Bill Quick inspired me to go revisit protein wisdom’s first day of posting, December 17, 2001. Here’s what I wrote:

Sullivan’s Sentiment, & Hey, has anybody even checked Geraldo’s ‘stache?

Most of the time I find myself in agreement with Andrew Sullivan. But in his latest dish he includes this sentiment, delivered as a cautionary imperative:

“Killing bin Laden out of rage is not the correct response. We must not kill him because we are angry. We must kill him because it is just.“

Okay. But if some angry and motivated ‘Merkin soldier (or hell, howsabout Christiane Amanpour?) were to kill Ewe-sama jus’ for sport — and then solder his severed head to the grill of a Humvee — I wouldn’t lose a moment’s sleep over it. Nor would Rummy, I don’t think. Nor would Geraldo. The only “correct response” I’m interested in is the one that gets the job done…

And speaking of Geraldo…say what you will about his chest-thumping and musk-drenched Fox News reportage, there’s absolutely no denying the grandeur of that ‘stache of his — which seems made for adventurously upper-lippin’ it near bombed-out Jalalabad cave complexes. I mean, if ever there was facial hair destined to find its war-time celebrity niche, his is it the stuff, ain’t it? — peppered and wearied with pulverized rock and ash, solid, determined, constant…

Anyway, Geraldo’s sources in Tora Bora are telling him Binny used the 36 hour cease fire of several days back to donkey himself into Pakistan, where he’s holed up with a “well-known” Pashtun tribal leader in Pershawar. Reportedly, UBL’s shaved his beard and has taken to wearing “western-style garb” (you mean, like chaps and spurs? Please tell me it’s chaps and spurs!).

Possible, I suppose — though for what it’s worth, the chances are just as good that Usama’s pinched a year’s supply of canned meat and is holed up in Geraldo’s crumb catcher ’til spring.

That’s Where Rock ‘n’ Rall Dreams Come True…

[Here’s] The latest of Ted Rall’s feckless pap in the Village Voice. Reads like the perpetually moist stain in the crotch of my Gap khakis.

Y’know, I didn’t even know who Rall was until I saw him on “Politically Incorrect” a while back, but from what I remember of his appearance, he had this peculiar sidewise-glance-and-sneer combo he liked to trot out — a kind of perverse and tortured facial flourish — a way to expressively punctuate with his lips and eyes and jowls the silly and hateful bile he’d just finished burping up. ‘S kinda like the lipcurl and squinty, paranoid glare you’d expect from some hack Elvis impersonator who’s just found out he’s been bumped from his set in favor of a mediocre Cream cover band. On a Wednesday night in Tahoe, no less. “Oh yeah?” his look said. “Well then fuck Benny Hill.”

Followed by muttering — and some mental crayon scribblings of Dubya drownin’ in raw sewage… Bill Maher seemed nonplussed by cartoon boy’s sinister demeanor.

Face it: That guy Rall’s jes’ plain creepy.

Placing Blame in the Culture Wars: A Brief History of the Failure of the Academy, with Related Tragedies (Part 1):

Q: How many gender-feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: That’s not funny.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming…

EcoFraud 101

Lemme jes’ link you to a Washington Times article that suggests to what lengths Hempsters — even those within our very own guvment, baby! — are willing to go to Support The Great Green Cause…

Shameful.

Gosh, I sure was cute when I was younger…