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Is That A Pocket Obama? [Dan Collins]

Or are you just Chris Matthews?

Printed in a size that easily fits into pocket or purse, this book is an anthology of quotations borrowed from Barack Obama’s speeches and writings. POCKET OBAMA serves as a reminder of the amazing power of oratory and the remarkable ability of this man to move people with his words. His superb and captivating oratory style has earned comparisons to John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, and this historic collection presents words that catapulted his remarkable rise to the American Presidency. It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.

Includes themes of democracy, politics, war, terrorism, race, community, jurisprudence, faith, personal responsibility, national identity, and above all, his hoped-for vision of a new America. POCKET OBAMA is a portable, everyday primer for readers who want to examine the substance of his thought and reflect on the next great chapter in the American story.

69 Replies to “Is That A Pocket Obama? [Dan Collins]”

  1. Carin says:

    Can I gag now?

  2. ThomasD says:

    When I was in China they tried to sell me a little red book. Of course, they also tried to sell me a Chairman Mao watch with a mechanically waving Mao arm.

    Guess which one I bought.

  3. Big D says:

    Before the man is canonized shouldn’t he have to , oh I don’t know, do something first?

  4. Carin says:

    It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.

    Is it red?

  5. Dan Collins says:

    Maybe I’ll ply her with dinner and some wine and give my wife a Pocket Obama tonight.

  6. Bob Reed says:

    Here we go…

    We’ve heard how he is Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Washington, and Jefferson…

    Now I guess we need to add Mao to that list!

    When will the MSM admit that this is just plain creepy, and a cult of personality; like Kim Jong Il…

  7. happyfeet says:

    Creepy fuck. It’s the historians what will end up hating him most I think. He’s gaying up history at an unprecedented pace.

  8. Does it come with a blue poopy suit? and a matching cap?

  9. geoffb says:

    When can I get the electronic version for my Blackberry? Can’t be a Borg unless you’re wired in.

  10. Carin says:

    Big D, I’m gonna have to denounce you. Your comment has that racist feel to it.

  11. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    I’m holding out for a Chia Obama.

  12. SarahW says:

    O’s lovely speaking voice, I’ve found, I can’t take in presidential doses. He’s like australian ginger with that soap taste if you eat more than two pieces. Turns out that he hurts my ears and is a relentlessly stentorian scold.

  13. SarahW says:

    I was kind of sick this past week and not quite myself. I ended up in the ER yesterday in a mild delirium. I’m told that when O came on TV the last few days, I would say “OW! shut up you windbag.” Usually I’m more polite to the TV.

  14. happyfeet says:

    oh. That’s terrible. Feel better, you, to where you don’t feel sick anymores.

  15. happyfeet says:

    I haven’t listened to Baracky at length since … I can’t remember really. I usually just read his crap. And mock it. Cause I hate him.

  16. geoffb says:

    In the 90’s my TV had a function where you could program 3 characters that would appear onscreen when you pushed “info” on the remote, “CBS”, “ABC”, etc. I programed “LIE” into all of them and it was helpful to get through the news and political programs.

    I wonder if my new set will do that too.

  17. Sdferr says:

    Iran’s two most powerful figures – Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who has final say on all state matters, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – have been unusually silent on Obama in the past months.

    They don’t know who he is any better than he does himself. He’s a cipher.

  18. Rob Crawford says:

    Maybe, Sdferr, they’re taking the tack of “never interrupt your opponent when he’s making a mistake”?

  19. Sdferr says:

    Could be Rob, you’re on to a possibility. I take it you’re thinking of his “open up to Iran” turd floated during the campaign, yes?

  20. Rob Crawford says:

    I’m just thinking of Democrat foreign policy in general. Maybe they’ll send Albright over to dance with them.

  21. McGehee says:

    I think I’ll get a little blue book and fill it with quotes from my own damn blog.

    “What? Your book doesn’t say that? You must have gotten one of those defective scam books. Mine came direct from Teh O!ne Himself.”

