Anybody catch the most recent Red Neck olympics? ‘Cause you missed some good stuff if not, I can tell you that much.

For instance, I saw some sum’bitch spit a watermelon seed 147 yards into an old Crisco can — without even taking the piece of straw he was chewing on out of his mouth!

Granted, the banjo pickin’, cousin bangin’, stockcar racin’ “triathelon” struck me as kinda strange — but at least afterwards the participants wiped themselves off and got together for some barbecue.

Ummm. Cobbed corn and chicken and pulled pork and ribs and greens… A truly voluptuous barbecue, that was.

And the punch didn’t hurt any, either. Or those hand-rolled “cigarettes”.

Man, can country folk ever party…!