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“White people shouldn’t be allowed to vote”

I’d like to think this piece by the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Jonathan Valania is a kind of “Modest Proposal” for the “post-racial” age. But alas, bits like this leave me believing otherwise:

I give you Exhibit A: The last eight years.

In 2000, Bush-Cheney stole the election, got us attacked, and then got us into two no-exit wars. Four years later, white people reelected them. Is not the repetition of the same behavior over and over again with the expectation of a different outcome the very definition of insanity? (It is, I looked it up.)

Exhibit B is any given Sarah Palin rally.

Exhibit C would be Ed Rendell and John Murtha, who in separate moments of on-the-record candor they would come to regret, pointing out that there are plenty of people in Pennsylvania who just cannot bring themselves to pull the lever for a black man – no matter what they tell pollsters.

These people are ruining things for the rest of us white people who are ready to move on. Sure, they have their reasons, chimerical though they may be: He’s a Muslim. He’s a terrorist. He’s a Muslim terrorist. He’s going to fire all the white people and give their jobs to blacks.

But those are just the little white lies these people allow themselves to be told, a self-induced cognitive dissonance that lets them avoid saying the unsayable: I cannot pull the lever for a black man.

Leaving aside for the moment the kind of reaction this piece would be receiving from outraged liberals were Valania to substitute, in his premise, blacks for whites (which Democrats have, in the past, agreed to do. Ahem.), what is so remarkable about this “argument” is that it is suffused with the very “white guilt” Shelby Steele wrote about in 2006, and that, at the time, (mostly white) progressives were quick to dismiss as non-existent and non-sensical, taking the opportunity to attack Steele and those who dared considered his argument for what that assured us was countenancing an idiotic premise. (Sometimes I wish these folks would just get their stories straight and save me the trouble of having to search through my archives. Also, it later became apparent that someone forgot to tell Geraldine Ferraro she should wait until now to make the admission. To the idiotic premise. On which whatever effect Mr Valania’s “argument” has will necessarily hinge.)

To hear Mr Valania tell it (soon, Ayers and Dohrn will have a new book out arguing essentially the same thing), white Americans are, to an overwhelming extent, a bunch of white supremacists who “cannot pull the lever for a black man.”

Again, how this tracks with Obama’s primary victory is never explained, but then, once you’ve reached this level of preemptive and retaliatory race-baiting, you’ve essentially decided that coherence is not a priority in putting together your argument.

It shouldn’t need saying, but I’m going to repeat it anyway: Americans are more than willing to pull the lever for blacks (and even women); but what they are unwilling to do, let’s hope, is pull the lever for a black man simply because he’s black.

One would think that such a position is the antithesis of racism. But somehow, we’ve gotten to the point where “racism” is being defined as an unwillingness to vote for a candidate with whom you might ideologically disagree — while the “anti-racist” position has become that you must vote solely on the basis of race to prove that you are not, in fact, a racist.

Were the world anymore upside down, I’d be eating a big bowl of rice as a reward for braining my newborn daughter.

(h/t Bob)

68 Replies to ““White people shouldn’t be allowed to vote””

  1. Andrew the Noisy says:

    They’ve closed comments at that article, because Teh HATE!!!eleventy!! was overpowering.

    For my money, the biggest problem is that this clown suffers from the syndrome of thinking himself clever when he is merely obnoxious.

    Banning the vote from white people…oh, Homer, you’re such a card…

  2. Spiny Norman says:

    I’d vote for Shelby Steele or Thomas Sowell in a heartbeat but then, in the Proggs’ world, I’d still be racist because they’re “inauthentic”.

    I suppose I should denounce myself and be done with it.

  3. So, why aren’t McCain surrogates saying something like the above, or hinting that one reason BHO was selected is because the Dems hoped to use the race card to get a victory? For instance, a couple years ago a Hispanic guy wrote an editorial in the LAT accusing TonyVillar of using race as his “magic shield”. Has anyone above PC reproach said something similar?

  4. happyfeet says:

    I don’t care what color a dirty socialist is he can’t be my president. That’s just too retarded and people have worked too hard on this little country to let a dirty socialist get his dirty socialist hands on it I think.

