The average prisoner being held at Gitmo has gained 10 lbs. since the onset of his incarceration, FOXNews reports. Seems these poor suffering wretches are getting fat on Fruit Loops (which by all accounts they’re scarfing down like candy).
Hmm. Perhaps we can convince the Surgeon General to step in and declare a “War on PRISONER Obesity. ‘Cause let’s face it: were we to sick the nanny-state bureaucrats on these newly unhealthy prison folk, they’d be beggin’ us for Daisy Cutters quicker’n you could say “No Smoking…”
Poor saps. They’ve no idea what’s potentially heading their way: lectures and clipboards and ordinances and PSAs…Oh, the humanity!
That is a classic Jeff! A classic! Only wish I would have thought of it first. (My brain is sleeping this week so we know why not)
But are they allowed to play dodgeball? And what if they want to become cheerleaders?
Enquiring minds wonna know…
Myria
Evil Americans once again at work! It’s not enough to push our junk food, our McDonald’s, our Coca-Cola and our blue jeans, as well as our licentiousness (just why SHOULD a woman show her face in public?!)! No, now we have to get these poor POWs addicted to FRUIT-LOOPS!!
And, pray tell, what will we do with them after they’re released?! Do you KNOW how hard it is to get Fruit Loops in Kabul?!?
This is further evidence of American perfidy, aimed at seducing good Muslims everywhere to the cause of the Great Satan (aka Sam Toucan).
Wait’ll Michael Moore hears about this!!
Bwahahaha!