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A Modest Proposal [Dan Collins]

I think that it’s about time that we stop standing athwart socialism, shouting, “Stop, douchebag!”

Let’s just face it: He won.

So, I think it’s meet and good that we start thinking about what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino, where we can all go to be nostalgic. I nominate Lileks and Iowahawk to help frame the idea. Maybe Obama will come to dedicate the Casino SuXxOr, or whatever we call it.

It’s Full Metal Jacket Reach-Around Saturday at No Sheeples Here, and Maggie’s Farm brings the links, too.

Naturally, Maggie Katzen wants to turn the whole thing into a cathouse.

290 Replies to “A Modest Proposal [Dan Collins]”

  1. Joe says:

    Ted Rall calls for Obama to resign.

    Then again, Rall called for the death penalty for Bush so put it in perspective.

    H/T: JWF

  2. Bob Reed says:

    Sorry Dan,

    Mebbe I’m too old-school, but this ex-flyboy wingnut would rather go down with guns blazin’ than ever have the jackboot of tyrrany across my throat…

    I mean, it’s bad enough right now that the prancing putz in the White House keeps trying to step on me and mine with his Gucci loafers!

    But, you know, that aside a nice trip to Vegas might be “relaxing”…

  3. Dan Collins says:

    Don’t worry, Bob. I’m not throwing in the towel; the intent is satirical. But I really do want to know what you all would like to see there. Cigarette girls?

  4. poon says:

    If you want to oppose socialism, it helps if you aren’t a big government type yourself.

    Because of the, you know…hypocrisy.

    And the whole credibility thing, too.

    Oh yeah, and the believability thingy as well.

  5. happyfeet says:

    The only for real way to oppose socialism is to work to hasten its failure I think. It has not as much to do with the noises you make as I wish it did.

  6. Dan Collins says:

    WTF are you talking about, poon?

  7. JD says:

    Poon – I suppose you are going to demonstrate where any of us have advocated for big government. Even if you were to have evidence of support of big government, that would in no way preclude us not supporting the massive government and takeovers of whole sectors of the economy that this dirty little Euro-socialist is trying to do.

    Now crawl back under your rock, you lying little fuck.

  8. Bob Reed says:

    Oh man poon,

    Nobody on the port side of the political spectrum can ever talk about the hypocrisy of others ever again…

    Between Pelosi, Reid, the MSM shills, and of course, the O!ne, you all practically will have a team picture inserted next to the definition of hypocrisy…

  9. poon says:

    If you voted straight-ticket Republican back in 2004 or 2006 after they had turned a budget surplus into a deficit, you just might be a socialist too.

    Look in the mirror…closer.

    Yep!

  10. Bob Reed says:

    Dan,

    I vote yea on the cigarette. Especially the bosomy kind in strapless bunny outfits…
    Mebbe more sheer than the velvet or satin ones they used to wear though…

    That, and ladies of the same spec delivering “cool drinks” all around…

    And ladies, before you label me a misogynist, I vote for a lounge where gentlemen will do the same for you all; if you’d so like…

    Because I’m all fair and equal rights-ey like that…

  11. JD says:

    Poon’s construct is a typical Leftist bullshit meme.

  12. I vote for a lounge where gentlemen will do the same for you all; if you’d so like…

    um, I think I’d prefer my men in tuxes, though. or are you saying we’d get a bunch of cross-dressers? NTTAWWT.

  13. JD says:

    Now it is talking about the imaginary surplus prior to Bush being in office, based on the dot com bubble, and intense borrowing from Social Security. Is there anything that this asshat will not lie about?

  14. Dan Collins says:

    Don’t let poon jack the thread. It bites itself, it does.

  15. Bob Reed says:

    poon,

    What was my choices..? Vote for Kerry? or perhaps Schumer..?

    No Thanks, I preferred to register my disapproval to the bloated buget, especially the medicare prescription drug entitlement boondoggle, in writing, regularly, to my elected representitives..?

    What did you choose to do? Giant paper mache heads perhaps? Or was hanging/burning in effigy more your flay-vah..?

    Oh, and by the way, I didn’t, and won’t, oppose the war; both on terror, in Iraq, and in Afghanistan…

    It added comparatively little to the deficit, was (and is) the right thing to do, and will seen to be such in the years to come…

    I may not have agreed with the approach always, but would do it all over again…

  16. Bob Reed says:

    As I said Maggie; If you’d like…

    I kind of thought y’all might enjoy more refined fellows in a different tate of dress than we gentlemen would…

    After all, Vive le difference!

    Do you want white jackets and bow ties, or black jackets and cravats..?

  17. um, I’d say black jackets and cravats. and some kitties.

  18. Bob Reed says:

    Kitties in the breast pockets, with their little heads poking out, or free roaming about the room..?

    Free range kitties, as it were :)

  19. JD says:

    I think all of the taxis should be 4×4’s with gun racks, and the waitresses should all wear Daisy Dukes with a white oxford shirt ;-)

  20. why not both! THIS IS AMERICA!!!

  21. rationing kitties, good lord, Bob. what kind of commie pinko are you?

  22. Dan Collins says:

    Some of these proposals aren’t so modest: me likey.

  23. poon says:

    “Don’t let poon jack the thread. It bites itself, it does.”

    Just pointing out you guys stopped “standing athwart socialism” and jumped on the bandwagon back in 2002 or so, Dan.

    Sorry for pointing that out, but it had to be said.

  24. pdbuttons says:

    the long march buffett table

  25. Dan Collins says:

    Whom are you yammering at? Do you think we’re stalwart Republicans, here? Jesus, man, do some research. Meanwhile, you might want to put in a recommendation for a Troll Bar.

  26. JD says:

    You can say it, but it does not make it true, poon. In fact, it makes you a liar.

  27. also it needs bad gas station coffee that been sitting in the pot at least two days.

  28. apparently, I need more than one cup this morning.

  29. Bob Reed says:

    JD,

    White oxford shirts…With or without “restraining” devices for their ample, well, you know..?

    Sexist, inquiring minds wish to know…

  30. Bob Reed says:

    Maggie,

    NO KITTY RATIONING!!

    How about tiny ones for the breast pocket, in lieu of handkerchiefs, and larger ones all about the room..?

    Oh and lots of the boiled down, high octane, gas station coffee of which you speak..?

  31. pdbuttons says:

    las vegas is family friendly!
    featuring the khmer rouge waterpark
    with creepy kool-aid drinks served in skulls!
    turn one parent in/half-off!

  32. Silver Whistle says:

    I want a casino where Hairy Reid lookalikes clean the johns.

  33. sounds like a plan, Bob.

  34. poon says:

    See, Swift’s piece was funny because at the time, the rich weren’t actually eating poor Irish babies.

    In this case, where all “conservatives” support budget-busting…

    Oh silly me, I’m trying to explain humor to a Rightie.

    Gotta go watch my Tivoed copy of the Goode Family to remind myself why that’s a pointless task.

  35. JD says:

    Since it is going to be in Vegas, I suggest a Whack-A-Mole/Troll game, with pix of poon, Sammy, meya, and Gordo popping up.

  36. Silver Whistle says:

    Jeebus, Dan, isn’t there a minimum IQ for this blog? Can you card some of these trolls for subnormal status?

  37. I suppose that’s better than Whack-a-Kitty, JD. but… but… TEH CUTENESS!

  38. JD says:

    Bob – Free range. Duh. It is Vegas.

    poon – take your meds.

