CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA – “In a bizarre attack, a job hunter was ‘robbed’ of sperm in Kraaifontein, after a passerby offered him food, took him home and beat him up before forcing him to ejaculate into a jar,” IOL reports.
“Police spokesman Ian Rosant confirmed that a 33-year-old man had laid a charge of indecent assault with Kraaifontein police.”
He said the suspect, described as middle-aged, had offered the man work and food at his home.
But instead he took his victim into a room, locked the door and asked him to have sex with his wife.
Wow. Tough interview.
Rosant said that when the confused and shocked job seeker refused to have sex with his false Samaritan’s wife, the man punched him.
‘The attacker then partially stripped the frightened man and forcibly caused him to ejaculate’ while the woman looked on, Rosant said.
“Forcibly caused him to ejaculate”? Um, okay…
The man collected his victim’s sperm and sealed it in a jar.
The attacker let him go and he fled.
Police have failed to find the suspect so far, but hope they will catch him at home on Tuesday.
Asked how the police intend to identify him, Rosant said, “We’re guessing he’ll be the bloke with the sealed jar o’ jism and the naked wife. Unless he’s done something untoward with the semen since the assault, that is.
“And unless his wife’s since dressed herself. In which case, beats me.
“So to speak, of course.”
They’d better get forensics reports on every turkey baster in town.
If someone had pitched this story to The Onion, they probably would have been turned down on the grounds that it’s too unbelievable.
Given how overworked the Seth Effrikan police are these days, I guess the perp decided that sexual assault and battery was more cost-effective than taking the missus to a fertility clinic.
As for the bit about “forcibly causing him to ejaculate”…I’m sure skepticism is called for, but there have been cases of men who were raped by women (don’t laugh) and who ejaculated during the rape.
A Google search on “women raping men” brought up too many hits involving man-on-woman rape to wade through. Searching on “woman-on-man rape” brought up this. Don’t click on the link on that page (”ample reason”
unless you have a strong stomach.
I’m willing to wager that the whole thing is involved in some new and bizarre folk cure for AIDS… same sort of witchcraft that leads to stories like this.