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Another moment of unabashed pragmatism

So I was thinking, it sure would be sweet to lay out today and maybe get a bit of color — until I remembered we’re fresh out of sunscreen. And rather than hop in the car to go get some, or risk naked exposure to the sun’s rays, I decided fuck it, I’ll just type up this post instead.

I can’t speak to the overall effectiveness of the strategy, of course. But at the very least, it saved me a good 6 or 7 minutes of skin damage. So there’s that.

0 Replies to “Another moment of unabashed pragmatism”

  1. happyfeet says:

    Mr. Instapundit gets very evangelical about the vitamin D.

    I think that’s kind of charming how he does that.

  2. But now you’ve got more of that ghostly monitor pallor…

  3. sdferr says:

    Surely there’s another path to getting a little color? Maybe offering a piece of pizza in exchange?

  4. SPF50 FTW!!!!11!!!!!1!!!

  5. Jim Ryan says:

    what about
    that one dude
    with li’l poems like this

    what’s his face
    banned I guess

  6. bh says:

    That’s pdbuttons. I doubt he’s banned.

  7. Bob Reed says:

    But Jeff, you’re really doing yourself a dis-service. I understand that along with the color comes a quantum of absolute moral authority.

    Or, is it really something else, unconscious racism perhaps? Maybe you just don’t like brown peoples, but don’t really know it…

  8. ThomasD says:

    I always thought you were one of those swarthy Mediterranean types?

  9. Jeff G. says:

    Well, I’m Italian. But I’m not from the southern part. More like Milan. Which explains the impeccable fashion sense, I guess.

  10. happyfeet says:

    pd buttons!

    I miss him.

  11. Mike LaRoche says:

    Being of mixed latino/anglo heritage, coconut-scented suncreen is more my type…at least according to nishi.

  12. pd buttons. Dude was soft-shoeing to a Thelonious Monk solo that only he could hear.

  13. John Bradley says:

    Dude – if your sidebar is any guide, the last time you got some color (OMG! RACIST!) you inexplicably wound up as a sickly green/yellow Serpico-lookin’ motherfucker. I can only assume asparagus was involved.

    Why you chose that particular color is anyone’s guess… but well, maybe less color is in order. Just sayin’.

  14. Obstreperous Inifidel says:

    Think of the vitamin D you’re depriving yourself of!

    VITAMINIST!!!!!!

  15. Jim Ryan says:

    prolly decided
    his stuff was
    not stupid stuff

    published it
    with fancy pants press

    books of pd posts
    twelve dollars

  16. happyfeet says:

    I would buy one.

  17. happyfeet says:

    And some for christmas presents too.

  18. When I’m at home in my basement office, I usually turn up the brightness and contrast on the four monitors on my desk as high as they can. That way I get the eye damage, the skin damage, and the radiation exposure same as going outside, with the added benefit (and the subtle tang) of radon poisoning. It’s a win win! If I get really lucky, something will happen to the furnace or water heater and I’ll get some of the carbon monoxide I’m missing by not driving to work. Plus, you know, youtube.

  19. sdferr says:

    How cool? 5′ tall, 114lbs and Japanese! But then I’ve always been a sucker for the knuckleball.

  20. sdferr says:

    Oh, and Outlaws! How ’bout a mascot?

  21. JD says:

    It would be a good day to be in Augusta.

  22. Wow! Last time I had a Japanese knuckleball was also the last time I drank Ouzo on an empty stomach. Had to wire home to pay the hotel bill, I was missing all my cash and didn’t know why…until a couple days later. Worse case of hemorrhoids I ever had.

  23. TaiChiWawa says:

    I hear the temperature in the Denver area is in the 60s today. Is blue the color you were going for?

  24. The Bewildered Lost Dog says:

    Hi, Jeff.

    The scariest thing about being Germanic/Nordic, is the fact that heat stroke has morphed into giant purple bruises that bleed later when I go out in the sun.

    Yhis is not a great thing when you are a painting contractor (As if there was any work to be had for more than $8.00/Hr)

    Oh well. At least I’m back on line…

    GO, O! SUCK US DRY! MAKE US FRY! EAT MY SHORTS AND SEND ME A BILL!

  25. Abe Froman says:

    An outlaw would sun himself without whining about a lack of UV protection.

  26. happyfeet says:

    I’m glad things are looking less down Mr. Dog

  27. dicentra says:

    Look, the social advantage is the only advantage to being fair-skinned.

    It’s like wearing a white carpet that shows everything: every spot, every blemish, every bustid capillary, every zit.

    I guess that’s why racists like me are fighting so hard to stay on top of the pile: so that my pasty-white complexion can be good for something.

  28. dicentra says:

    I mean, the darker your skin, the slower your age shows on your face. You can’t beat that.

  29. Jim in KC says:

    Plus, there’s the whole “shifting without the clutch” thing, which is a real pain in the ass if you have to stop.

  30. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    I played beach volleyball for 10 straight years. My nickname was “whitey”. If I was “not pasty” after the summer, I felt bronzed. It’s the Polish/Irish mix.