  39. Abe Froman says:

    Oh silly me, I’m trying to explain humor to a Rightie.

    If you understood humor you’d know how unintentionally funny you are.

  40. Bob Reed says:

    Maggie,

    That video is hilarious!

  41. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    …”the American descent into Marxism is happening with breathtaking speed.”

    Had to be Hannity said that right?

    No?

    Ok, Beck?

    No? Well shit.

    How bout Levin?

    Limbaugh?

    Nope.

    The answer my friends is Pravda.

    We have gone through the looking glass into some fucking alternate universe.

    Pravda speaks troof…and Bender Bending Rodriguez has a goat-tee.

  42. pdbuttons says:

    i vant my drink spiked…trotsky style

  43. Rob Crawford says:

    It’s been built, Dan. And there’s a reason Lileks owns a timeshare where it was built. Admittedly, you gotta dig around a little to find it, but…

    Head to Orlando, FL. Go into Disney’s Magic Kingdom, find “Futureworld” and the “Carousel of Progress”. Go in — it won’t be crowded — and you’ll get a fifteen, twenty minute recap of what free people accomplished from around 1900 to 2000. Even better, it’s got a catchy soundtrack that encapsulates American optimism and idealism:

    It’s great big, beautiful tomorrow,
    Starting at the end of every day!
    It’s a great big, beautiful tomorrow,
    And tomorrow’s just a day away!

    And:

    A man has a dream, and that’s the start,
    He follows his dream with mind and heart.
    And when it becomes a reality,
    It’s a dream come true, for you and me!

    Think of Disney when you read that — a farm kid with a newspaper route who parlayed a moderate talent for drawing into more Oscars and animation firsts than anyone else. A father who, annoyed at the poor quality of amusement parks of the day, created a whole new model for them that’s still unsurpassed.

    Head over to Liberty Square, where you can walk from New England fishing villages to the western frontier. Avoid the Hall of Presidents — it’s currently closed, but even once it’s open, well… They aim to be complete, so Johnson, Carter, and the current douchebag will all be there.

    There’s a shooting gallery over here. Frankly, it sucks, but that makes me think it’s authentic to what would have been peddled Back in the Day. The Haunted Mansion is a decent combination of Yankee ingenuity, American folklore, and goofy fun. If you don’t mind getting wet, ride Splash Mountain — it’s not just a water ride, and the characters it showcases are drawn from American folklore.

    On your way out of the park, grab a hotdog from Casey’s (another character from American folklore), and pay attention to the buildings along Main Street USA. Oh, sure, it’s all prettied-up and “Disneyfied”, but the architecture is drawn from the middle of the country, circa 1900.

    Then head over to Epcot. You can take the monorails, with just one change of train — and does anything say “America” like a privately-owned theme park with multiple mass transit systems? Then head to the back of Epcot, in the middle of the World Showcase.

    Go into the “American Adventure” pavilion. If you timed it right, you’ll get to hear some incredible singers (the “Voices of Liberty”) performing classic American songs acapella. There’s a little museum to one side with some information and artifacts from the lives of Ben Franklin and Mark Twain. There are paintings and quotes all around the atrium, including, unabashedly, one from Ayn Rand.

    Once they start loading the theater, you’ll walk through a gallery with 44 of the flags that have flown over the US.

    Inside the theater, there are a number of statues along the sides:

    As you sit down before the show, you will notice 12 statues, 6 on each side of the theater. These are the “Spirits of America.” On the left side of the theater, from front to back, are Individualism, Innovation, Tomorrow, Independence, Compassion, and Discovery . On the right side of the theater, from front to back, are Freedom, Heritage, Pioneering, Knowledge, Self-Reliance , and Adventure. They are all life-sized, and are highlighted during the final sequence of the show.

    The show, well, I’m not ashamed to admit I can’t even think about it without tearing up. No doubt there are people who sneer at it, who think it whitewashes our history. I don’t think it does, it just doesn’t dwell on the bad stuff.

    Oh, there’s plenty of leakage of modern idiocy into WDW. It’s a modern company, and they can’t avoid falling into some of the pieties. There are a number of eye-rollingly stupid quotes painted on the walls of the queue for the “Land” ride, for example, but they’re more than balanced by the content.

    If you want to freebase your Americana, get a table at the “Hoop de doo Revue”. All-you-can-eat fried chicken, ribs, corn bread, beer and sangria(!) with what has to be the all-time corniest show ever.

  44. Dan Collins says:

    Shhhhhh! I’m waiting for the part where poon proves by algebra that we endorse everything that we oppose.

  45. Dan Collins says:

    Rob, that’s awesome, but is there a Hooters?

  46. Bob Reed says:

    JD,

    I don’t know what I was thinkin’ on the free range thing…

    And, are you sure you want the servers to wear Dasisy Dukes, or maybe Catholic schoolgirl skirts..?

    Oh, and maybe you get a compromise going with Silver Whistle, and instead of whack-a-troll, with our fave PW denizens popping up, we can instead have Whack-a Pol; where Reid, Pelosi, Frank, Dodd, and the O!ne are the popinjaysw that recieve the beat-down…

    I’m sure the FBI will be kicking down my door any minute now…

  47. poon says:

    It’s okay, Dan.

    I know that saying “I stopped supporting Bush the moment he left office” is a coping mechanism for you Social..er “Conservatives” to get through the next 16 years or so.

    I’ll try not to pop the bubble.

  48. geoffb says:

    I’d like to rewrite this to be specific but it will have to do as is. Too many things to do on this Saturday. Quote from my pub post.

    This also leads to the belief that asserting or proving the fallibility of leaders on the Conservative side will cause those leaders to be rejected by Conservatives. When this doesn’t happen, because Conservatives don’t consider their leaders to be other than fallible humans, the Left finds it inexplicable. We must be in line with every move, every position, every word spoken by Bush, McCain, [Limbaugh, Glen Beck, ed] or any other person seen as a leader on the Right. When we aren’t, and find it amusing that they think we should, they are flummoxed.

    Obama’s gift of convincing all who hear him that he supports everything they believe was his greatest strength in campaigning. It will also prove to be his greatest weakness in governing. Actions can’t be fudged like words. Effects in the real world overshadow and will overwhelm his rhetoric. Hopefully before too much is destroyed in his wake.

  49. Dan Collins says:

    That’s because you uncritically endorse everything that Obama does or will do during his administration, right?

  50. Dan Collins says:

    The answer, I already know: That’s not true, for the difference is that I am I, you hater!

  51. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    …”Oh silly me, I’m trying to explain humor to a Rightie.”

    “The genius of a well-executed gag is that getting it requires nether schooling nor explanation. Nor does the humor appeal to the audience’s sense of superiority.” – A.O Scott

    Scott writes for the NYT poon, so I figured that’d be gospel to you.

    In short, if you have to explain a joke it isn’t funny.

  52. guinsPen says:

    what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino

    Jugglers !

  53. Silver Whistle says:

    Bob,

    How about Whizz-a-pol, where your fave politcos are tastefully inlaid mosaics in the porcelain ware?

  54. JD says:

    Why must the trolls argue with the voices in their heads?

    Boob Reed – Good ideas, all. I say we incorporate both, rather than choosing.

  55. ooooh, you know what else it needs? gun range.

  56. Darleen says:

    what Ted Rall writes

    In practice, Obama wants to let government goons snatch you, me and anyone else they deem annoying off the street.

