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Corey Haim’s “Notes from the Afterlife,” 2

So I’ve been bumming around Heaven for the past week or so, trying to get a good lay of the land, and really, from what I’ve seen so far, it isn’t all that different from West Hollywood, what with most of your angels dressed in Ed Hardy t-shirts, and Brittany Murphy still willing to give you hand release for a bump or a loose pill — or, if she’s really jonesing, whatever’s left at the bottom of your Super Big Gulp once you can’t choke down another freakin’ drop.

On the flip side, I haven’t as of yet been able to find a decent fish taco. So there’s that.

0 Replies to “Corey Haim’s “Notes from the Afterlife,” 2”

  1. R. Sherman says:

    That last sentence is rather surprising.

    Regards.

  2. Squid says:

    Shermin, I think you’ll find that the Sea of Galilee and Heaven are not exactly the same place.

  3. Jeff G. says:

    Not to mention, Corey Haim just maybe isn’t the most reliable of narrators.

  4. JD says:

    Imma gunna go get me a Super Big Gulp and see if I can find Brittany Murphy.

  5. Peter Graves says:

    “Corey Haim just maybe isn’t the most reliable of narrators.”

    No shit. Ed Hardy? I wouldn’t be caught alive in that crap. Where the hell would you put your tie?

  6. bigbooner says:

    Try the veal.

  7. mojo says:

    I always liked this guy’s cartoons. Saw one (can’t find it on the innernuts) of two guys in heaven – which looks like a bad Greyhound station, butts on the floor, broken windows, grafitti – and one is saying to the other “You know, somehow I thought it’d be a lot classier…”

  8. Joe says:

    Comment by JD on 3/19 @ 10:44 am #

    Imma gunna go get me a Super Big Gulp and see if I can find Brittany Murphy.

    Good idea but you are a couple of weeks late! Unless you want to go where she is, but I would not recommend that.

  9. Frontman says:

    Speaking of recent checkouts, just right now found out Alex Chilton has died. Damn. RIP Alex, thanks for the music.

  10. Jim in KC says:

    Speaking of frontmen, David Lee Roth is still alive and well.

    (Fish tacos. Gack.)

  11. TaiChiWawa says:

    Look up David Carradine, Corey; he’ll show you the ropes.

  12. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    I haven’t as of yet been able to find a decent fish taco.

    I guess Heaven isn’t near Baja.

    Can check that one off the list.

    Do you think Corey has a pin up of Rob Lowe in is Heavenly dorm room like he did in Lost Boys?

    Well, in the movie it was just a “bedroom”.

    Ya know…for a gay boy.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    And a sessy picture of Rob Lowe will put anybody on meth.

    Do they actually have dorm rooms in Heaven?

    If so, I call top bunk.

  13. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Brittany Murphy in a Big Gulp.

    What if I just load up a cherry coke Slurpee with a 100mg crushed Vicodin & OxyContin and slap an unsuspecting customer on the way out the door.

    Same/Same?

  14. baldilocks says:

    No fish tacos? That ain’t Heaven where he’s at.

  15. Pablo says:

    Yeah. Rubio’s would be evident in Heaven. If Corey comes across a Taco Bell, there’s some stuff we didn’t know about Corey. But hey, at least the food will be hot.

  16. ccoffer says:

    Perhaps he’s in the grave. Sheol. Some call it the pit.

  17. Alyosha says:

    I’ll bet that in heaven, everybody kind of rolls their eyes for a little bit but then they give Corey a bro-hug so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable.