Just received an email from Antik denim asking me if I wouldn’t mind removing the rear tags and signature stitching from my Antik “McQueen” jeans. Because while Antik has always liked the way I look in the jeans, they are nevertheless “more and more alarmed,” they tell me, by my “propensity to clench my ass” in a manner that “some might construe as aggressive and potentially violent. Or maybe racist.”
What an odd email. Right?
update: related.
I would check the IP on that one. That may be Andrew Sullivan. He has a thing about ass scratching.
On the other hand, without the back pockets and stitching, you’ve got the makings of some fine ass-less chaps there. OUTLAW!
I tried to buy a pair of those jeans once. The SWAT team was prompt and professional, but a little bit embarrassed I think.
I expect any day now you’ll hear from Rupert Murdoch about your tagline. It uses the word “news,” which is a registered trademark of News Corp.
Any day now.
Just you watch.
Dare I say it? Of course, Racist!!
As I approached my lovely bride in my newly crotchless jeans, she dashed my hopes and my libido by rolling her eyes and saying, in a most exasperated voice, “No, Squid — that’s not what I meant when I said you need to cut out your antics.”
I heard that Jeff’s former paper boy wants him to erase all memory of his existence from his mind, having become alarmed at what is now being published in the Rocky Mountain News.
Or something.
You think you have it bad?
Brittania Jeans just called and said I have to return all the pairs of their jeans from the ’70’s that I have in storage (they don’t even fit anymore) as a result of the shabby treatment UK PM Gordon Brown received from The One.
I can only imagine that the next call will be someone from Schotkzy’s re-calling my poppy seed bagels after what happened to Israeli PM Netanyahu in DC earlier this week.
The good news?
My Persian carpets are probably safe.
Clench it one more time and we will unleash unprecedented nuclear strikes on your ass.
Jeff – A perfect illustration, in regards to that last link – Bart Stupak. Last week, when he was a no, he reported that he was getting harrassing phone calls, etc, his wife had to leave the phone off the hook. But, did they record and play these horrible things for the media? No.
This week? When it’s the rabid right wing? they’ve got the messages being played on local radio and Nancy Pelosi is clutching her pearls in fear.
Jeff,
You are priceless to us PWers. If some asshole academic wants you to shut up, I would wear that as a badge of honor.
Too bad that he was one of your teachers. Shame is a particularly rare commodity these days, and this man apparently doesn’t realize it. Not your problem, you stupid JFK Democrat!
This man is not teaching anything but shit if he wants you to shut up.
PLEASE don’t ever “shut up”. You are always a breath of fresh air in our newly minted “progg” society. You have no idea how valuable you are to this community of lunatics.
Just believe me, even if you can’t get your mind around it…
Can’t figure what spurs a bunch like this to get their knickers wrapped up in a twist just as the world is going their way; their every wish is coming in just as they’d hoped; power flows just as they wanted it to flow; mere disagreement by their opposition can be ignored just as they prayed it would be ignored; their allies have their hands on every lever of influence in the country and this, this is the time to cut out any association with the plebes, as though the plebes could do them harm? Man, what a stringent life they lead, these masters of ours, who don’t even want to be seen bossing us around for concern of the taint.
“Sdferr, they are campaigning for November. They have what they want now, and they want to keep it. Their favorite tactic is clearing the field, because arguing their ideas honestly is very risky. The risk is managed by intimidation and demonetization, so that’s what they do.
But really Lee, the teacher-novelist guy, Kiteley? Campaigning?
And another bit of Jeff goes down the memory hole.
Oh, well I don’t know that Kiteley’s motivation is his politics. I think he’s just been convinced Jeff has become wacky, and want’s to distance himself.
A coward in other words.
“You’re dead to me.”
#1: Not to mention making sure that his glutes clench really powerfully…. 8 plates worth, IIRC.
A little clenching now and then can be salutary.
http://nolanimrod.com/2010/03/25/dont-turn-around/
Nah…more likely he (the paper boy) just Wants His Two Dollars.