    Preventive detention is the classic defining characteristic of a military dictatorship. Because dictatorial regimes rely on fear rather than consensus, their priority is self-preservation rather than improving their people’s lives. They worry obsessively over the one thing they can’t control, what George Orwell called “thoughtcrime” — contempt for rulers that might someday translate to direct action.

    Yet the Leftcultist Rall is mad at Barry because he’s not putting healthcare (17% of GDP) under Government control. And “thoughtcrimes”? Bet Rall fully supports “hate crime” legislation.

    But, being a Leftcultist means never having to actually think through one’s positions.

  57. Bob Reed says:

    SW,

    You have hit upon a fab-u-lous product idea! In fact, I may just do that in my own facilities here at home!

    What would be excellent would to have an artist paint there faces in toilet bowls, with the mouth area serving as the, er, recepticle, before the bowls are fired…

    Then, instead of the usual phenomenon of politicians talking schiess, they would appear to be eating it instead-regularly!

    I think you’ve hit on a marketable idea…

    Mebbe Dan will let us have them in the casino rest rooms…

  58. Rob Crawford says:

    Rob, that’s awesome, but is there a Hooters?

    Probably one near by.

    Failing that, keep in mind that the various pavilions in the “World Showcase” are staffed by college students from the respective countries. Typically female college students.

  59. guinsPen says:

    I’d prefer my men in tuxes

    Sweet.

  60. Silver Whistle says:

    Bob,

    Rumour has it that the comedian Spike Milligan had something similar in his convenience. I’ll wait for Poon to tell me if it is funny.

  61. Bob Reed says:

    Good idea SW,

    Since being on the port side of the poitical spectrum imbues one with absolute moral authority!

  62. Darleen says:

    #12 maggie

    Yes, I’ve always preferred black tie, too.

  63. Bob Reed says:

    Brilliant idea Maggie!,

    Can I request that the comely servers bring deliver more ammo to the shooters?

    They can have hearing protectors, of course…

    I don’t want to get in trouble with OSHA…

    I don’t think that the kitties would enjoy the loud report of the firearms though…

  64. Phil says:

    It’s okay, Dan.

    I know that saying “I stopped supporting Bush the moment he left office” is a coping mechanism for you Social..er “Conservatives” to get through the next 16 years or so.

    I’ll try not to pop the bubble.

    Poon, didn’t you claim to be a “pragmatic” conservative when you first got here? Does your mother know you lie so blatantly?

  65. Phil says:

    Who exactly is Ted Rall writing for these days? I thought he got fired from his job peddling shit drawing cartoons?

  66. JD says:

    Phil – the lying dishonest partisan hack has abandoned the pretense of it being a conservative. It was not capable of maintaining such a blatant farce, it was too much even for a Leftist.

  67. poon says:

    “Poon, didn’t you claim to be a “pragmatic” conservative when you first got here?”

    That’s the wonderful thing about the web, Phil.

    You can claim to be whatever you want without having to do any heavy lifting.

    So, I can be a conservative just by saying I’m a conservative.

    Just like Dan.

  68. Joe says:

    As my four year old was apt to say (she is five now and has stopped saying it so much): “Red Light!”

  69. Darleen says:

    “poon” is an obvious coward.

  70. Phil says:

    That’s the wonderful thing about the web, Phil.

    You can claim to be whatever you want without having to do any heavy lifting.

    So, I can be a conservative just by saying I’m a conservative.

    Just like Dan.

    One wonders what the joy of pretending to be a conservative on a conservative blog is exactly. Is it Matt Yglesias just doing a scoop for Journolist? Or is poon just a crazy person?

    Since this is the Internets, I guess that’s just between poon and poon’s mom.

  71. Bob Reed says:

    poon,

    Admissions of lying don’t do much for your credibility…

    Except, of course, in the Democratic party…

    It’s a resume builder there…

    Among the PW’ers..? Not so much…

    Admitting that you’re just another internet anonymous superman don’t impress me much…

  72. JD says:

    Poon – please demonstrate for us the positions that Dan has taken that led you to conclude he is not conservative.

  73. JD says:

    That did teach us much about its style and values … It’s the internet, poon can just make shit up!

  74. Rod Dreher is working on a book wherein he suggests true conservatives might retire to isolated communities where we can practice our ‘traditional values’ in private.

    Maybe we should think of this as a reservation casino, instead?

  75. poon says:

    “please demonstrate for us the positions that Dan has taken”

    It’s not the positions you take that make you a Conservative, JD.

    It’s how you live your life.

  76. SBP says:

    Just pointing out you guys stopped “standing athwart socialism” and jumped on the bandwagon back in 2002 or so, Dan.

    Liar.

    You know, McDonald’s is open and taking applications every day, PudgeO. It would make your Daddy really happy if you went down there and filled one out. Also the “wife” would no doubt enjoy having a little spending money for a change.

    How many years has it been since you had a job again?

  77. guinsPen says:

    what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino

    Dancers !

    The Amazing Poon Dance

  78. JD says:

    So, demonstrate that we do not live our lives according to our values. This should be rich.

  79. SBP says:

    “poon” is an obvious coward.

    “poon” is a useless parasite.

    I’m not quite sure how he’s planning to survive once his Daddy passes on.

  80. Bob Reed says:

    Living your life by the measure and standards one professes is called “integrity” poon…

    The opposite of integrity is hypocrisy…

    You know, like when you dream up budgets that increase the national debt by 25 trillion dollars over the next ten years, but tell focus groups “we have to quit lvin’ beyond our means” or telling CNN, “we’re broke”…

    Hypocrisy, it’s institutionalized among Democrats these days; along with lying…

  81. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “So, I can be a conservative just by saying I’m a conservative.”

    Holy shit. Poon is Arlen Specter!

    Or wait…maybe poon is Collin Powell.

    David Frum?

    Chris Buckley?

    Hold on. Do you have tits poon? Not moobs, the good kind.

    Could be Katleen Parker.

    Could be a helmet wearing retard.

    Could be a ham sandwich.

  82. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “It’s not the positions you take that make you a Conservative, JD.

    It’s how you live your life.”

    Some deep thoughts there.

    I was wrong. Poon is Jack Handy.

  83. Rob Crawford says:

    Do you guys know how stupid you look when you’re arguing with “poon”?

    Do you guys realize that’s his point?

    Ignore him. Ban him. Track him down and rodger him with a nail-studded 2×4. Any of those is smarter than arguing with him.

  84. poon says:

    “So, demonstrate that we do not live our lives according to our values. ”

    A real Conservative wouldn’t piss their Saturday away plunking around on the internet for starters, JD.

    They’d be doing something productive.

    Lead by example and all that.

  85. SBP says:

    They’d be doing something productive.

    You mean like looking for a job, “poon”?

  86. Bob Reed says:

    A real Conservative wouldn’t piss their Saturday away plunking around on the internet for starters…”

    Unless, of course, our efforts to date had afforded us a life of such comfort that we could choose to do so…

  87. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “Do you guys know how stupid you look when you’re arguing with “poon”?”

    I think it’s less “argument” and more, ya know, pointing and laughing, but you have a point.

  88. JD says:

    I love it when I am lectured by a dishonest parasitic liar abou how to live my life. Apparently, in poons’s world, you cannot be conservative and have opinions.

  89. you cannot be conservative and have opinions.

    well, you can. just not on Saturday… or on the interwebs.