  5. Jeffersonian says:

    I’m with ‘feet…it’s about the red, not the black. Is there a Stendhal joke somewhere in there?

  6. Mike says:

    Wow. This guy seems to have discovered the Blarney Stone of capital-S Stupid.

  7. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Here’s an experiment: nominate Thomas Sowell.

    It would be strong evidence for Valania’s thesis if we all refused to vote for him, yes?

    Professor Sowell is not likely to run, of course — he’s almost 80 — but, man, it sure would help us confront and acknowledge the inherent racism of AmeriKKKa. Otherwise we’re likely to remain in denial, pretending that we aren’t voting for Obama merely because he’s a socialist with more skeletons in the closet than a San Francisco anatomy lab.

  8. terran says:

    “Were the world anymore upside down, I’d be eating a big bowl of rice as a reward for braining my newborn daughter.”

    Just hang on…after Nov. 4, you might just get that chance…

    *shrugs*

  9. Dash Rendar says:

    Ok, it’s been said a hundred million times, but again the fucking media is fucking unbelievable. Was at the gym with the big overhead tv’s with CNN on and literally for an hour straight they just bashed Palin and talked about nothing else. Had the subheadings up: “Palin: Just a Diva?” rotating around with “Palin: Unqualified?” Then they had a special internet special where they highlighted all the quotes they could find about how unqualified and how icky she was, then they cut to Baracky stump speech and a lil bit o’ McCain then cut back to Palin bashing. Nary a word on the redistribution clip or anything else of substance except Palin. I think they’re trying to make Sarah into a Britney or some such.

  10. Abe Froman says:

    This guy’s commentary is just a written form of the moron performance art the left so loves. Are people really supposed to believe he has capacity for insight when this Moby is so obviously disconnected from the world outside of his weepy, progressive weirdo circles that all he can muster is a load of crap designed to get him back slaps from people who think the same way? I love that people like this are on the other side. More please!

  11. Sdferr says:

    Scares the bejeebus out of them and rightly so, for reasons they can’t begin to comprehend, certainly not the reasons they’ll tick off like memorized talking points (because that’s what they are, of course).

  12. BumperStickerist says:

    Real Quick:

    IN 2006 PENNSYLVANIA REPUBLICANS NOMINATED A BLACK GUY AS THEIR GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE.

    Yes, it’s true. These racist Republicans nominated Lynn Swann, former Pittsburgh Steeler, lifelong black man, in place of a very conservative white candidate, Pat Toomey.

    Lynn Swann got 40% of the vote. Presumably from the white racists who cling to their guns and religion and such. The urbanites voted for the older white candidate – Ed Rendell.

  13. ushie says:

    GAHHHHH!
    “But those are just the little white lies these people allow themselves to be told, a self-induced cognitive dissonance that lets them avoid saying the unsayable: I cannot pull the lever for a black man.”

    The dumassedry! It BURNS!

  14. lee says:

    I thought Obama was white.

    Isn’t his Mom…Oh, forget it.

  15. Mossberg500 says:

    Shouldn’t be able to vote, yet we’ll have to pay taxes(and possibly reparations). I guess he never heard of “No taxation without representation.”

  16. alppuccino says:

    I think white people that cannot read English should be banned from voting. And well, if you’re going to ban illiterate whites – nah.

    So, why aren’t McCain surrogates saying something like the above, or hinting that one reason BHO was selected is because the Dems hoped to use the race card to get a victory?

    Sorry to veer, but Gerry “If Barack were white, there’s no way he’d be where he is today” Ferraro, today spun 180 degrees in order to belittle Barbara West for “trying to get famous by asking Joe Biden unfair questions.”

    You know Geraldine, you can get back in the good graces of the DNC by giving Howard Dean a BJ, and you wouldn’t have to get dressed up or shape the bob or anything. It’d take about 2 minutes.

  17. Rich Cox says:

    #16 heh heh…..

    kiss it. kiss it.

  18. HeatherRadish says:

    I’ve been told “diva” is a heterosexist misogynist dog whistle code word…

  19. Lisa says:

    That was the dumbest thing I have ever damaged my retinas reading – that includes everything I have ever read at Wingnut Daily or Clownhall.

