Never talk about never talking about Fight Club, lest somebody figures out that all your talk about not talking about Fight Club proves that there is, in fact, a Fight Club.
No cups / bras.
You can slap, but only if the slap is accompanied by the interjection, “You are sooo not fabulous!”
“The third rule of Fight Club is no salty foods. BECAUSE OF THE (POTENTIAL FOR) HEART DISEASE!”
Never run with scissors during Fight Club. Unless you really really need them. And you’re in a big hurry.
“Loser buys the chicken nachos!”
Participating in Fight Club more than two or three times a day is not advisable. You can go blind that way.
Jared Leto needs to be bitch slapped frequently. On principle.
Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. With the possible exception of banging Helena Bonham Carter doggie style on a dirty mattress in an old house. Which is also kind cool.
0 Replies to “9 best discarded “Rules for Fight Club””
Matty O, the cinematic vistas shot in that film were breathtaking, and the performances really great. It’s among my favorites, although I must admit a fondness for Firenza as well as the romanticism of the period.
The H8, it oozes from my pores, cranky-d. Were it not for my H8, there would be precious little reason for me to even get out of bed in the morning. As so, I cultivate and nurture my H8. It is my friend ;-)
Don’t question your sanity or judgment about joining fight club, just pick up your teeth and go home. Loser.
Bringing a .40 pistol to fight club – and using it – shows a distinct lack of understanding the other guy’s need to beat on you to prove that he isn’t a small-dicked pussy no matter how much his boss walks all over him and grinds her high heel into his forehead. Hater.
Voting for Obama and supporting ObamaCare just proves that not even fight club can make a he-man out of you. Wuss.
Not talking about fight club – and losing the ability to brag to girls about your fighting prowess – really, what is the point of fight club again if you can’t brag to the chickas about your macho fighting skills? Stupid.
Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. With the possible exception of banging Helena Bonham Carter doggie style on a dirty mattress in an old house. Which is also kind cool.
I think this goes in to the “sage advice” category that you share with your son on the occasion of his first beer. Other examples:
Don’t date a woman with gold teeth.
Don’t play pool against someone named after a city.
Never give away the ending to “Fight Club,” even though it would be a better world for other guys if Brad Pitt really didn’t exist and Ed Norton really was schizophrenic.
Yeah, I have no idea why either.
There doesn’t have to be a reason for everything.
I’m pretty sure number 8 is a threat. Why must you always be so violent?
It’s not a bra! I swear!
Does it have to be a dirty mattress? ‘Cuz I think cleanliness is next to…
Oh fuck it, never mind.
Principle. Yeah, that’s it.
6a — because the beef nachos have *way* too much saturated fat…
I am Jack’s hilarious comment.
Grrrrr….
I could go with #6, #8 and #9.
“Don’t make blockbuster motion pictures about our nonexistent club.”
“With the possible exception of banging Helena Bonham Carter doggie style on a dirty mattress in an old house.”
Wait, didn’t Daniel Day-Lewis enjoy this privilege in, “A room with a view” ? Or did they do it on a sarcophagus in Santa Croce?
Details…
Mmmm Helena Bonham Carter… “A Room With a View” is one of my favorite movies.
Matty O, the cinematic vistas shot in that film were breathtaking, and the performances really great. It’s among my favorites, although I must admit a fondness for Firenza as well as the romanticism of the period.
Thomas Crowne Affair had incredible cinematography too.
The vistas of Nadia in American Pie were breath-taking, as were a couple scenes in Porky’s. That is all.
The Mission had amazing cinematography.
Oh, wait. We’re not talking about the same thing, are we?
I think we were talking about the same thing in my first comment, but I cannot be sure, since I am a 2-digit racist.
Yeah. I can’t believe I’m even addressing you, after what you said about me in that other thread.
I am sneaky evil like that. Nobody could really tell if I was talking to you or the asshat, or they could not tell if there was any difference ;-)
JD is a h8er. That cannot be said often enough.
The H8, it oozes from my pores, cranky-d. Were it not for my H8, there would be precious little reason for me to even get out of bed in the morning. As so, I cultivate and nurture my H8. It is my friend ;-)
The H8, it oozes from my pores, cranky-d.
We can smell it from here, man. I thought the patchouli stink at Mother Jones was bad, but it ain’t nothin’ compared to you.
Out of Africa would have been great had Meryl Streep been shot with an elephant gun. Too violent! OUTLAW!!!
Had fun in Cheek-a-go, did we?
Possible Rule #10:
Don’t question your sanity or judgment about joining fight club, just pick up your teeth and go home. Loser.
Bringing a .40 pistol to fight club – and using it – shows a distinct lack of understanding the other guy’s need to beat on you to prove that he isn’t a small-dicked pussy no matter how much his boss walks all over him and grinds her high heel into his forehead. Hater.
Voting for Obama and supporting ObamaCare just proves that not even fight club can make a he-man out of you. Wuss.
Not talking about fight club – and losing the ability to brag to girls about your fighting prowess – really, what is the point of fight club again if you can’t brag to the chickas about your macho fighting skills? Stupid.
Do not click this, JD. Do not. You’ve been warned.
Rule 10: Do yourself a favor and pick no fights with Marines; unless you also value a thorough ass-whuppin…
That one’s for you, BigD, and in honor of Mel.
Rule 10:
All tits shall be referred to as “bitch tits.” ‘Cause otherwise, Meatloaf will not feel unmanly enough to join and we need him for the plot later.
Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. With the possible exception of banging Helena Bonham Carter doggie style on a dirty mattress in an old house. Which is also kind cool.
I think this goes in to the “sage advice” category that you share with your son on the occasion of his first beer. Other examples:
Don’t date a woman with gold teeth.
Don’t play pool against someone named after a city.
Make No Mistake: Obama is using the Goldman Sachs/SEC imbroglio to refill the underfunded pension obligations of the SEIU.
I loathed Fight Club.
They should have called it ‘Tedious Club’
or maybe ‘Chewing the Scenery Club’
or perhaps ‘Punk Ass Wanna-be Anarchist With a Pocket Full of Daddy’s Credit Cards Unattainable Manhood Club’
‘Fight to Stay Awake’ Club
Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt!!!!!
What! No bras!
Like.
Never give away the ending to “Fight Club,” even though it would be a better world for other guys if Brad Pitt really didn’t exist and Ed Norton really was schizophrenic.