  90. SBP says:

    It’s really amusing that a useless parasite like “poon” tries to lecture actual productive members of society about what they should do with their free time.

  91. Rob Crawford says:

    I think it’s less “argument” and more, ya know, pointing and laughing, but you have a point.

    There’s an old saying about wrestling pigs, and a newer one about competing in the Special Olympics that applies.

  92. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “A real Conservative wouldn’t piss their Saturday away plunking around on the internet for starters, JD.”

    But a real progressive would? LMAO.

    I’m sittin’ out by the pool “productively” drinking beer with friends. Heard of wi-fi have ya? There are six people out here laughing at your dumb progressive “unproductive” ass right now.

  93. JD says:

    I am actually at the movie theatre. I took my 7 year old angel and 3 of her friends to a double feature of Up and Night at the Smithsonian.

    Poon – the theatre is advertising for people to clean floors between movies. Interested?

  94. SBP says:

    What did you think of Up, JD? Entertaining for adults as well as kids?

    I normally like Pixar stuff quite a bit, but the trailers I’ve seen make this one look more like a kiddie sort of thing.

  95. Darleen says:

    well, you can. just not on Saturday… or on the interwebs

    Ah, “poon” is just channeling M’chelle O! when she admonished everyone that her husband wouldn’t let us choose how we get to spend out own time any more.

    You can’t “remake” the hoi poloi until you destroy them first.

  96. Rob Crawford says:

    I’ve loaded the dish washer, fixed whatever had my email constipated, cleared the Dunwich Borers building in “Fallout 3”, did some shopping, and may head out in a little while to hunt for ammo and pick up some sushi.

  97. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “Poon – the theatre is advertising for people to clean floors between movies. Interested?”

    Wrong kinda theatre for poon to wanna clean the floors, IYKWISandITYD.

  98. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    …”and may head out in a little while to hunt for ammo and pick up some sushi.”

    There’s Japanese dudes that’ll make that sushi for you…you don’t have to shoot it.

  99. happyfeet says:

    Pixar could never afford ever ever to release a movie that skewed too young. I think they’d dtv it before they released something like that. Well, Pixar would have. Disney is retarded to where they’ll happily damage their brands for short-term gain cause of they are retarded. But I bet Up tests well with adults or we would have already heard some severely negative buzz.

  100. poon says:

    “Unless, of course, our efforts to date had afforded us a life of such comfort that we could choose to do so…”

    Sorry, Bob, it doesn’t work that way.

    No resting on your laurels.

    Surely there’s something more productive you can be doing today?

    Something needs fixing around the house?

    Your kids need your help to get better at something?

    Somebody in your neighborhood needs a helping hand?

    Get to it real Conservatives!

    No laying about like some dirty f*king hippie chatting with some dude called poon!

  101. Rob Crawford says:

    There’s Japanese dudes that’ll make that sushi for you…you don’t have to shoot it.

    They say that about pork, too, but it’s just not the same.

  102. SBP says:

    Surely there’s something more productive you can be doing today?

    You mean like looking for a job, “poon”?

    Why don’t you tell us all the productive things you’ve done today?

  103. Abe Froman says:

    You don’t seem like a hippie, poon. More like your standard-issue wounded bird who is still trying to recover from high school.

  104. SBP says:

    Thanks, hf. Maybe I’ll check it out.

  105. JD says:

    SBP – It is alright, so far. The 3D stuff is pretty cool. It has enough adult in it to make it not painful to sit through.

    Poon – hurry. I know the owner, and she is hiring. If you call soon, you might be able to get something.

  106. SBP says:

    I think “poon” claimed to be “disabled” at one point. Clearly he has no trouble typing on a keyboard for 7-8-9-10 hours a day, so I suspect that he’s capable of SOME form of gainful employment.

  107. SBP says:

    Thanks JD. I’ll have to check to see if it’s showing in 3D here — usually they do that, but not always.

  108. gus says:

    He’s a pussy. Poontang is what he is. He thinks this is all a joke. He won’t when somebody blows his head off in the coming years.

  109. JD says:

    I preferred Night at the Smithsonian. That was far more entertaining.

  110. SBP says:

    Back on topic:

    Bumper cars using Hummers refitted with vintage engines which burn leaded gas.
    Jarts court.
    Mandatory smoking in all public areas.
    Meat bar (like a salad bar, but nothing but beef, pork, chicken, turkey, mutton, kangaroo…)

  111. JD says:

    SBP – Simply brilliant.

  112. Dan Collins says:

    You know, poon, if you think we’re so dishonest, there’s no point in your being here.

    New rule: you’re going to use a verifiable name here, or you’re going to be nuked from my threads.

  113. Dan Collins says:

    And just so you know, while I was gone I installed another raised garden bed. Still need to fill it with dirt, after this beer.

  114. Bob Reed says:

    Actually, poon, I’ve attended to many of the items you listed; old habits die hard, I roll out of the rack around 0500 on most days…

    Except of course helping my children as I haven’t been blessed with any…

    But who knows, maybe I’ll work on that one too, later today…

    Enjoying the fruits of your efforts, the blessing you’ve been graced with, and the measures of your successes is part of the pursuit of hapiness, I believe…

    And, I know that your man O! insists that we do something to give back…

    I would suggest though, that I gave forward many years ago, when I was keepin’ his malingering but safe while he was toking it up in college…

    About the same time another Democrat paragon of absolute moral authority and metaphysical certitude was dismantling our military, much like your secular messiah is now…

  115. Bob Reed says:

    Have a couple Dan, they’re on us…

    and please, consider SBP’s suggestions for casino entertainment; they sound most awesome indeed…

    Tell me you’re drinking Guinness, right? Or is it too early in the day for dark beer..? A nic3 lager instead..?

    I’m such a beer philistine; it’s all Guinness, all day…

  116. guinsPen says:

    what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino

    Whiskey! Sexy! Nukey!

  117. guinsPen says:

    No seat belts neither.

  118. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “He won’t [think it’s a joke] when somebody blows his head off in the coming years.”

    Note to gus: Stop helping.

    Nobody here want’s poon’s “head blown off.”

    Jesus.

  119. Darleen says:

    Meat bar (like a salad bar, but nothing but beef, pork, chicken, turkey, mutton, kangaroo…)

    Years ago at Mammoth Mountain there was a restuarant called The Moguls (still there but under different management… the original owner passed away some years back) and one of its attractions (besides great food and service) was there was a sort of meat bar where you would pick out what you wanted and then take it to these wonderful huge grills and grill it yourself.

    Mmmmmmm…. bloody rare ribeye!

  120. Dan Collins says:

    Bob, I’m drinking Long Trail today. It was what was best value for the money at Costco.

  121. McGehee says:

    Meat bar (like a salad bar, but nothing but beef, pork, chicken, turkey, mutton, kangaroo…)

    …spotted owl, polar bear…

  122. Bob Reed says:

    Is it the Hefeweizen? That’s very refreshing on a sunny afternoon; but they go down dangerously easy…

    Used to be my favorite flavor when in south east Germany…

  123. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “I’m such a beer philistine; it’s all Guinness, all day…”

    Blasphemy!

    Yard work calls for Tecate, Negro Modello, or Dos Equis.

    None of that Corona bullshit.

    Guinness is for the pub…or to plug a gunshot wound.

  124. Dan Collins says:

    No, it’s the ale.

  125. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by poon on 5/30 @ 10:06 am #

    If you want to oppose socialism, it helps if you aren’t a big government type yourself.”

