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a CITIZEN JOURNALIST prepares himself for life under Barack Obama’s Socialist Paradise, 4

So I stopped at a Starbucks this morning on the way back from running some errands and sat down with my double espresso at a stool next to a table full of Obama campaign precinct walkers who were evidently taking a break before resuming their canvass.

As luck would have it, these budding community organizers were enjoying biscotti and muffins. Offering them a knowing nod — followed quickly by the Obama salute — I downed my caffeine in one quick quaff as they looked on approvingly, recognizing in me a kindred political spirit.

— That is, until I reached over and started eating their almond cakes and poppy muffins. At which point their faces screwed up into some combination of confusion and irritation.

Nevertheless, I thanked them for spreading the wealth, then quickly snatched some loose change off the table and headed on my way, a black power salute left hanging in the air like some particularly poignant progressive fart.

Bring on the socialisms, I say!

Developing…

70 Replies to “a CITIZEN JOURNALIST prepares himself for life under Barack Obama’s Socialist Paradise, 4”

  1. PCachu says:

    Karma’s a bitch, and Jeff’s her pimp.

  2. Brock says:

    Jeff, that’s all wrong. It’s social conservatives who are personally charitable with their food. Liberals are generous with your food. You’re going to have to understand that under Socialism personal charity (of almond cakes) is preempted by the State’s charity (of government cheese).

  3. alppuccino says:

    quickly snatched some change

    I’d rather change some snatch. I’y’no’wom’sayin…..

    The whiff

  4. ThomasD says:

    Just don’t get between the Obamessiah and his waffle.

  5. Ric Caric says:

    I sometimes refer to Protein Wisdom as the “bitter asshole blog.” This seems like a case where that would apply.

  6. slackjawedyokel says:

    Always remember that you can get farther with a smile and a gun than you can with just a smile.

  7. Dan Are says:

    By chance I drove past an O rally Friday in Indiana. I started to yell “BETTER DEAD THAN RED” but quickly realized I was in both a red state, and red car. Cowed by the etymologic issues of who owned the sloganeering, I drove on feeling like a bit of a putz.

  8. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Interesting. I sometimes refer to Caric’s blog as “that whackjob blog that no one reads, not even when he comes over here to troll.”

  9. Pablo says:

    SB&P, perhaps “that bitter asshole whackjob blog that no one reads, not even when he comes over here to troll.” would fit a mite better. You know, given that he hates your unenlightened cracker ass deep beneath his bad combover.

  10. bigbooner says:

    I may be a bitter asshole but at least I’m not a bitter socialist asshole. So there’s that at least.

  11. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Ok, who let the slovenly fat luntatic out of its cage? Back in you go, perfesser ummmm…

  12. Jeffersonian says:

    Caric likes his asshole bitter, with a twist of lime.

  13. bigbooner says:

    A lot of guys like his asshole. With or without the twist.

  14. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Maybe with a twist of lemming. Or gerbil. Any small rodent will do.

  15. N. O'Brain says:

    “100,000 lemmings can’t be wrong.”

  16. BJTexs says:

    Geez, perfesser. go spend some time a friedoglake or pandagonian. I don’t think “bitter” means what you think it means and I know you are meaning challenged on “asshole.”

  17. Bob Reed says:

    Jeff G,
    Their look of confusion and irritation is simply explained…

    You see, they like to share other peoples wealth, not their own! And that was precisely the position you were putting them in…It’s the same old proggy mind-set; kinda like, you know, not in my backyard

    That, or it coulda been that black power fist salute; they’re not used to seein’ that from a white guy without dredlocks…

    Or maybe, it was that poigniant progressive fart…

  18. DarthRove says:

    Your meaning is whatever Prof. Caric says it is.

  19. Bob Reed says:

    Comment by Ric Caric on 11/3 @ 2:20 pm #

    I sometimes refer to Protein Wisdom as the “bitter asshole blog.”

    No Ric, you’ve got us mixed up with Kos or HuffPo…

    You know, your real faves…

  20. lee says:

    Caric and his asshole.

