WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND:
Definitely not!
WIFE:
Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND:
Of course I do. WIFE:
Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND:
Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE:
You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND:
(Makes audible groan). WIFE:
Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND:
Sure, it's a great house.
WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND:
Where else would we sleep? WIFE:
Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND:
Probably. It's almost new. WIFE:
Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND:
That would seem like the proper thing to do. WIFE:
Would she use my golf clubs? HUSBAND:
No, she's left-handed. WIFE:
- silence - -
HUSBAND:
F * ck .... Related: Girl Loses Virginity, Inadvertently Text Messages Father
My wife objected at our last get-together with friends, when I offered the toast “To our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet.”
Oh, I LIKE this one.
Not, I mean, because it strikes a familiar chord.
I’ll bet Miss Left-Handed also doesn’t ask annoying hypothetical questions about their relationship.
Thanks, Dan; that was spot-on!
What’s par for this hole?
One of my favorite jokes, but dude, you have to end it when the hubby says she’s left-handed.
Husband: So – what was it you really wanted to fight about?
(Said as he leaves with a self-packed bag to spend the night at a [single] friend’s house, mentally kicking himself for marrying a girl that ‘wanted to be a writer or poet’, a girl whose favorite book is ‘The Bell Jar’, after all of his friends said ‘she’s crazy, get rid of her’…)
The “girl loses virginity” text is already inspiring parodies.
The virgin looks like she is in her twenties. She’s also coyote ugly. Those girls tend to lose their flower early on.