  20. alppuccino says:

    Now that I think about it, “How are you?” could be construed as an unfair question for Joe Biden.

  21. Lisa says:

    The Philadelphia Enquirer must be desperate.

    Happy I think he will wash his hands (and even use some Purelle anti-bacterial foam) before he gets his mitts on your money.

  22. Lisa says:

    I think everyone who uses “axe” instead of “ask” should not only be barred from voting, but should also be slapped hard.

  23. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Isn’t his Mom…Oh, forget it.

    These days it’s the “progressives” who are all about the One Drop Rule, lee.

  24. alppuccino says:

    I think everyone who uses “axe” instead of “ask” should not only be barred from voting, but should also be slapped hard.

    Funny you should mention that Lisa. I’ve always wanted to see an Arnie action movie where Ahhhnold picks up a big hatchet and says “Let me ahhxe you somesing.” And then he throws the ax and splits a dude’s head.

    Should I move to Hollywood?

  25. Lisa says:

    LMAO! Do it al. I like it.

  26. Mossberg500 says:

    I think everyone who uses “axe” instead of “ask” should not only be barred from voting, but should also be slapped hard.

    I call dibs on Billy Joel, who used to be able to sing. And what happened to Patty La Belle. I saw her at Universal Ampitheater in 1984, and she was awesome, last night, not so much.

  27. Mossberg500 says:

    And what happened to Patty La Belle.

    I think people who don’t know how to use question marks should be slapped! *Ouch*

  28. Mr. Pink says:

    Conservatism….it’s the new black.

  29. psycho... says:

    I was listening to Ghostface Killah’s World According to Pretty Toney “book on tape” in the car just now — because I’m white like that sometimes — and his several dozen uses of “axe” seemed all very poetic and fine. But I don’t think anyone should be allowed to vote. And everyone needs to be slapped. So I wasn’t listening for qualifications re: those things.

    Any of you guys who like old Richard Pryor, Lord Buckley, etc., and don’t hate the new slang (or the type who make it), you really need to get that disc. He doesn’t read a book, just says a couple chapter titles, then goes off on an epically messy in-character audio advice column for the boys, with book-on-tape “next chapter” chimes thrown in at random.

    Funniest new comedy record I’ve heard in years, but it won’t show up in the comedy stacks, so I thought I should tell you chucklin’ fucks about it. PSA.

    Also: Don’t vote.

  30. Mossberg500 says:

    OT, “The Chucklin’ Fucks” would be a good name for a band! Just saying.

  31. Pablo says:

    Was at the gym with the big overhead tv’s with CNN on…

    Dash, trade the gym in for the range. You’ll feel much better.

  32. Mikey NTH says:

    The t.v.s at every place are one of my pet peeves. You cannot get away from them – post office, tire store – anywhere.

    I once saw little t.v.s at a gas station (on top of the pumps). It was more annoying than those little speakers they put on the pump handles at one time.

  33. Mikey NTH says:

    Oh – WRT the main post – there is stupid and there is weapons-grade stupid. The column by Mr. Valania is the latter. Is there any way he can be dropped over the FTA in Pakistan or would that be considered an atrocity against the tribes there?

  34. Mikey NTH says:

    I meant FATA – Federally Adminstered Tribal Areas.

  35. dre says:

    “But those are just the little white lies these people allow themselves to be told, a self-induced cognitive dissonance that lets them avoid saying the unsayable: I cannot pull the lever for a black man.”

    Where was this guy when Lynn Swann was running against Fat Eddie in ’06?

  36. Ok, so if I’m white I shouldn’t get to vote. But since my fiancee is black does that mean I get to vote because I’m marrying into the “family”? Or does she lose her vote because she’ss a race traitor? And what about our kids? If their dark skinned they get to vote, but if thir light skinned they don’t?

    It’s all very confusing…

    And stupid. Mostly stupid.

  37. TmjUtah says:

    So the ninety percent of black folks that are NOT voting McCain…

    … where’s the article about them?

    Inquiring minds, etc, etc, etc….