  22. Phil says:

    Fortunately for Baracky’s followers, any uncomfortable similarities between this and the mass murdering tyrant Mao’s Little Red Book can be disregarded since Pocket Obama isn’t full of Marxist propaganda and class warfare rhetoric doesn’t have a red cover. Completely different you see. When the gulags get built*, THAT’s when you need to start worrying.

    *by non-white construction workers of course

  23. bullfrog says:

    I did a brief search at that History Company website looking for anything comparable for a Republican prez. The best I could come up with was a bust of Reagan, which I’m thinking of ordering…. to crack the skulls of people vapid enough to buy Maobama’s Little Blue Book.

  24. mojo says:

    Sanity is not statistical.

  25. Sdferr says:

    Robert George recommending Republicans pay close attention to Obama’s words and actions and then apply the game theoretical principle of tit for tat.

  26. Rusty says:

    This so utterly last century socialist, it’s embarassing. This is the end of this country. The democratic party creates dolts.

  27. Sdferr says:

    Nah, they don’t make ’em, they just use ’em.

  28. Mikey NTH says:

    I love the hype. It’s so much like advertising. Like the Superbowl hype, but now it is ‘the kick-off’, and the clock runs for at least four years. Good luck running your plays, President Obama.

  29. Mikey NTH says:

    Rusty:

    Almost twenty years back I had dinner in a restaurant in Melvindale – ‘Three Brothers II’ – a Polish restaurant. (I think that was the name.) On the wall by the register there was a picture of the Pope, and a picture of Franklin Roosevelt.

    The cult of personality thing isn’t exactly new to American politics. I think the American Republic will survive this bout of worship, if history is anything to go by.

  30. B Moe says:

    If he is such a memorable speaker, how come I can’t think of one memorable line he has uttered.

    “You are likeable enough, Hillary.” is the only thing that comes to mind.

  31. Sdferr says:

    I remember this one pretty well B Moe:

    I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

  32. “I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community.”

  33. I see I just don’t even need to comment anymore…

  34. Dan Collins says:

    Disown? I thought it was “disarm.”

  35. B Moe says:

    How could I forget such soaring rhetoric?

  36. “I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody”

  37. Dan Collins says:

    It’s soared, SOARED into my memory.

  38. Sdferr says:

    Oh. Wait a minute. I think B Moe may have meant operative statements. My bad.

  39. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    A friend of mine claimed to have had a German great-grandfather who kept a picture of Kaiser Wilhelm II on his wall until the day he died.

  40. carp, that gives us, what? a couple day’s worth of statements to work with.

  41. Sdferr says:

    It does tend to sort of cramp the available set, maggie.

  42. so are they gonna put “use by” dates on these little books?

  43. Matt says:

    Is that an Obama in my pocket or am I just happy to see you ?

  44. Mikey NTH says:

    #39 Sdferr:

    And my anecdote took place in the early 1990’s. A friend of mine told me about the restaurant, he wa an accountant at a Ford plant and went there for lunch with some older accountants. It was not the place to have lunch if you wanted to work afterwards. Potatoes, cabbage, beets, pork, beef, etc. Very solid, very heavy, very nap-inducing.

    But very good – so not Sysco or Gordons pre-selected restaurant food. Don’t know if it is still there, or if I could find it again.

  45. Bob Reed says:

    bullfrog,
    You’re a genius, friend. You’ve coined an entirely new term of derision; “MaObama”…

    May I use it?

  46. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    New euphemism for masturbation: thumbing through his Pocket Obama.

  47. […] art of analogy has fallen on hard times, lately. One of the reasons that I linked the story about subway riders breaking out in “Amazing Grace” was because it struck me […]

  48. Techie says:

    “You don’t ever want a crisis to go to waste; it’s an opportunity to do important things that you would otherwise avoid.”

    — Rahm Emanuel

  49. geoffb says:

    Maybe it will have helpful advise like Ayatollah Khomeini’s “Blue Book”.

  50. MarkD says:

    I’ve got my own little book. It’s got the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution in it. At the risk of being seen as politically incorrect, does Obama’s have yellow pages in it?