    We’re not.

    Moron.

  126. Bob Reed says:

    You know, you have a point LBD…

    I really need to get a keg-erator…

    These spent widget cans pile up too fast…

  127. JD says:

    In the long ago past, my favorite was Red Tail Ale, an amber made in small batches in the Central coast of CA.

  128. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by poon on 5/30 @ 10:20 am #

    If you voted straight-ticket Republican back in 2004 or 2006 after they had turned a budget surplus into a deficit”

    Well, sure, if you forget to mention that whole war thing.

    And of course the fact that under the Republicans the deficits were trending down, not up.

  129. N. O'Brain says:

    “featuring the khmer rouge waterpark”

    I’m trying to visualize it.

    Go down the water slide and get decapitated?

  130. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by poon on 5/30 @ 11:38 am #

    “Poon, didn’t you claim to be a “pragmatic” conservative when you first got here?”

    That’s the wonderful thing about the web, Phil.

    You can claim to be whatever you want without having to do any heavy lifting.”

    Ont the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.

    But EVERYONE knows you’re a moron.

  131. Dan Collins says:

    Ooh, I like the Red Tail, too.

  132. Phil says:

    Is it the Hefeweizen? That’s very refreshing on a sunny afternoon; but they go down dangerously easy…

    Used to be my favorite flavor when in south east Germany…

    Considering how sick I am at the moment, a Hefeweizen sounds great right about now.

    I’ve yet to find a doctor who recommends one while being sick but I’m going to keep looking!

  133. JD says:

    Dan – Have one for me ;-)

    Slap a dog and kick a cat while you are at it. Maybe starve a kid and an old person too. Maybe oppress a minority in the meantime.

  134. Bob Reed says:

    It’ll cure you Phil, I’m certain…

    I’m no doctor though, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn express recently…

  135. Silver Whistle says:

    I’m off to Vienna in a couple of weeks. Any beer recommendations?

  136. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    I’m a Texan so I’m a Shiner guy. Mother’s milk and all that.

    Fat Tire “seasonals” are excellent. Spaten Oktoberfest is crazy good. Those Germans and Belgians don’t fuck about.

    Never went in for the IPAs. Still dig Harps, Bass, New Castle, and Harvey’s Best (damn near impossible to find even in Dallas). Never had Red Tail.

  137. Rob Crawford says:

    Meat bar (like a salad bar, but nothing but beef, pork, chicken, turkey, mutton, kangaroo…)

    Brazilian barbecue. There’s usually a token salad bar, but the real point of them is the meat. Waiters bring meat to your table. Until you tell them to stop.

    And you can tell them to start back up again.

  138. Bob Reed says:

    There’s a lot of nice beergardens and beerhalls there, I recall…

    I believe that Hefeweizen were popular. As with Germany there are a lot of local small breweries. But you can’t go wrong with what’s on tap at the beerhall!

    Times change though, last time I was there was 10 years ago…

  139. JD says:

    Rob – Those are sensational. Ate at one called Brazzaz in Chicago. Fogo de Chao in Dallas, and Brazilia in Indy. Meatlovers paradise.

  140. TaiChiWawa says:

    Any beer recommendations?

    Large quantities.

  141. Phil says:

    “Any beer recommendations?”

    Large quantities.

    We have a winner.

  142. McGehee says:

    Any beer recommendations?

    Glenlivet.

    […]

    What? They tell me beer is bad for Type 2 diabetes.

  143. Silver Whistle says:

    Thanks guys. You want anything from duty free?

  144. sdferr says:

    SW, though not beer, my dad used to recommend the wine of the Rust region, just 30 miles SSE of Wien.

  145. bh says:

    I think some thought should be given towards merging the shooting range and the meat bar.

    Towards the beer talk, I have to make a brief pitch for homebrewing. Best hobby I ever picked up. Now I have four or five different imperial stouts sitting in my basement at all times. Hmmm…

  146. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    …”Fogo de Chao in Dallas”…

    Is quite good, but I have trouble saying the name out loud without sounding completely gay (NTTAWWT).

    Friend: “Where’d ya’ll go eat?”
    Me: “We ate at Fogo de…Jakes…we got burgers at Jakes.”

  147. Silver Whistle says:

    Thanks, sdferr. I’ll look for a bottle. I like dessert wines.

  148. RTO Trainer says:

    So put a microbrewery in the casino too.

  149. Bob Reed says:

    Thanks for the offer SW,

    But, all I’d like is someone strongly resembling Katerina Witt…

    And I don’t think my wife would care for that too much!

  150. sdferr says:

    “Just Rust” used to make him happy (he shared a bit of an eiswein with me). Though it was 30 yrs ago then, it may still be available.

  151. Rob Crawford says:

    I think some thought should be given towards merging the shooting range and the meat bar.

    A couple of months ago, the team at work went to a shooting range. We had planned to go to Burbank’s Real BBQ afterwards, but the team vegetarian shot that down.

  152. serr8d says:

    Ahhh, the productivity of a Saturday. I just finished bolting in the repaired transaxle, grabbed a bite and will finally get to mow my yard.

    Then, a painting chore…I had the gutters ripped off, and now the fascia calls. New 6″ gutters going in next Tuesday (if it doesn’t rain).

  153. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “Now I have four or five different imperial stouts sitting in my basement at all times.”

    Imperial Stouts? Like Storm Troopers?

    First…cool. So Vader’s Storm Troopers just hang out all day drinking beer in your basement?

    Second…you fascist!

    I, as a compassionate (read: ruthless) conservative/ libertarian/ occasional-slacker, have four or five non-judgmental, laid back hydroponic plants in my basement.

    However, they don’t drink beer and have no discernible opinion whatsoever.

  154. Silver Whistle says:

    This will have to do for now, Bob.

  155. bh says:

    Heh, Lamont, before I started ordering supplies online I bought my yeast and hops at a place called Brew and Grow. Half homebrewing and half, uhhh, indoor tomato growing. Same DIY spirit, but the homebrewers don’t have to buy any super expensive lightbulbs and mylar.

  156. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    serr8d [Ripley]!

    HEY!!

    You’ve blown the transaxle. You’re just grinding metal!

    Ease down…ease down…..ease down.

    There….

    Good job getting Hicks, Vasquez, and Hudson out.

    That fucking Gorman.

    How do I get out of this chicken shit outfit?

  157. Bob Reed says:

    Wunderbar SW,

    Ach du lieber, Meine Liebschien!
    Noch mein Herz…Katerina ist meine Lieblings…

    Vielen Dank SW

  158. bh says:

    Anyone else now giving serious consideration towards hitting a Brazilian barbecue tonight?

    Oh yeah, at the casino I don’t want mints on the pillow, I want a pack of baseball cards with that hard strip of pink gum inside.

  159. dicentra says:

    And ladies, before you label me a misogynist, I vote for a lounge where gentlemen will do the same for you all; if you’d so like…

    No, no, no! If you want the equivalent fantasy world for chicks, you have to go the bonnet route.

    The woman gets to dress up as her favorite romantic heroine and be romanced by her favorite leading man.

    Like this:

    Elizabeth Barret and Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice
    Either of the Dashwood sisters from Sense and Sensibility and their respective suitors.
    Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester
    Catherine and Heathcliffe from Wuthering Heights
    The Doctor (your choice of regeneration) and his charming companion from Doctor Who

    Etc.

