These are the adventures of the Starship Goverprise, whose four-year mission is to seek out and destroy the American economy, to recreate the Constitution in the progressive image, to boldly fix everything that’s great about the United States.
(being a Serr8d joint)
“Captain, they’re firing up their disruptor beams!”
“Send their Commander an iPod with my speeches in it.”
“Captain, shields are down to 20%!”
“Open more hailing frequencies.”
“Captain, they’re crossing into the Neutral Zone!”
“Hey, could I just please finish my waffle?”
“Captain, the Denebian Ambassador would like to speak to you.”
“Thanks, sweetcheeks.”
“I’m a doctor, Barry, not an economist!”
“Whatever.”
“He’s dead, Barry!”
“Bones is kind of a weird nickname, you know?”
“Captain, it’s blown all to pieces!”
“I need that TelePrompTer now, Scotty.”
“Who gave the order for a low flyover of Taltos V?”
“You did, Sir!”
“By God, we’ll get to the bottom of this!”
“I calculate the odds against anyone returning as approximately 2578:1.”
“What’s Joe doing?”
“Hull breach on decks 13-16, Captain! Reporting major casualties!”
“Meh, those are mostly red decks.”
“Barry . . . remember: the needs of . . . the many . . . outweigh . . . the needs . . . of . . . the few.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Hey, listen buddy, my wagyu steak is ready.”
Q: How many Obamaphile Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take ll of the credit.
Q: How many Obamaphile Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to
self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.
Mr Sulu: ” Captain,Carrie Prejean is on the viewscreen-firing photon torpedoes.”
Q: How many Obamaphile Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: All of them! Provided the government is there to assist them.
And Happy Hitler, Mr. Sulu would not recognize Ms. Prejean’s missiles. He doesn’t have that inclination.
“Spock, what should we do?”
“Captain, to let this crisis go to waste would be most…illogical.”
P.S. Only one new face, Dan? Tell serr8d to get off his lazy bum and p-shop some more heads into that bridge crew!
No! I want to interject Barry into the original cast.
Q: How many members of the USS Obama Antienterprise does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: Six: Rahm Emanuel to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say “I canna do it, Cap’n! These bulbs are stoon dead”,
Bill Ayers to tell Obama he is proceeding illogically,
Sanjay Gupta to say “They’re dead, Barak!” and
“Dammit Mr. President-I’m a TV doctor not an electrician!!”,
Michele to screw it in, because she has massive guns and likes to screw things in…
and two red-shirt Republicans to die in the process.
I am just wondering who plays Khan because I need to know who to root for.
No! I want to interject Barry into the original cast.
And you’ve succeeded in making it look like Gary Coleman took over for James T.
Dammit!
“And Happy Hitler, Mr. Sulu would not recognize Ms. Prejean’s missiles. He doesn’t have that inclination.”
Mr. Sulu is very good at spotting certain types of missiles, just not Ms. Prejean’s protons (they are small, even if their base mounds were enhanced, and Mr. Sulu’s attention is focused on a different sector of the universe).
“Where the green women at?”
“Orion.”
“What?”
Bolt-on’s should be universally recognized, and appreciated ;-)
Scotty “The engines can’t take much more of this captain!!!!”
Obama “They will run on ethanol you are just not doing it right”
“General Order #24 is clear: We shall not interfere in the internal workings or the development of alien cultures … unless there are opportunities for institutionalized health care and widespread redistribution of wealth.
FIRE THE TAX BEAM!”
“Phazers on diplomacy!”
“Hahaha, thank you for the . . . how you say? gag gift, Madame Secretary Clinton, but the word does not translate as you say.”
“What does it say?”
“Happy annihilation!”
If… you’ve ever… listened to… Barack Obama… or Kirk as Shatner… you may have noticed… they have similar… speech! rhythms!
Denny Crane
[Bones feels economy’s pulse]
“He’s dead, Barry.”
Not fair!
Shatner’s never needed a teleprompter.
Plus Shatner can Sing!
(i denounce myself)
Beam me up Scotty Planet Obama sucks.
Hmmmm….The One did have Veeger at his coronation, too.
Thank you. That’s where I’ve heard him before, the cadence, not the principles or courage of course.
“The Romulans are firing Captain!”
“Set Deflector Shields to Rush!”
I wanna know who plays Balok. “But first, we must drink! This is tranya. I hope you relish it as much as I.”
They’re going to have to re-shoot “The Omega Glory” so we wind up on the side of the Coms. You know, the good guys fighting for justice and equality.
Hmmm… That seems obvious.
Indeed.
Shat: “I… am… Kee-rock!”
Bam: “I… am… Bee-rock!”
I thought I would share something I did a while ago, regarding the United Federation of Obama.
i believe sarah palin will be playing kahn.
“From the cold white north, I stab at thee obama.”
“TRIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!”
Apropos of nothing, this made me LOL today:
Steyn in NRO.
Seti Alpha 5 is similar to Alaska.
You Seti your Alpha on a block of ice.
I’ll pass.
This is actually too true to life. All the random guys on the away team that get offed in 2 minutes are just like all the random “staffers” that gets thrown under the bus to avoid blaming O!.
Pablo – That was not right. Not right at all.
I don’t know, JD. Arlen Spector says that Sarah would make a great Kahn. He also thinks that Spock would have been even more human if Nixon’s War on Personality Disorders had been funded by the Marley oated conservatives as part of an overarching War on all thinks Healthifull.
Arlen has lots and lots and lots of opinions, JD.
OBAMACARD: Instead of installing a destructive virus in Hugh the Islamoborg to destroy them all, we should inject them with the greatness of my incandescent charm. That should do it! Besides, he’s so adorable and human-like.
[two seasons later]
BORG NON-COLLECTIVE: JIHAAAAAAAAD!
#8 Joe
[Starship] Antienterprise.
Nice.
37. Comment by mishu on 5/5 @ 11:32 am #
Seti Alpha 5 is similar to Alaska.
“THIS IS CETI ALPHA 5 !!!!” Keeps yelling some angry old guy in downtown Detroit.
——–
Special Guest Star Janet NaPlanet as Harry Mudd.
And also starring Jon Stewart as Tremayne.
Captain Barry: Our, uh, mission, to go, uh, where no one has gone, ahh, before!
Bones: Barry, the Marxoskies came this way a century ago. They ran into vast suffering, misery, murder and chaos. This way lies death!
Captain Barry: Silence! I am, ahh, superior to the Marxokies best. True our ship, uh, is more flawed, and we must use deceit and, errr, distraction in charting our course, but with much hope, we can change the, uhh, sure fate of our actions.
Spock: Captain, change the sure fate? that is not logical.
Captain Barry: Spock. We. Must. Ahh, try! Can’t you see? It is the only, err, way! We must, uhh, escape the, ahh, immoral, though highly successful, ahh, fundamentally flawed Constitution of ,ahh, bygone days that everyone in the galaxy flocks to!
Spock: Captain, that’s highly..
Captain Barry: Silence! I swear Spock, I’ll have, uh, Uhura tell everyone in the universe about your funny ears and white mother, halfbreed!
Spock: Ahh, Captain, pot, kettle, black…
Captain Barry: Silence! Racist!
“Space, the, uh, final frontier. These are, um, the visages? Voyages! Speed up that teleprompter will you Scotty? These are the voyages ofthestarshipEnterpriseitsfiveyearmission — Dammit, Scotty, not that fast!”
I can almost see ‘Bammer sitting in the captain’s chair, eyes flicking left and right, as if Chekov and Sullu had teleprompters on the backs of their heads.
Very clever post.
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