When a kindergartener becomes a first-grader, life’s training wheels come off. And frankly, that terrifies me.
But I’m very proud nevertheless. Because when it comes to blocks and blunted scissors, my boy has proven himself more than merely proficient. He’s excelled.
So. Who’s his daddy now? I am. That’s who.
I’ll be gone most of the day today. Ceremony starts in about an hour, and after that we’re going to take the boy out for lunch and a reward.
See you all soon.
Man, I wish I’d had somebody who could teach me how to use the blunted scissors. I hated those things.
Have a good day with the family, Jeff.
Jeff, you’ll find that the training wheels don’t really come off until high school. That’s when you find out whether you’ve been successful in teaching them values and smarts.
In high school they start being exposed to other kids with the potential to really screw up their lives, and who can make the prospect appear attractive. You think you’re terrified now, wait until you no longer have any control.
But you’ll do fine.
That’s fantastic, pinch those cheeks for us.
Awesome dude. My youngest starts Kindergarten next year, my oldest will start 2nd, which means she’ll be a Brownie. Seems like every time I turn around, they’ve made some milestone.
Goes by quick, doesn’t it?
Congrats, little dude. Tear yourself off a piece, alright?
Congratulations!
Remind me to tell you about the first time I cut class – in kindergarten.
You don’t mention his pasting skillz. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING JEFF?!!
Do they teach the kids how to do that step-slide-step-slide while “Pomp & Circumstance” is played?
I’ve got my second kid entering high school this fall. It’s kinda like my kindergarten since they’re homeschooled up to this point.
My second’s been such a PITA lately, I can’t wait.
Thanks for helping me realize just how old I am, Jeff. My grandson graduate kindergarten in a few days.
Congrats and may you have smiles to go with the many frustrations of raising a child.
Monster, the only slide step worth learning is the one used by a pitcher when a runner is on first.
Ahh, 1st grade… I remember those days.
That was the year I developed a crippling addiction to methamphetamines.
I’m sure he’ll be fine though.
Congrats. Onward to kickball and cootie avoidance.
Congrats to Jeff and Little Jeff. :)
I won’t do kindergarten graduation any more. My father split his tight, plaid bellbottoms at mine. I had to change a flat on my way to my oldest boy’s and got my Dockers covered in brake dust. At Number 2 son’s, number 3 son spilled red juice down my front. At number 3 son’s number 4 son puked down my back (not a cute baby spit-up either, a full-on technicolor yawn). So I’m snakebit and will not be going to number 4 son’s kindergarten graduation if I can help it. Even though it might just be the only thing he ever graduates from, the little punk.
Life has not been a cakewalk for LMC.
LMC’s dry cleaner, on the other hand…
This morning he threw an entire roll of toilet paper at me while I was in the shower. Why? No one knows. Demon child.
Congratulations, Satchel (and Jeff)!
LMC, at least he didn’t stick the leading end of the TP in the toilet and then flush. My 2 year old girl LOVES to do that. The water swirls and the TP roll spins really fast!
Thank god we shop at Costco…
When I was growing up, Dad used to get furious when I’d answer “I dunno” when questioned as to why I’d done some transgression. Dad was frequently angry with me.
When I became a dad, when I asked one of my own personal demon spawn why they’d done something, often I’d get an “I dunno” answer. I always stopped questioning at that point, because I remembered that, as a child, I had no real reason why I’d done something stupid. Just seemed, you know, like a good idea at the time.
Action-consequence wasn’t a part of my thought pattern when I a kid.
“when I a kid” should read “when I was a kid.”
Congratulations, Satchel and Mom and Dad. It’s a great time, Jeff. My oldest is in her last year of Middle School and will be in Junior High next year. The time, it flies. But flying with them is so much fun.
What Blake said in #12 except granddaughter and 1st grade. Congratulations.
Good for you.
Enjoy it.
Hey, Jeff!
Congratulations!
But graduating from Kindergarten?
I only graduated ONCE, and it was from the twelfth grade!
My son is 10 years old, and was a gift from…hmmmm…whoever.
There is nothing better in this world than a child of your loins.
Especially YOUR child.
Good luck and thank you again for PW. I wish I could give you tons of money, but I’m not even sure about my rent at this moment.
You da man! Thank you so much for this oasis.
TLD
a fine scotch
They used to do that until my wife caught them. The oldest was trying to swindle number 2 (he’s a mark) out of his iPod or something by betting on how much went down. He used a sharpie to make a mark on the side of the roll and they’d count. I thought it showed entrepreneurship and let it go on way too long, after the eighth or ninth flush, my wife came storming up the stairs and found them all standing around the pot. It’s an 8 by 10 room, the boys are 15, 11, 9, and 5. Add one pissed off mom and it was really, really loud.
My favorite was when someone flushed a lego boat and never said anything. I came back from a week on the road and the second floor hallway smelled like the Stygian Stables. This summer I’m going to see about putting a urinal in the garage.
