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Scenes from the Iowahawk Soiree [Dan Collins]

and an appreciation of Brooksie Frumdreher III:

Thanks to Mr. Frumdreher for his contribution. (Young Dan says: “Really, the chap’s incorrigible!”) Some of you young people may not know it, but Mr. Frumdreher — “Brooksie,” as he is known to his small circle of influential friends — has long been a mentor to The Republicans Who Really, Really Matter:

* In 1951, Mr. Frumdreher catapulted to fame as a recent Yale grad with his book, Things Are Just Swell in New Haven, Thank You, a carefully reasoned rejoinder to a disrespectful screed by an impudent new-money Catholic arriviste. This earned Brooksie the “Young Alumni of the Year” award from his alma mater. The faculty, who had voted him Most Promising Senior in the Class of ’51, appreciated Mr. Frumdreher’s advocacy of a modern curriculum emphasizing Freudian psychology, abstract-impressionist art, anthropology, jazz criticism, and other “relevant” topics, as opposed to tedious drillwork in obsolete so-called “classics.”
* In 1952, Brooksie led the “Stop Taft” Committee, gallantly fighting to ensure that notorious right-winger Bob Taft did not get the Republican presidential nomination.
* In 1953, he published an op-ed column in the Washington Evening Star, “Really, Who Is This McCarthy Fellow, Anyway?” This column was widely credited with bolstering GOP opposition to irresponsible Red-baiting smearmongers.
* From 1954-60, Mr. Frumdreher served as ambassador plenipotentiary to the Organization of American States, where he sought to promote international harmony by undermining Latin American support for the brutal Somoza regime in Cuba. . . .

Those are just a few of the early milestones in Brooksie’s legendary career, as he has striven tirelessly to ensure that only well-bred and sophisticated intellectuals who went to The Right Schools excercise influence in the Grand Old Party.

Among The Republicans Who Really, Really Matter whom Mr. Frumdreher mentored during his recent Young Centrist Leadership Conference is a promising cyberspace activist rapidly gaining prominence on the Internet with his blog, Moderates for Mitt (motto: “We Can Go Either Way On That Issue”).

So, I’d like to stress once again that this is a matter of tone, which is something that is conveyed in the breeding. It’s not something you just don on the spur of the moment, like a pair of casual slacks. Try as you like, you may succeed technically, if you lack the correct background, but you will never convey the proper feeling.

38 Replies to “Scenes from the Iowahawk Soiree [Dan Collins]”

  1. Mr. Noonan McSullivan-Parkerfrum, Esq. says:

    You may think your thinly disguised contempt for those of us yearning to bring the conservative movement back into the fold of civil society has gone unnoticed. However, we of more mature and thoughtful timber will be enjoying the view from the clubhouse, while you intertube snot-noses are destined to press your nostrils to glass. Parvenus.

  2. rage virus says:

    PJ O’Rourke is still the only funny conservative.

    Also, italics should be used sparingly.

  3. Phil says:

    Jon Stewart now officially a propaganda arm of Baracky Administration:

    http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D96TBKH85&show_article=1

    Press secretary Robert Gibbs said he had spoken with President Barack Obama on Thursday about watching the Stewart-Cramer showdown.

    “I forgot to e-mail and remind him that it was on, so I don’t know if he’s seen it,” Gibbs said when asked by a reporter Friday. “I enjoyed it thoroughly.”

    The spokesman added: “Despite, even as Mr. Stewart said, that it may have been uncomfortable to conduct and uncomfortable to watch, I thought it was—I thought somebody asked a lot of tough questions.”

    I’m glad no one in the media is asking such tough questions of the government, since it’s doing such a wonderful fucking job.

  4. Jon Stewart. My boy, enjoying the fruits of capitalism from his new yorky penthouse. You go, girlfriend.

  5. One Thursday, I almost made it to a bus in downtown Los Angeles where scenes of blood and gore were on display, complete with commentary, through Esoteric Bus Tours. Later on, the great Iowahawk’s blog showed he rolled through town that exact same day, enjoying the seamiest tales of violence and mayhem out of Pasadena. Grr! The loss was all mine. He’s great (and so’s Dan).

  6. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Ah, yes. It’s always good to see descamisados like Stewart, Michael Moore, and Noam Chomsky proclaiming solidarity with Teh Working Class from their multiple luxury homes.

  7. pdbuttons says:

    i wish my ass spoke spanish
    cuz i’d order clash albums
    and mandolins

    caracas

    big dogs do bark-us

    yo protect yo yo
    bently

  8. Ghost of Sam Adams says:

    G-dd-mn it! Now I’ve got to round up some mobs again. Do you know how much tar and feathers cost these days?

  9. pdbuttons says:

    i donb’t mind chomp chomp chommpsky

    it’s the low tone he affects…

    i denouncemy
    my bounce-erey
    flee fuckery

    the sheriff is near!
    zzzz…

  10. pdbuttons says:

    tar-my off boot scrape/19 centa-vos
    feathers- i used to hug her/but it’s all over now[cluck]/lincolnpenny

    hearing the ghost of sam adams
    priceless

  11. Dan Collins says:

    Thank you, Vermont Neighbor.

  12. The Obvious says:

    Of course the problem with Stewart and the rest is they make Thurston Howell III seem accomplished and self effacing at the same time.

  13. Brooksie says:

    Collins, it’s obvious you’ve got the correct stuff, young man! You aren’t by any chance related to the Collinses of Provincetown, hmmm? Hope to see you at our next YCL confab in Palm Beach.