    When is Obama going to come out with the uniform? I was thinking bell bottoms and a Nehru jacket for his brownshirts. And the armband. I mustn’t forget the armband.

  51. Rob Crawford says:

    You know what would be a hilarious “Pocket Obama”? Sixty pages of “Uh, um, er, let me finish my waffles, sweetie, um, er…”

  52. I keep a picture of Stalin in the hall closet.

    It’s my Closet Commie. If you act now, you can get a Closet Commie, free, with your order of two Pocket Obamas.

    But hurry.. We can’t do this all day.

  53. Rob Crawford says:

    SSG Ratso — you’re supposed to put the Commie under your bed.

  54. gebrauchshund says:

    At least if the gulags are built by non-white construction workers with no experience working construction, they should be pretty easy to break out of.

    You just have to look for the silver lining.

  55. Under the bed?

    Now that would just be wierd.

  56. Rusty says:

    Mikey. I’m not as optimistic as you are. People who are old enough to know better sit there like moon faced dimwits and talk of all the hope and change they know not what of. Apparently 52% of the population have IQs less than 80. I am not hopeful.

  57. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Rusty, the shelf-life of pop idols is way shorter nowadays than it was back when.

  58. Swen Swenson says:

    I was kind of sick this past week and not quite myself. I ended up in the ER yesterday in a mild delirium. I’m told that when O came on TV the last few days, I would say “OW! shut up you windbag.” Usually I’m more polite to the TV.

    Sorry to hear you’re under the weather, SarahW. Got to laugh though at how fast our jug-eared Jesus has gone from O! to Oh? to OW! among his supporters. I’m loving the contortions our illustrious media are going through. They were instrumental in selling the American voters a pig in a poke (granted they bought him first). Now that we’re getting a peek in the poke they’re desperate to smear some lipstick on the pig and tell us what a wonderful deal we got. If you could see their faces they’d probably be grinnin’ like an egg-sucking dog all the while.

  59. SSG Ratso — you’re supposed to put the Commie under your bed.

    but that’s where the kitty hides when the door bell rings.

  60. MAJ (P) John says:

    “When is Obama going to come out with the uniform? I was thinking bell bottoms and a Nehru jacket for his brownshirts. And the armband. I mustn’t forget the armband.”

    MrakD – I was hoping for something a bit more unusal – Like a zoot suit. I’ve always wanted an excuse to get one of those. Then I could throw more 1940s hep cat talk around too.

  61. MAJ (P) John says:

    Hmmm. Not bad, only two typos before I finished my coffee.

  62. Sdferr says:

    Maj John, zoots might fit nicely with my thought the other day that Obama may alone have the requisite star power to bring back spats. I can see it.

  63. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Those big-assed watch chains might be useful, too, ‘specially if they were motorcycle chains or something like that.

  64. Drider says:

    On the comment on Obama having to “do” something before he is etched in the annuls of greatness…..N0, he doesn’t.
    He is the first half white, half black POTUS and it is a historical event, the threshold of racism has been crossed by him winning the election.
    Unfortunately, historic president and “greatness” are to entirely different aspects that rarely merge as one “great individual”.

    Obama is not a rare individual, the halls of liberalism are full of Obama’s and they are historically wrong, and not only wrong but the direct opposite of logical,decent or right on any issue at any time.

  65. nawoods says:

    If I was one of his speech writers, I’d be mighty pissed. I bet many of those quotes came from his speeches, which he didn’t write, so the “pearls of wisdom” aren’t really his.

  66. Mr B says:

    On a whim, I googled “Obama Dildos” and got 5.3 million hits and a picture of Parsnip and Thor.

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=obama+dildo&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq=

    I can’t stop laughing…..

  67. […] to:   iSteve, Say anything, Rhymes with Right,  Rosemary’s Thoughts, Political Byline, Woman Honor Thyself, The World […]

  68. […] IS THAT A Pocket Obama? Or are you just Chris Matthews? …. […]

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