells are commonly sold by the seashore.

  8. pdbuttons says:

    u can pick ur friends/ and u can pick ur friends noses
    but u can’t pick ur relatives

  9. TaiChiWawa says:

    The peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked were probably put into the pease porridge pot.

  10. Big Bang Hunter says:

    “If you pickle your pecker there is something seriously wrong with you.”

    – Age will do that JD.

    – But not to fear. It still has it’s “hardest” features, and they would definitely know they’d been pickled pepper pecker speared.

  11. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Wonder if 7 of 11 ever got a taste of Captain Picards deep space pickled pepper.

  12. Bob Reed says:

    You forgot the part of the pepper that Peter owed to the rest of the world, ‘cuz he regularly uses more peppers than can be justified for the small percentage of the world’s population he accounts for.

  13. mojo says:

    Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers

  14. urthshu says:

    The essential problem with the use of Peter Piper as metaphor is that his agricultural labor implies a continuing output – all correct insofar as that goes – yet failing to illustrate the core unfairness of Capitalism, which being that some Have whilst others Have-not.

    Surely Little Jack Horner or Miss Muffet could provide better analogies to shrinking availability of goods due to oppositions of Greed and Need, with solutions proffered by the likes of The Stone Soup man or, in extremis, The Pied Piper of Hamelin.

    Except, you know, who wants to eat Stone Soup with a bunch of Whiteys? Maybe they should set up something separate. But equal.

  15. Patrick S (not that other Patrick who may or may not be anti-semitic) says:

    You had me at pecker.

    What?

  16. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Could we go easy on the shrinkage thing – just saying…..

  17. cranky-d says:

    Hey, it’s cold, dammit!

    Well, it’s cold somewhere… .

  18. The problem isn’t that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers — grown in vinegar, no doubt — but that Peter Piper has a pecker, which means he is The Oppressor.

    Now, if Mr Piper chooses to take a walk on the Wilde side, then perhaps he can be somewhat forgiven, though if he gets his pecker pickled it would be better.

  19. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Peter Piper owes me $25.00. Fuck that pecker.

  20. proudvastrightwingconspirator says:

    Snow White? Racist!
    Cinderella? Identity fraud!
    Hansel & Gretel? Serial Witch killers!
    Little Black Sambo? Don’t even get me started…….

  21. LTC John says:

    Piper is a kulak!

  22. pdbuttons says:

    kulaks have magicaal pickle powers that we lowly working class
    don’t understand/ i say we take our cucumbers and storm the bastille pickle factory!
    who’s with me?
    please/no sour comments
    a pickle in everybasket!

  23. Yackums says:

    Pecker? I don’t even know her!

  24. […] FROM BAD TO VERSE– the “Peter Piper, re-imagined for 2010?” post …. […]

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