    Then she gets to play-act the whole book/movie as the heroine with the dashing lead man.

    Seriously, that’s what women want. Not beefcake: ROMANCE!

  160. Silver Whistle says:

    Vorsicht, mein Freund.

  161. dicentra says:

    Anyone else now giving serious consideration towards hitting a Brazilian barbecue tonight?

    The best Brazilian barbecue is Rodizio Grill, in SLC, Fort Collins, and Denver. You have the option to pay a flat rate, then waiters with various interesting meats on skewers come to your table and you slice off as much of the delectable stuff as you can handle.

    Do they serve vegans? Of course! What do you think is on the skewers?

  162. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    bh,
    I have Mylar, but only because I’m building a LEM Moon Lander. Thought some rich Russian oligarch might wanna buy it, strap it on to a big rocket, and check out the Frau Mauro Highlands up close.

    Russians are fucking nuts like that.

    The expensive light bulbs are just for my tanning bed.

  163. JD says:

    Fogo de Chao for JD and the Clan tonite !!!!

    Dicentra – I always pictured romance as what Jay and Shannon Elizabeth had in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

  164. dicentra says:

    Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

    Ain’t seen it, but given that you’re a guy person, I can well imagine that we don’t see eye to eye on what constitutes romance.

    Back when Bill Maher was funny, he was mocking couples’ counseling. “They say to share your fantasies with each other. What? Are you kidding? Men think women’s fantasies are boring, and women think men’s fantasies are immoral.”

  165. Bob Reed says:

    SW,

    I assure you that I was addressing all of those comments to the picture of Katerina you provided…

    And, my wife’s German is only basic conversational!

  166. bh says:

    Many hehs, all around.

  167. Bob Reed says:

    Dicentra,

    As you wish, so we will make it so!

  168. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by Silver Whistle on 5/30 @ 1:07 pm #

    I’m off to Vienna in a couple of weeks. Any beer recommendations?”

    Drink as much as you can.

  169. Bob Reed says:

    Prtty good advice there , N. O’Brain

  170. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Dicentra,

    Romance died with Fabio’s old flaccid penis.

    Not speaking from experience…just something I read on a Clay Aiken fan site.

    Which I got to totally by accident.

    I swear.

    To God.

  171. JD says:

    Dicentra – how dare you question my concept of romance ? ;-). I once bought Better Half a vacuum cleaner for Vaentine’s Day, and a Milwaukee Sawz-all for christmas.

  172. dicentra says:

    Dicentra,

    As you wish, so we will make it so!

    Fantastic! But I have a few specific requests: For Mr. Darcy, Matthew Macfadyen (from the Keira Knightley version). For The Doctor, David Tennant. For Heathcliffe, Tom Hardy, although he’s one scary dude. For Colonel Brandon, Greg House, MD.

    That will do for now.

  173. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by Silver Whistle on 5/30 @ 1:27 pm #

    Thanks guys. You want anything from duty free?”

    An imperial quart of Mowmore Islay single malt.

    And jaffa cakes, jelly babies and Bisto.

  174. dicentra says:

    how dare you question my concept of romance?

    I don’t question it: I just recognize that it’s different from mine. :D

    And getting a vacuum cleaner for Valentine’s Day is perfectly appropriate if she asked for one.

  175. N. O'Brain says:

    The Bisto is so Scottish Kate can make mince and taties. And beef stew.

  176. N. O'Brain says:

    Bowmore Islay……

    Sheeesh.

    Preview is my friemd.

  177. Rob Crawford says:

    For The Doctor, David Tennant

    Nope. Tom Baker. With The Watcher filling in during breaks.

    Sorry, but it just has to be that way.

  178. JD says:

    I think she asked for diamonds. Epic fail.

    The 55-gallon trash can and toaster for the birthday were big turds in the punchbowl too.

  179. JD says:

    Thanks to you guys, I get to go to Fogo de Chao tonite. I suspect Better Half is just softening me up for something, or bought some new Choo’s.

  180. guinsPen says:

    what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino

    ROMANCE!

    Semaphores!

  181. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “I’m off to Vienna in a couple of weeks. Any beer recommendations?”

    “Drink as much as you can.”

    Then drive a couple hours north east to Switzerland and rob a bank.

    Meet Bammy’s financial crisis head on and whatnot.

  182. Darleen says:

    And getting a vacuum cleaner for Valentine’s Day is perfectly appropriate if she asked for one.

    My birthday’s next month and I’m hoping for a paint sprayer (late summer project – refinishing the kitchen cabinets)

  183. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “The 55-gallon trash can”….

    The Hell you say…

    The 55-gallon trash can is a myth!

    If not, speak truth sir. Where do I get such a thing as to add to my bachelor laziness?

    And, do they make actual trash bags for it?

    If so, do I have to find a way to Narnia to buy ’em?

    Cuz…none of this shit is at CostCo.

  184. dicentra says:

    For The Doctor, David Tennant

    Nope. Tom Baker. With The Watcher filling in during breaks.

    Sorry, but it just has to be that way.

    Hey. My fantasy, my doctor. Why you think that I’d rather gad about the space-time continuum with The Scarf rather than that awesome coat I’ll never know.

    Semaphores!

    That’s one of my favorite episodes. Didn’t it feature The Spanish Inquisition, unexpectedly?

  185. Silver Whistle says:

    “Drink as much as you can.”

    I’ll do my best, but I’ll be meeting up with a Finnish colleague, who is an Olympic standard drinker.

  186. guinsPen says:

    Didn’t it feature The Spanish Inquisition, unexpectedly?

    -.– . …

  187. guinsPen says:

    Blast.

    dash-dot-dash-dash dot dot-dot-dot

  188. dicentra says:

    You coulda done it like this to prevent the auto-formatting thing.

    – . – –
    .
    . . .

  189. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “The Spanish Inquisition, Unexpectedly.”

    Emmy Award for best game show in Hell.*

    *hosted by Jeff Probst

  190. SBP says:

    The 55-gallon trash can is a myth!

    I suggest renting a disused church and living in the bell tower. I hear that works.

  191. SBP says:

    dicentra, I’ve always thought that Mr. Darcy was the role that Ernest Borgnine was BORN to play.

  192. N. O'Brain says:

    Nope, Broderick Crawford

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broderick_Crawford

    KEWL!

    http://www.highwaypatroltv.com/

    Watch the trailer……………

  193. Dash Rendar says:

    “I’m off to Vienna in a couple of weeks. Any beer recommendations?”

    Yea skip Vienna and head off to the Czech Rebuplic. They’ll liquor you up nice and proper (and mucho cheap).

  194. dicentra says:

    dicentra, I’ve always thought that Mr. Darcy was the role that Ernest Borgnine was BORN to play.

    Nope, Broderick Crawford

    Waaaaaaah! Youse gize are putting horrible images in my head!

    But I’ll show you: Helen Thomas in a glittery gold thong! Or take THIS!

  195. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “I suggest renting a disused church and living in the bell tower. I hear that works.”

    Excellent! I shall attempt to grow a hunch, find a disused bell tower, and get back to you.

    It does sound peaceful, but I think poon would find it “unproductive” for a “real conservative.”

    After all, it is a Saturday.

    I won’t be able to sleep tonight not knowing what poon thinks about my day full a’ whacky conservatism.

  196. N. O'Brain says:

    So, does the name “Quasimodo” ring a bell?

  197. N. O'Brain says:

    Sorry, I love that line.