  21. MarkD says:

    Report to reeducation camp Wednesday at 9.

  22. missy says:

    I am white and proud of it, call me racist if you want. Whites are the only race that was not given a deck of card, we the white race is the only race not allowed to be racist.

  23. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    missy: Go fuck yourself. Sideways.

  24. Lisa says:

    HuffPo is not Bitter Asshole Blog, it is Euphoric GlueHuffer Blog. The font of their headlines rises with their glee at the polls and the amount of ecstasy and vicodin that Arianna is pounding back at any given time. They even make me nervous and I am a loyal party apparatchik.

  25. Lisa says:

    One day they are not going to have any actual blog text. There is just going to be this huge headline: OMG! OBAMA! OMG! in huge, 300 point type. Call 911 because that means someone over there overdosed and has collapsed into a quivering puddle of o’ecstasy.

  26. N. O'Brain says:

    Comment by missy on 11/3 @ 3:16 pm #

    Oh, look, Caric’s back.

    This time as an agent provocateur.

    You can take off the wig now, perfessor.

  27. Timstigator says:

    Commenters are feeling the dread here. Me, I’m preparing for the dhimmi tax that befalls infidels in the O Times. Or the re-education camp gruel. “Work will make you free” becomes “Taxing your bony ass makes you feel mo’ better.”

  28. N. O'Brain says:

    “the amount of ecstasy and vicodin that Arianna is pounding back”

    Here I thought it was oxycondin and cheap gin.

  29. That’s because your a THINKING loyal party apparatchik, Lisa. They’re not, not by any stretch of their already fevered imaginations. Blind party loyalism is bad on both sides, but it really becomes nauseous when the blind loyalists of PuffHOE and Kooks start their celebratory rah rahing…

  30. Bob Reed says:

    Arianna loadin’ up on the X and Vic’s…Well I never…

    And I had her pegged as one of the old school European drunk type…Silly me…

    I used to comment there, until the ratio of denied/attempted comments reached 75%…

    And while I may be wordy, or folks may disagree with my take; my commentary is sometimes snarky, but rarely derisive, never hateful, and most often factual…

    They just didn’t like the cut of my jib, I’d wager…

    Best Wishes…

  31. happyfeet says:

    Offering them a knowing nod

    I feel dirty. I passed on an NPR story like it was for real what touched on a marketing thing a client was interested in. That’s just so wrong. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

  32. …and the naked pole-dances? Hideous…

  33. Lisa says:

    Bob WordPress is weird sometimes. The Perfesser is too busy drinking and drunkenly practicing Krav Maga to actually censor his website, even if he wanted to.

  34. missy says:

    I calculated my income, I make over $250.000, I am going to a four day week to keep me under $200.000. I WORK HARD FOR MY MONEY, AND I AM TO KEEP IT.I CAN ASK MOST OF MY MONEY,SCREW WITH MY BOOKS, THEN I WILL GET A BONUS.
    NO WAY A DEAD BEAT IS GOING TO GET MY MONEY, IF I SHARE, I CHOOSE, WHO I WILL SHARE IT WITH.

    ON A BETTER SIDE, THAT HAS NOT BEEN DECIDED AS OF YET, HAS IT? (no)

    McCAIN AND PALIN FOR THE PEOPLE, NOT AGAINST THEM.
    WE HAS ONE MAN GOING TO BED ON ELECTION THINKING HE HAD WON THE ELEVTION, ONLY TO WAKE THE NEXT MORNING TO FIND HE HAD IN FACT LOST.

  35. Mossberg500 says:

    Comment by Ric Caric on 11/3 @ 2:20 pm #

    I sometimes refer to Protein Wisdom as the “bitter asshole blog.” This seems like a case where that would apply.

    I refer to Caric’s blog as the “I’m a bitter son, my dad’s an asshole” blog. Hey perf, did you pick out a nice “Get Fucked for Christmas Dad” card?