  31. Abe Froman says:

    I have my Irish skin out in the sun without protection all the time and I still look pretty young for my age. But I suppose if Orwell was right that by age 50 every man has the face he deserves then the future ain’t looking good.

  32. Carin says:

    I mean, the darker your skin, the slower your age shows on your face. You can’t beat that.

    I’m pretty damn white, and my face doesn’t show my age. My white hair does. But not my face. Hardly ever tanned (bored the crap out of me), so I didn’t get a lot of the damage that ages us white folks.

  33. happyfeet says:

    my mint came back! it’s very exciting

  34. happyfeet says:

    apparently in CA you have mint until the white flies eats it and then it goes away til next spring

  35. Carin says:

    YEA. Excellent. White flies eat it? I guess you’d better enjoy the mojitos before you see the white flies.

  36. Jim in KC says:

    Does mint make a good sunscreen?

  37. happyfeet says:

    white flies are a CA thing – we didn’t have them in texas… they are very small.. and white… but I will have a tasty mojito this weekend with the coconut rum

  38. happyfeet says:

    what makes the bestest sunscreen is a roof I think Jim

  39. happyfeet says:

    bookmarked! thank you – i always figured you were just sol

  40. sdferr says:

    Though homemade concoctions work just as well and in exactly the same fashion. I think my mom made her’s with a bar of pinetar soap or some such. The thing is, after the water component evaporates off, the scum part is left behind clogging the bugger’s breathing pores or whatever. Anyhow, they die genocidally.

  41. Jim in KC says:

    I like to kill them with kindness, sdferr.

  42. Jim in KC says:

    I’m gonna start wearing my panama hat when I ride around on the lawn mower this summer, I think. It’s sort of a portable straw roof.

  43. happyfeet says:

    my sister had mites in her grass so she used soapy water for that

    mites are evil

  44. sdferr says:

    Tehgroovey is how fast it washes off for the eatings.

  45. bh says:

    OT: The Money Hole.

    (h/t to an Obama voter. Yes, ironic.)

  46. sdferr says:

    Additional OT: Cereal Box.

  47. bh says:

    Additional OT, the second: Trade up in the draft?

  48. sdferr says:

    More further OT, additionally:

    Q: How does a team get to be league highest in shorthanded goals?

    A: Easy peasy: give up more powerplays than any other team.

  49. sdferr says:

    Fity! woo-hoo!

  50. bh says:

    Are you talking about ice soccer again?

  51. bh says:

    I mean the ice soccer with sticks.

  52. Blitz says:

    Shhh…I’m a ginger. Even thinking about going out in the sun can permanently damage my skin. I was once put in hospital due to sunburn (UV burns in my eyes as an added bonus!!)

    LD? re your #24. Is that what causes the huge purple spots every time a little sunburn occurs?

  53. sdferr says:

    How do we yodel in blogspeak?

  54. Blitz says:

    OH!! Ice soccer! Love that game. 2 years in a row as coach? we won a Championship. Basically, since I play hockey and know NOTHING about soccer, I coached the teams as a hockey coach would. really messed up the other coaches strategy.

  55. sdferr says:

    J.R. despairs at co-religionists disregard for Obamamonster.

  56. Blitz says:

    Sd? YDLHO?

  57. sdferr says:

    yaldelhoooooouoh?

  58. Blitz says:

    Hmmm…Yo Da Lay He HO…Nah, can’t do anything with that unless y’all want an acronym

  59. McGehee says:

    How do we yodel in blogspeak?

    YODLMAO

  60. Blitz says:

    McGehee wins the thread!!

  61. sdferr says:

    Damn. I wuz gonna go with OberkommandoderWehrmachtJODLMAO. Too long?

  62. dicentra says:

    Though homemade concoctions work just as well

    Dish soap works. You just need a surfactant to gum up their spiracles.

  63. phreshone says:

    Pie… next time slather some pie filling over your body… and your dog will like it too…

  64. J."Trashman" Peden says:

    Royal Crown Pomade – makes you smell dead as a bonus, no problem with Zombies.

  65. The Bewildered Lost Dog says:

    Thanks, hf.

    Less down? You betcha!

    I actually have a home for the first time since September. I can’t afford it, but the landlord doesn’t know that yet…

  66. triggerhippie says:

    > Though homemade concoctions work just as well and in exactly
    > the same fashion. I think my mom made her’s with a bar of
    > pinetar soap or some such. The thing is, after the water component
    > evaporates off, the scum part is left behind clogging the bugger’s
    > breathing pores or whatever.

    It’s more diabolical than that. The soap strips away the waterproof wax that permeates their cuticles, rendering them permeable. The juicy part of their inner goo then evaporates, and their guts literally curdle.

  67. ed says:

    9.Comment by Jeff G. on 4/9 @ 1:02 pm #

    Well, I’m Italian. But I’m not from the southern part. More like Milan. Which explains the impeccable fashion sense, I guess.

    Sweet sassy molassy, when I think of you and your fashion sense nothing else comes to mind except those cut-off jean shorts you wore in that HotAir video where you played a paleo-con propossing something about the hidden jewish menace or something.

    Good times, good times.

    Now I’m getting all verklemt, thinking about the past…