  14. guinsPen says:

    i wish my ass spoke spanish

    Be happy your tits speak terrapin.

  15. rage virus says:

    Jon Stewart is to Rush Limbaugh…

    (insert semi-witty pseudo-haiku here)

  16. The Last Samurai says:

    Pompus traitors rant
    Become the lefts sweetharts
    Outlaws rally around

  17. Dan Collins says:

    You know, rage virus is starting to seem a little katelike.

    And thank you, Stace, old boy, for the invite. I’ll discuss it with Mumsy.

  18. The Obvious says:

    Well, admittedly Limbaugh is funnier than Stewart, but really who isn’t?

  19. Jon Stewart is to Rush
    as
    Bambi is to Lincoln

  20. Sdferr says:

    I’m feeling more of a mendoucious moron tell there Dan.

  21. guinsPen says:

    JS is to Rush
    as
    Tooter is to Gamera

  22. happyfeet says:

    Jon Stewart is smug. It’s like an I’m a tv bimbo ha ha and you’re not sort of smug. But if he for real doesn’t know that he’s the Cramer of politics butcept on a less prestigious channel then his agent just hasn’t been honest with him I don’t think. That’s sad cause I feel like Mr. Stewart is foreclosing personal growth opportunity. Also he’s fruity.

  23. router says:

    what kind of topsiders do wear?

  24. happyfeet says:

    Fruity like those bouquets people send the receptionist what are made entirely out of fruit to where she has to get a pile of napkins from the kitchenette and everyone that walks up she has to say help yourself please please help yourself cause she doesn’t want it on her desk all day.

  25. Dan Collins says:

    Bwahahaha, hf!

  26. Dan Collins says:

    Is he fruitier than Crabtree & Evelyn?

  27. Patrick Cocksfeather IV of Yorkshire says:

    My my, I detect a rather sarcastic tone in posting number six. Silly old chap! Stewart proclaims solidarity with the hoi polloi not because he feels solidarity with them. Who could feel such a kinship with such uneducated know-nothing brutes?

    No my boy! We express such solidarity because without it, “the help” may demand annual raises and other such rubbish. Well…

    It was just the other day that I had to divest myself of His Majesty’s Cocksfeather, my flagship mega-yacht to pay Jose, Maria and Olga’s salaries for the ’09 calendar year! What rubbish!

    At this rate, they may be able to move into that growing neighborhood in Brooklyn, which is about one hour too close to my liking, to my humble abode in mid-town Manhattan where their betters live.

    Speaking of which, the other day I was reading the Sunday New York Times edition during my evening stroll when I ran into none other than Mr. David Brooks. A lovely chap I might add, and a gentleman of the highest pedigree. Perhaps poster number six will be lucky enough to meet Mr. Brooks and learn the finer points of civilized behavior.

    Now, if you don’t mind, I am off to my evening Ba-rack Obama themed dinner party. Unfortunately, due to a longer than expected game of polo in Greenwich, I have been unable to procure a gift thus far. If you happen to have a suggestion, I am open to suggestions. Maria will be happy to pass on all ideas.

    Sincerely,

    Patrick Cocksfeather IV of Yorkshire

  28. happyfeet says:

    I had to google that. They have a whole page on scenty things for your closets and drawers. I think Mr. Stewart probably has very scenty drawers already.

  29. router says:

    on the next episode of sanford & son:

    Still, the White House made several moves interpreted as snubs by the Brazilian media.

    Silva aides said the trip was pushed forward from Tuesday because of the St. Patrick’s Day holiday — making Latin America once again look like an afterthought. Then, the White House announcement misspelled his name as “Luis Ignacio” and put “Lula” — a nickname that decades ago became a legal part of the Brazilian leader’s name — in quotes.

    ?

  30. Sdferr says:

    It would be funny (the sad sort of funny mostly, but maybe a little of the other sort too) were foreign leaders to begin to reach out to the White House with the (natural, I think) inquiry during negotiations meant to precede a visit to the States “Hey, you all aren’t going to treat me like you did that Brown guy are you? Cause, y’know, if that’s on, I’m not coming.”

  31. Dan Collins says:

    Tally-ho, Patrick! Jolly, jolly good show!

  32. rage virus says:

    Speaking of which, the other day I was reading the Sunday New York Times edition during my evening stroll when I ran into none other than Mr. David Brooks.

    I’m surprised you would even come that close to the Hoi Polloi. I personally like to avoid such encounters via several forceful pokes from my trusty umbrella.

  33. router says:

    i think they think brownie is the fema guy

  34. Mike says:

    In the interests of controlling my own narrative and seizing the initiative and all, I would just like to say: FUCK Brooksie. In the heart. With sand in the KY.

    And the horse he rode in on.

    The real one, I mean. Not Stacy.

  35. Kirk says:

    That Jon Stewart is a discriminating viewer of the media. See, he missed all the Bush, Greenspan, and McCain warnings about teh banking sucks, but caught only Cramer being, well, Cramer. Good thing he never watched any Dodd or Frank. Just imagine his outrage.

  36. Dan Collins says:

    That was pretty unambiguous, Mike.

  37. pdbuttons says:

    my tally smells like
    sally..
    my tally ho
    smells like afro-sheen…
    charlie sheen…u lucky bast..
    keith richards

  38. takeshi kovacs says:

    The irony of this tale, is that Bill Buckley did exactly the opposite of what FrumDreher is alleged to do, he would be ‘rolling over in his grave’
    at the idiots, including his son, who have been left as stewards of the movement.

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