  38. Sdferr says:

    I guess I could get on board with a “white people shouldn’t be allowed on TV campaign” if Valania wanted to start one of those. Sure I’d miss seeing Megan Kelly every now and then, but I’m down with watching Harris instead. ‘Leasted we’d be rid of the stoogery we’re currently treated to.

  39. Makewi says:

    He’s saying it’s satire. The fallback position for idiots who get caught writing stupid ill considered stuff. I don’t believe him and I hope he stubs his toe. Like a lot.

  40. Bob Reed says:

    Americans are more than willing to pull the lever for blacks (and even women); but what they are unwilling to do, let’s hope, is pull the lever for a black man simply because he’s black

    Too late Jeff G, there are many guilt-ridden, wanna-be-hipsters, and kool-aid drinkers that already will…

    And unless you’re in zero G, or a centrifuge, that rice may fall out of the bowl when you’re inverted…

    And quit braining the newborns…You gotta at least wait until they turn 5; didn’t you check the owners manual…?

  41. steveaz says:

    Jeff said,
    “[…]but then, once you’ve reached this level of preemptive and retaliatory race-baiting, you’ve essentially decided that coherence is not a priority in putting together your argument.”

    If a so-called ‘black’ man ran against an Anglo (or ‘white’) guy, for high office and if the Anglo is an atrocious candidate and “white’ voters still refuse to vote for the ‘black’ candidate, then and only then does Valania, perhaps, have a point.

    As it stands, it’s up to Valania to prove his statistical case. And his resort to ‘preemptive’ race-baiting is evidence he can’t.

    John McCain is in no way an atrocious, racist candidate, and, I think this drives the rash of pieces like Valian’s. In the theater of perceptions, O’s team hasn’t been able to bust John McCain’s national brand – despite their proxies’ best efforts against his running mate.

    It’s down to the wire, Truman beat Dewey, and, Ford Knows, we’re all racists unless we do the right thing.

  42. Bob Reed says:

    BumperStickerist,

    As mind boggling as the Lynn Swann defeat was, I can trump it. Two years ago, in the People’s Republic of Maryland, the Voters of Maryland as a whole, and of Baltimore city and Prince Georges county overwhelmingly-both areas are predominantly African-Americans, elected some Democrat machine politician, Ben Cardin-about as white as they come, instead of the former Lietenant Governor Michael Steele, to fill the Senate seat vacated by lifelong incumbent Paul Sarbanes…

    Having seen both regions put many prominent African-American politicians over the top and into office throughout the years, mindful of Steele’s qualifications, intelligence, polish, and demeanour, I was shocked, Shocked!, to see him lose…

    Of course, he wasn’t legit, he was a perpetrator! I mean, how could any black man of conscience run as an eeeeeeeevil RethugliKKKan!

    As a nation, we’ll never be truly free of this racial crap until black Republican’s are not treated as uncle Tom Personae non grata

    I mean, as far as I can remember Dr. King advocated societal color blindness, and to the best of my recollection he didn’t qualify that vision based on ideology…

  43. Bob Reed says:

    I live adjacent to NYC, and in Brooklyn, everyone-and I mean everyone, uses “axe” for ask…

    If you close your eyes and just listen, most of them sound like Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny”…

    Drives my wife nutz, but she’s from Queens, and has a tendency to “shhh” her S sounds ehrn talkin’ to her old pals from the neighborhood…

    I don’t wanna go into the details of my own provincial linguistic flourishes…

  44. TFB says:

    I hate self-loathing white people. If you hate yourself so much, please kill yourself instead of trying to make the rest of us as miserable as you are.

  45. Mossberg500 says:

    What about people who say idea-r?

  46. urthshu says:

    WRT people who shouldn’t vote:
    I was training today on the new ballot marking devices. These are esp. for folks what are disabled n some way – blind, deaf, paraplegic, rain tumor, you name it.

    But its also specifically for lowering the barrier of entry for voting, so for illiterates, non-english speakers. Thats eh-sorta OK, I guess.

    But also folks from retarded grouphomes. We were given instruction on how to deal with retarded grouphome workers who are gonna bring in the short buses and then – get this – help these guys and gals do their voting. You know, sit with them and point to stuff.