LMC,
Go green, put a tree in the backyard big enough to hide behind.
Nevermind the neighbors, it’s mom you need to worry about.
Fabulous, boss. Mine’s 19 now, meaning that you always fear for them — it’s what dads do. Congrats, best wishes, go thou and enjoy, and thanks for touching a heart string.
Oh, has he considered blogging?
That is the CUTEST age for a kid. Still sweeter than sweet, but knows enough not to play in traffic.
Much.
And can say the darndest things. I hope the teacher asked them to provide recipes:
Turkey:
Get a turkey and kill it.
Take off the feathers and the head.
Cook in the oven at 5 degrees for 10 hours.
And now, in honor of National Hamburger Day, cakes that look like hamburgers. Or that are supposed to.
Congrats. Mine graduates a year early from High School in about a month. Then it’s on to some serious higher leftist indoctrination where I can learn in even more colorful terms why Sarah Palin is too stupid to be a national leader and why the right in general is teh Suxor.
My kid is only 6 months behind yours.
Repeatedly, I fall into a routine, and it feels as if things will be the same way forever, then I get shocked out of it and start a new routine, which also feels like it wll last forever.
[…] Graduation day […]
Hey, JeffG, this is totally off topic, but I have a lead on a job for an instructional design contract, 4-5 months, in Denver. My email is deon -at – deonlackey.com if you’re interested. I can pass on the info from the recruiter.
Is the Armadillo going to the graduation?
My oldest finished middle school (early) yesterday. I was supposed to help her with her algebra, but that turned out not to be necessary.
I feel superfluous, a little.
There will still be boyfriends to scare in the future.
Hey, Gary Coleman died.
Guess ol’ Corey’s gonna get a butt kicking for what he did to Dana Plato’s carpet.
Kinda puts my graduation stories in perspective… he said as he shelled out $200 bucks to replace the glass in the dining room window.
Honestly, who hits golfballs towards the house besides a teenaged boy?
Wonder if Corey Haim’s gonna be hanging with Gary. You know, show him around the new place, etc.
I smell a new series. “What U talkin’ ’bout, G-d?”
Well, he already played a kid with a broken halo…
Another OT:
I just realized that O!bama is a scion of the Chicago Machine, and will be rooting for the Blackhawks.
Flyers in 4.
cranky, what’s your preferred method of scaring daughters would be boyfriends?
The ritual cleaning of firearms during introductions?
The casual leaning of the shotgun in the corner while making small talk?
Or, do you just greet the would be paramour with the trusty sidearm holstered?
Congrats to Satchel, Jeff and his bride. Don’t blink too fast or it will be high school graduation and you’ll be wondering how all the stuff he wants to take to college will fit in his dorm room.
:::sigh:::
my grandsons are just finishing up 1st grade and #4 daughter called last week giddy over the last of her finals (8 more units and she graduates college!)
I really really gotta stop blinking.
I have no children, Blake, nor have I ever been on the receiving end of such a scare. However, cleaning the firearms would be good because it implies that you use them regularly. You might also casually mention that you would have no trouble serving time if you had to.
“Chicago is out…? Chicago is OUT?!?”
what’s your preferred method of scaring daughters would be boyfriends?
You might want to try what Glenn Beck tried. For reals.
If not for the stalker-bitch-who-shall-go-unnamed-but-not-unreviled, I’m confident that Jeff could have become a daddy-blogger to rival James Lileks and Tony Woodlief. And who knows, as the little fellow journeys on his way, maybe that theme will return to this blog.
You know how you can tell when they’re grown up? They become adults three years before you think they do, and three years after they think they do.
Darleen,
My oldest became taller than her mommy this past winter. Seems like yesterday I was giving her horsey rides to her bed. Actually it *was* yesterday. Oof!!
Congratulations Satchel.
Jeff. Console yourself with the fact that this is probably the most fun it’s going to be until he hits thirty.
They grow so fast.
dicentra
that vid was hilarious!
Drean on Blake,
Things are pretty twisted now a days. Friend of mine’s daughter went out and was essentially raped by her date. The boy knew what he was doing and the police couldn’t/wouldn’t do anything. The boy mocked the father and daughter both after the cops walked away. My friend took a baseball bat to the SOB and broke a few bones. He’s looking at felonious assault. Lost his job…. daughter is now a total mess, blames herself… won’t be dating again for a while, other girls/boys hate her….things don’t look good.
Honestly, who hits golfballs towards the house besides a teenaged boy?
well, I did, but I never thought it would go over the fence and through the neighbor’s window.
Awwww. Congrats.
Hopefully you and the missus can take a well deserved break from parenting till the next kid and let all the After-School-Specials and Public Service Announcements on TV raise the kid. That is what happens after Kindergarten, or is it Pre-Kindergarten? Right? Congrats to the boy!
Mazel tov! Lots of Nachas.
For Jeff G. who never blinks.
Seriously, that is a pretty good shot for a girl.
Yeah. Correspondingly, we age so fast.
Congrats!