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The Accidental Comedian [Dan Collins]

In its ongoing fight to get rejected absentee ballots re-evaluated, Al Franken’s Senate campaign released an emotionally charged video about uncounted voters, reports the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. The video includes one bedridden man—with his head on a Minnesota Vikings pillow—who implores, “I may be a quadriplegic, but we are still someone, and we deserve to have our votes counted.”

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27 Replies to “The Accidental Comedian [Dan Collins]”

  1. DarthRove says:

    You weren’t good enough, you weren’t smart enough, and gosh darn it, people hate your fuckin’ guts.

  2. Techie says:

    No Stars and Strips playing softly in the background? No kitties? I demand kitties!

  3. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Stars and Stripes? He’s no nationalistic, jingoistic, xenophobic Amerikkkan, Techie.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    I wish Minnesota would just cut to the chase and send Babe the Blue Ox to the Senate.

  5. Sticky B says:

    What the fuck is wrong with Minnesota?

  6. happyfeet says:

    I may be a quadriplegic, but

    This has happened before. Once.

    “You’re lying.” He turned away from her. “Why don’t you just go? I don’t need you here. I may be a quadriplegic, but I can manage fine on my own.”

    “Fuck you, Joel,” Kyra said, her eyes filling with tears. “I’ve been in this hospital for two days, worrying about you. I’ve been sleeping on the fucking floor. I am so fucking sick of your self-pity. Why don’t you just accept the fact that I love you even if you’re in a wheelchair or you need a diaper or whatever else I don’t know about?”*

    Unless he was badly mistaken, there wasn’t an ounce of pity in her eyes is how that ends up for that chapter.

    http://www.paradevo.net/surgeon19.html

  7. Squid says:

    Have you looked at the Senate lately, Sticky? I think maybe you could cut my fair state a little slack.

  8. thorichka says:

    The FBI opened an investigation into Norm Coleman yesterday, something about payola.

  9. scooter (still not libby) says:

    So clearly Al Franken is the better choice.

  10. thorichka says:

    Your words, not mine.

  11. […] The Accidental comedian [Dan Collins] The Accidental comedian [Dan Collins]. In its ongoing fight to get rejected absentee ballots re-evaluated, Al Franken’s Senate campaign released an emotionally charged video about uncounted voters, reports the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. … […]

  12. Squid says:

    “We welcome any investigation of these lawsuits by the appropriate authorities to get to the bottom of these baseless, sleazy and politically inspired allegations,” Coleman’s campaign said in a statement last night.

    Let’s recall that the accusations first appeared five days before the election (“I question the timing!”). I don’t trust Diamond Norm Quimby any further than I can throw him, but that doesn’t mean that Stuart Smalley’s friends are automatically right. Kudos to the FBI for agreeing to investigate.

    Now, a new thought experiment: suppose the worst comes to pass, and my fellow Minnesotans wind up sending Stuart Smalley to the Senate. On a scale of 1 to 50, just how bad a Senator would he be?

  13. Techie says:

    I’d go with a 2. You’d at least get him out of the state sometimes, and when he takes his personal vendetta against Rush Limbaugh to Washington, you’ll get a flag for the Right to rally around.

  14. thorichka says:

    That Norm Coleman, however corrupt he is, can’t even defeat Stuart Smalley says what?

  15. Squid says:

    Well, I suppose it says that way too many of my neighbors have listened to way too much Garrison Keillor over the years. That stuff plays with yer head after a while.

  16. Sdferr says:

    I especially like the way they call the never extant, double counted 133 ballots “lost” and do it with a straight face, evidently. Hilarious.

  17. B Moe says:

    That Norm Coleman, however corrupt he is, can’t even defeat Stuart Smalley says what?

    That he is not corrupt enough, apparently. Has Franken settled up on his back taxes, yet? How about that Boys and Girls Club he ripped off? Any of the employees he stiffed at Air America?

    I guess he must have or it would be in the news, right?

  18. Jim Ryan says:

    Okay, Al, I would never ordinarily say this, but… is there any way you can get to a pound cake?

  19. Sean M. says:

    That Norm Coleman, however corrupt he is, can’t even defeat Stuart Smalley says what?

    That we should take off and nuke Minnesota from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  20. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    “That Norm Coleman, however corrupt he is, can’t even defeat Stuart Smalley says what?”

    It says that there are a lot of very dumb voters in Minnesota.

  21. Bob Reed says:

    Franken has no shame, and will stoop to anything in order to win…

    His years of media training did prepare him a bit though; he can say anthing with a straight face, regardless of how preposterous or risable…

  22. This is the difference between the left and the right: when the right loses, it says “damn, now lets move on.” When the left loses they say “its never over until we win!”

  23. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Actually, it’s interesting Norm’s in the race at all. A LOT of people specifically voted for Obama and Coleman, splitting their ticket, since Obama won Minn. easily and Franken won’t without magical votes appearing.

  24. Squid says:

    A lot voted Obama/Barkley, too. Our third-party candidate got 15% of the vote. If only we could disqualify the two front-runners and put the independent guy foward…

  25. MarkD says:

    His vote was already counted, twice. Does it take a stake through the heart to make a loser go away?

  26. Vikas Reddy says:

    Minnesota is pretty bad, but let’s be honest, at least it’s not Alabama.

    Thanks for the link to awkwardrules by the way, I need to get another post up soon.

  27. Donald says:

    Then you’ve probably never been to Alabama. Beautiful country, mountains, beautiful people (And I mean beautiful women, hit 5 points in Birmingham some time skippy), and the gulf shores beaches are among the most incredible in America, along with increbile fishing. Course, you’d actually have to go there, and maybe spend a little time.

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