  36. Lisa says:

    Yeah Celt, though I love my skinny little socialist candidate and hope he wins, he still might lose. He might even get his narrow ass handed to him. I can’t imagine the shrieking and rending of the garments that would go on in some quarters. I have faith that even if my favorite guy doesn’t win, the United States will be just fine. We will make moose jokes and pass around snotty Jesusland emails. But we will still be the United States of America. We will still go to work, pay taxes, and watch Top Chef obsessively (I might do a one-woman riot/looting thing so I can steal my neighbor’s huge flat screen – but then I will relax and watch Top Chef).

  37. Jeffersonian says:

    One day they are not going to have any actual blog text. There is just going to be this huge headline: OMG! OBAMA! OMG! in huge, 300 point type. Call 911 because that means someone over there overdosed and has collapsed into a quivering puddle of o’ecstasy.

    I like you, Lisa. You’re a Bammy supporter, but you definitely haven’t drunk the blood they poured into Indy’s mouth from that twisted skull.

  38. lee says:

    Missy makes me picture the scene in Airplane!, where there is a long line waiting to slap the hysterical woman.

    I’m the guy ten back, impatiently dropping a baseball bat into my palm.

  39. Jeffersonian says:

    Are we back to the all-caps campaign now?

  40. BJTexs says:

    Yeah Celt, though I love my skinny little socialist candidate and hope he wins, he still might lose. He might even get his narrow ass handed to him

    But … but … but … what will you do with all of the armbands, darlin’?

    !O! (let’s march together…)

  41. Jeff G. says:

    Caric’s students must have laughed at his shirt again. Or that hair.

    That makes him sad, but then, after a quick Chi and some self-affirmation in the mirror (“I am unaffected by the trappings of materialism, I am unaffected by the trapping of materialism…”), he comes over here and drops BOMBS!

  42. Mossberg500 says:

    They just announced that Obama’s grandmother died. While I don’t want him to win, it is certainly tragic that she won’t get to see her grandson sworn in as President if he does.

  43. Lisa: I lurve Top Chef, nay, ALL the cooking shows with a passion of a fat man denied a decent meal. Probably because I AM a fat man denied a proper meal. Truck stop cooking, that’s all I’ll say…;-(

    So go on, loot that Flat-screen, it’s for a good cause…lol

  44. Jeff G. says:

    The cracker? Too bad, especially now. But I bet Ogletree thinks she had it coming.

  45. happyfeet says:

    It’s always drama drama drama with the socialism ones. God I hate them.

  46. RTO Trainer says:

    I calculated my income, I make over $250.000, I am going to a four day week to keep me under $200.000.

    Racist and stupid,… but I repeat myself. (And juding from teh periods rather than commas in the numbers, European–so that much more redundant)

    A thinking person could figure out how to keep the income level but not have it all taxed.

    Your method? What will you do when that magic number is $200,000, and later $150,000 and yet later $120,000?

    But since you don’t seem to be an American anyhow, what are you grousing about?

  47. JBean says:

    It’s always drama drama drama with the socialism ones. God I hate them.

    Critical drama. Always critical.

  48. lee says:

    I hope it doesn’t all get to be too much for young Obama, and he has a heart attack or stroke or something. You know those smokers with bad genetic history. Could keel over any time…

    Can you imagine “President Biden”?

    *shudder*

  49. Jeffersonian says:

    As a quick aside, the Yahoo electoral map a couple of days ago had Obama at 350+ EV’s with McCain at 155. Obama is currently at 318 with McCain sitting at 196.

    The tide is changing, but is it changing quickly enough?

  50. Continuum says:

    The telling comment is not that you ate the cupcakes.

    The telling comment is that you saw Obama’s campaign workers out canvasing.

    Did you happen to stumble across some McCain workers. A group? Maybe two? Even one?

    The neocons are toast, and thanks for confirming it.

  51. mojo says:

    Must be the Lost Continuum…

    Y’know, where Islands have “feelings”…

  52. Jeffersonian says:

    Did you happen to stumble across some McCain workers. A group? Maybe two? Even one?