  198. JD says:

    Lamont – Lowe’s or WMI. We just got 2 – 90-gallon ones on wheels last week. I almost ate my body weight in dead animals @ Fogo. Plus, they had Ahi tuna loin on a skewer, and I ate right off the sword. There is also now a shortage on the veal and lamb chops.

  199. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    JD,
    Right off the sword? You bastard. I am HUGELY jealous (glad it was good though).

    I’m stuck making Juicy Lucy’s for everybody over here tonight. Bout to sign off.

    Per your non Latina wisdom, I shall pick up “heaven’s trash can” at Lowe’s on Monday.

  200. SBP says:

    So that’s another thumbs up on Fogo, JD, I take it.

    You know, I’ve never quite figured out why veal is murder, but aborting an 8 month and 29 day fetus is perfectly fine.

  201. JD says:

    Two thumbs up on Fogo. Not quite as good as Brazzaz, but the Ahi set it apart. Good Allah, I bet I had a pound of seared Ahi alone. I think Squid and I ate at a place that claims to have invented and/or perfected Juicy Lucy’s.

  202. dicentra says:

    geoffb

    I learned something new today:

    touchdown = anotación

    “Notation.” Doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  203. geoffb says:

    I’m glad something came out of my inability to find that clip without subtitles. I had a Women’s room in mind also but the clip isn’t to be found.

  204. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “I think Squid and I ate at a place that claims to have invented and/or perfected Juicy Lucy’s.”

    Crazy good burgers. Ate one at 5-8 in Minneapolis. Incredible. They say they’re the first, but there’s some other joint in town says they were. It’s like “Famous Rays Pizza” in New York.

    I’m out for a while. Everybody have a great night.

  205. bh says:

    I never should have started thinking about Brazilian BBQ. Totally spaced out and forgot we were going out for dinner with a couple of my girl’s college friends before they had a ladies night out. Boooo!

    Turns out I’m never going to grow up and become a mature adult. One of her friends said I looked like her old college boyfriend, “but with no tattoos.” My reaction? I bet that guy smirked a lot, liked dumb emo music and I could beat him up if necessary. I simply know this, don’t ask me how.

  206. N. O'Brain says:

    Tattoos.

    Matt the Marines best bud (they went through basic together) gave the game away to Scottish Kate and said “You should see what’s on his back!”

    Well, two things Scottish Kate has always been against are joining the military and tattoos.

    Matt the Marine pulls up his udershirt and lo and behold there’s a huMONGOUS wolf’s head with USMC in script underneath.

    Well Scottish Kate goes off on Matt the Marine, berating him for not only joining the military, but for getting a tattoo.

    She turns to me and says “Well, what do you think?”

    I, in my innocence says “That’s really cool!”

    Well, now she has two targets for her wrath…..

  207. N. O'Brain says:

    And, just to update yawl, Matt is out of A-stan, somewhere in Gurglestan, and will be heading hoem sometime soon.

    We will be going down to Camp Lejuene to see the march in, hopefully.

  208. Darleen says:

    but the Ahi set it apart. Good Allah, I bet I had a pound of seared Ahi alone

    ooooo…. ok, where’s my towel to wipe the drool off my chin and the floor?

  209. bh says:

    N’OB, extrapolating off of just about nothing, I’m quite sure my tattooed doppelganger never even considered joining the military and his tattoos are all Chinese symbols representing things like “soft and effete” and “smug”.

  210. Darleen says:

    N O’Brain

    Good news on Matt!

    and I’ve gotten used to tatoos … all my girls have at least one.

  211. bh says:

    That’s great to hear, N. O’Brain.

  212. SBP says:

    Very glad to hear it, N.O’B.

  213. guinsPen says:

    God bless you and yours, OB.

  214. happyfeet says:

    I don’t unnerstand getting a tattoo and putting it where you can’t see it. Or maybe I do.

  215. JD says:

    Lamont – Minneapolis is where Squid and I were. He and his significantly more beautiful, kind, and intelligent bride took me to Matt’s, which is the other side of that “ours was first/best” ongoing argument. I cannot imagine one being better than the one I had.

    Darleen – I am still wanting more.

    N.O’Brain – my prayers remain with you and yours.

  216. guinsPen says:

    what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino

    Dead Wings !

  217. geoffb says:

    “Dead Wings !”

    Not tonight.

  218. sdferr says:

    Wheels!

  219. sdferr says:

    Did you all watch the game guins and geoff? I’ve tivoed it and will take your say so whether to watch it later or no.

  220. JD says:

    I have been watching Dwight Howard manhandle the Cavs tonite. He is a stud, and just learning how to play offense.

  221. geoffb says:

    Truthfully, I’d forgotten, do to things happening around here, until the post by guinsPen. Got to watch only the last 5 min.

  222. guinsPen says:

    Dead Wings !

    Gotta’ win four.

    Did you all watch the game

    Yes. Fleury had two own-goals. Good up and down action and hitting. Many chances, but wide-shooting Penguins.

  223. sdferr says:

    Damn, two? WTF?

  224. guinsPen says:

    No wait, I’ve demoted him again.

    Fleury Froggy had two own-goals.

    Netminders, they’ll break your heart.

  225. sdferr says:

    So you saw that four-step no-dribble spin move Mo Williams got to make (no call) in the third JD?

  226. JD says:

    Fleury – sounds French. Would not count on him to do anything but puke on himself.

  227. JD says:

    Sdferr – I cannot stand that shit. Ruins the game. The officials are horrible too. But they are still incredible players, and the best athletes in the world.

  228. bh says:

    The way I’ve come to re-appreciate basketball, sdferr, is to mentally change the rules. Traveling is now four or five steps, the pivot foot can change and palming isn’t illegal unless you actually put your hand underneath the ball when dribbling.

    Hey, it’s worked for me.

  229. sdferr says:

    But they are still incredible players, and the best athletes in the world.

    This is the truth of the thing entire. And the reason they oughtn’t to need to do the palming and traveling shit, the game is plenty pretty enough without it.

  230. bh says:

    Of course, what really ruined basketball for me was leaving a tiny rural conference where I was the only kid who could dunk the ball with one hand.

  231. guinsPen says:

    1st Period at 13:38–Leaves leg hanging outside of post instead of squaring up inside. Dump-in comes off the backboard, hits back of his heel, he flops and kicks it in off the back of his leg.

    2nd Period at 19:40–Flopping around outside the crease. Shot off the backboard is backhanded towards (the slot/a still flopping Fleury.) Bounces off parts of him, he flops some more and kicks it in off the back of his leg.

    Still, he’s my guy and he’ll be hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup this year.

  232. geoffb says:

    We shall see. Wings have been the only constant bright spot in Detroit sports my entire life.

  233. geoffb says:

    Good night all, church tomorrow. Got to sleep.

  234. JD says:

    Placing your trust in.a Frenchie will do that to you every time.

    bh – I thought I was good at hoops until I got to college.

  235. Mario ieuxLem says:

    Let’s say almost every time.

  236. bh says:

    Night, geoff.

    JD, in high school I played center at 6’4”. Yeah, turns out in college you need to be able to dribble, pass and shoot if you’re “short”.

  237. sdferr says:

    A Frenchie. No ordinary stickhandler though.

  238. JD says:

    The transition from above average small town player to walk-on at a Big 10 school was rather astounding. The learning curve was … steep.

  239. Pablo says:

    Gotta’ win four.

    But first, you gotta win one.

  240. guinsPen says:

    C’mon Pablo, my guy almost had the hat.

    Win one for teh kicker!

  241. bh says:

    Hey, JD, that’s nothing to scoff at. Sports-wise, the Big Ten is far above where I learned I wasn’t such hot shit.

    That same year, I also realized that lots of other kids were smart. Luckily, there were girls and beer to help with the pain.

  242. LTC John says:

    “the best athletes in the world”

    Er….I believe that would be Rugby players. Watch the Tri-Nations, Six Nations, Super-14s or World Cup sometime and wonder how humans can do such things and play again, much less walk off the field under their own power.

    God knows I wonder how I survived playing at the collegate and goofball DIV III level I did.

  243. Pablo says:

    My B’s are out, guinsPen. From here, I’m all snark.

  244. Pablo says:

    Ditto for the C’s.

  245. guinsPen says:

    I’m sure he feel shame.

  246. LTC John says:

    This you tell me as a Blackhawks fan?! I guess that third whisky was a good idea now…

  247. JD says:

    bh – I am not sure I have even fully learned that lesson, completely.

    LtC – Completely different skill sets. Dwight Howard, LeBron, D-wade, Kobe, Carmelo could excel at nearly any athletic endeavor they put some time to. The combination of size, strength, speed, and skill is amazing …

  248. guinsPen says:

    Caps? Canucks? Yotes? Habs?

    I’m assuming Bruins.

  249. bh says:

    LTC John, you know what’s tougher than playing rugby? Drinking with you maniacs.

  250. JD says:

    College rugby parties, otherwise known as 72 hours of debauchery, were incredible, from what I recall.

  251. Pablo says:

    Bruins and Celtics.

    Where have you gone, Kevin Garnett?

  252. bh says:

    I am not sure I have even fully learned that lesson, completely.

    That and throwing at a few batters in a row show why lots of guys aren’t cut out for elephant hunting.

  253. JD says:

    Anything is not possible, Pablo ;-)

  254. LTC John says:

    I dunno JD… the top international rugby guys are fast, can take constant collisons, have to play both ways and don’t get time outs, subs and such. They have to run, hit, push, throw and kick.

    Same guy that kicks a drop goal from 40 meters out will also smash you to the ground with a tackle, run like hell for 80 meters at a time and can throw a sideways spiral pass with a ball much larger than a US football – all whilst others are trying to knock his block off.

    Then they drink mightily.

  255. sdferr says:

    Rugby players, the best athletes human mechanized cavalry in the world.

  256. LTC John says:

    Dwight Howard would probably make a hell of a second row…or be the 8-man from Hades.

    But basketball is a contact sport, while rugby is a collison sport. Without pads.

  257. LTC John says:

    When I played for Illinois, we almost got a linebacker that used up his elegibility to come play a semester with us – but the CFL drafted him and they paid 6 figures. We just had fun parties.

  258. bh says:

    Btw, my comment at #255 was pro-cojones. Gotta have that confidence.

  259. JD says:

    Hunting elephant is far more safe so someone like me, less physical proximity, and actual contact.

  260. bh says:

    Oh, colloquially, on LaSalle we referred to guys who sold bigger ticket items as elephant hunters. Differentiates from guys selling cell phones or magazine subscriptions.

  261. guinsPen says:

    Bruins and Celtics.

    Oh, I thought both referred hockey. Pens/Hawks–1/1a, here.

    So, what sport do the Celtics play?

  262. JD says:

    LtC John and I are not only brilliant and dashingly handsome men, the kind that women want to be with and men want to be like, but we also happen to have gone to the same institution of higher learning. John got the learning. I got high.

    Kam’s – Home of the Drinkin’ Illini

  263. bh says:

    Oh, Illinois was it? I take it all back then. What? Minnesota was full of fags already?

    I hear Vassar was a good sports school.

  264. bh says:

    I’m not saying that badgers are dangerous bad ass animals. I don’t have to. We all knew that already.

  265. JD says:

    Bucky the fuckin’ wonder badger? State Street was fun and I enjoyed drinking in the Union up there ;-).

  266. JD says:

    I had no beef with most of the other schools, except for IU and Iowa, home over things less evolved than parmecia.

  267. bh says:

    Heh, I only support Bucky because I want to engage in the Big Ten (Big Eleventy now) smack talk and I’ve been crazily drunk all around there.

    Athletically, my school, the U of C, was mainly known for losing and crying like little girls.

  268. guinsPen says:

    U of C

    Maroons?

  269. JD says:

    Ironically, what you describe is what IU and Iowa are known for.

  270. guinsPen says:

    Chrysler !!!

  271. bh says:

    That’s right, guins. Oddly enough, we were in the Big Ten originally. But, because other schools weren’t interesting in winning WWII we had to give up our football field to make some nukes. Suck it, old Big Ten.

  272. LTC John says:

    Yeah, the only football stadium to have nuke waste buried under it. Go U of C Geiger Counters!!

  273. bh says:

    Stagg Field. Go Maroons.

  274. bh says:

    Yeah, the only football stadium to have nuke waste buried under it. Go U of C Geiger Counters!!

    Let that be a lesson to us all. Regardless of what the science fiction guys say, nuclear waste never made anyone a better athlete.

  275. LTC John says:

    Strangest school for a university – awe inspiring grad programs, whilst undergrads seem barely tolerated. Usually the undergrads pay the freight and are most of the numbers…

  276. sdferr says:

    UofC DivIII success stories.

  277. JD says:

    Goodnight, you racist sexist homophobes.

  278. bh says:

    Depends on your major, LTC John. Some of us went econ so we could just skip grad school. If you’re up on your math reqs, it’s the same classes.

  279. bh says:

    ‘Night, JD.

  280. Goodnight, you racist sexist homophobes.

    but… but… I just caught up after my nap.

    ‘night.

  281. sdferr says:

    JOM takes note of a night on the town.

  282. from the JOM link:

    Deputy Press Secretary Josh Earnest read a statement from Obama: “I am taking my wife to New York City because I promised her during the campaign that I would take her to a Broadway show after it was all finished.”
    Obama also promised a middle class tax cut and healthcare reform, but obviously those can wait.

    Let’s just say I get the impression that it’s very important to all of us that Michelle be kept happy. “Let the wookie win”

  283. bh says:

    Thanks for that link, sdferr. When I was there we had a pretty good women’s tennis team. That was about it. Maybe fencing too, but that’s not really football either way.

  284. geoffb says:

    Star Wars as politics.

    “Let the wookie win”

    That statement by C3PO is the main underlying principal of the political positions espoused by the Moderate/Pragmatics. The position of the Progressive/Left is the one expressed by Chewbacca just before that.

  285. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “Let the wookie win”

    Never understood that. Chewy was Han’s boy. And Han was a dick at first. Luke had a vested interest in R2D2 (R2 had the info that would let him rescue and, well, potentially fuck his sister…oh yeah, and blow up the Death Star and stuff too). Plus he had a light saber. Chewy had a good reach…and a crossbow.

    Luke was a pussy for not getting R2’s back and letting him whip Chewy in that weird hologram Dungeons & Dragons chess thinga-ma-jig.

  286. guinsPen says:

    what we’d like to have in an America-themed Las Vegas casino

    Pig Iron !

  287. geoffb says:

    Never understood that.

    At that particular point Luke is just a kid and Chewy is big and rips arms off.

    My point is the Moderates will bow to anyone who intimidates them.

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