    Had a couple of ’em at my door yesterday. I told them I’m an LP Committeeman, but I was voting for McCain because I didn’t want to see Hugo Chavez’s little brother in the White House. They liked that.

  53. Continuum says:

    “Had a couple of ‘em at my door yesterday. ”

    You sure they weren’t trick or treaters? Was one dressed up as Palin? It could be confusing, sin witches were a popular costume this year.

  54. happyfeet says:

    McCain workers huddled in Starbucks discussing canvassing strategies over a quick chai latte? You so don’t get it.

  55. Pablo says:

    Jeff isn’t being truthful in this post, Continuum. He’s putting you on. Baracky is too. It’s a shame you can’t detect it on your own.

  56. SGT Ted says:

    I heard a flatulent noise and smelled a foul odor when I clicked on the comments and knew Caric must have posted in the thread.

  57. Jeff G. says:

    Continuum thinks he will be among the elect. Soon, though, he’ll find out he’s just another sucker what backed a socialist.

    History is filled with such useful idiots.

    — Which, cool by me, so long as they know I’ll be sharing their cupcakes and maybe even their girlfriends, if the mood strikes. FOR FREEDOM!

  58. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Definitely not the Q Continuum.

    Glue (sniffing) Continuum?
    Spew Continuum?
    Attempted-Coup Continuum?
    Clueless Continuum?

  59. Mossberg500 says:

    Cuntinuum!

  60. irongrampa says:

    Might want to wait until the election is actually HELD, there, Eeyor.

  61. Rastro says:

    Good bye, United States of America. Hello, Soviet Obamastan!

  62. BuddyPC says:

    42. Comment by Mossberg500 on 11/3 @ 3:56 pm #

    They just announced that Obama’s grandmother died. While I don’t want him to win, it is certainly tragic that she won’t get to see her grandson sworn in as President if he does.

    She’s still voting tomorrow, right?

    57. Comment by Jeff G. on 11/3 @ 5:25 pm #
    Continuum thinks he will be among the elect. Soon, though, he’ll find out he’s just another sucker what backed a socialist.
    History is filled with such useful idiots.

    I’m telling you guys: Deval Patrick. 32%. In Massa49thInJobCreationThisYearChusetts.

    In a few months there’s gonna be a lot of people denying they voted for the Messiah. There’s your Rooster metaphor.
    When Obama’s honeymoon ends things are gonna get ugly. Like Alex Forrest ugly.
    You saw how frothy they were getting when SmoothO started his half assed trot to the center post-primary.

    For all the assassination porn the past few months, in the history of the Republic, to a man, who’s taken shots at major political figures?
    Hint: It ain’t been the center-right.

    Imagine, say, Ayers’ reaction if Obama ever publicly considers a charter school proposal on camera.

  63. guinsPen says:

    particularly poignant progressive fart

    Comment by Ric Caric on 11/3 @ 2:20 pm

    I sometimes refer to Professor Caric as the “particularly pedestrian progressive fart.”

  64. guinsPen says:

    See, 3pO!

  65. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    “sin witches”? WTF? How stupid are these people. Rhetorical and all that. Wow, the hate is amazing.

  66. guinsPen says:

    I passed on an NPR story like it was for real… That’s just so wrong. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

    Careful, ‘feets. That road leads to why they have those measuring sticks on convenience store doors.

  67. Darleen says:

    OI

    the Left hates Sarah and never so much that she had the audicity to NOT abort Trig. Wonkette decided to go there saying Trig would rather be dead then a Palin.

    Caric the Pretender is just part and parcel of that classiness.

  68. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Wonkette is more of a man than caric.

  69. Dishman says:

    Darleen…

    I have recently come to understand that people on the left generally believe that people like me should not be suffered to live.

    It’s ok. I understand.

    I hope they’re not too terribly offended, though, if I view everything they say through that lens.

  70. Rusty says:

    It’s why we own all the guns.
    The polls open here in about 15 minutes. I’ll go vote on the way to work.

Comments are closed.