    The helpers are supposed to sign a “voter’s assistant oath” where they promise, mostly, to not discuss the vote that the voter did. Not a whole lot of emphasis on not to influence that vote or anything.

    And its illegal for a union boss to ‘assist’ you in the booth, but entirely legal for someone in charge of your daily basic needs to, apparently.

    Oh and the machines are teh suck. Blue Screens of Disenfranchisement.

  47. alppuccino says:

    Not from Maryland. Travel there frequently. Some of those in the Baltimore/Pasadena area say “dowers”.

    As in: “That fuckin’ hooker with the big tramp stamp cost me 32 dowers!”

  48. B Moe says:

    Everybody is welcome to vote down here in the south, they have extended the season this year so everybody has a better chance of getting their limit.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0ksb0u7f38&e
    Get out early to beat the crowds! Vote early, vote often!

    As of Monday, more than 1 million voters, nearly a fifth of registered voters, already had voted in Georgia, according to Matt Carrothers, a spokesman for Georgia Secretary of State Karen Handel.
    http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/27/voting.wrap/

    We are on pace to exceed 100% turnout down here, YEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAW!

  49. Mark A. Flacy says:

    But also folks from retarded grouphomes. We were given instruction on how to deal with retarded grouphome workers who are gonna bring in the short buses and then – get this – help these guys and gals do their voting. You know, sit with them and point to stuff.

    Zounds. That reads a lot like the old facilitated communication BS that put some folks in jail for child molestation.

  50. Mark A. Flacy says:

    There’s supposed to be a link to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facilitated_communication in there.

  51. Dash Rendar says:

    “Dash, trade the gym in for the range. You’ll feel much better.”

    In there is a brilliant idea. Gym + Range in same place = ka-ching.

  52. The Way Lost Dog says:

    I don’t think any candidate for president who has scared the shit out of me before.

    Oh well. Evolution happens.

    Riots to the left of me – riots to the right of me…

  53. pdbuttons says:

    cognitive dissonance-ha!
    btw/on ur axe-ing for money-ill gladly send you some scratch but i dont send money over the internet/if u got a way to give me a contact point-ill send ya a check/thanks-and thanks 4 ur site-i love it

  54. cynn says:

    White people should not be allowed to vote because they would only shamefully vote for black people, and that would create a black hole.

  55. J. Peden says:

    Given the florid projection, it sounds almost like this Valania guy might not vote for Obama. So if he does, I’m going to need proof, heh.

  56. Andrew the Noisy says:

    Cleo, you so bad.

    I’m so impressed.

    Really.

  57. kellymo says:

    So, if (pleasenopleasenopleaseno) McCain loses, and the next Republican ticket was Palin/Steele, we’d have two inauthentic powerhungry warmongers on the ticket? ‘Cause, you know, that would freakin’ ROCK.

  58. B Moe says:

    Once again cleo proves there is no way to quantify the question, “just how stupid is cleo, anyway?”

  59. J. Peden says:

    Sounds like cleo has all the electrodes hooked up and just needs someone to pull the lever.

  60. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    J. Peden: Semen is stupid enough to play Russian Roulette with an automatic.

  61. Spiny Norman says:

    #60 SBP

    LMAO!

    Well played, sir!

  62. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Oh, hell… I can’t take credit for that one, Spiny. It’s been around for a while.

  63. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    It’s been around for a while.

    Here’s a Darwin Award winner who actually did it.

  64. MarkD says:

    No taxation without representation and I’m for it. The guy who will leave me alone isn’t running.

  65. J. Peden says:

    It’s been around for a while.

    I’d never heard it before. But when I saw “Russian Roulette”, I was automatically writing in “by herself”, another one that’s been around and fits pretty well, too.

  66. Techie says:

    The issue is that we sorta gotta let those people “Vote”, they still are American Citizens. (in reference to the challenged group homes)

  67. nikkolai says:

    Creepy leftwing fascists.

  68. ginsocal says:

    A couple of observations. First, this idiot completely ignores the recent history of the minority community. Since 1964, we have spent approximately 6 trillion (yes, with a “t”) dollars on Great Society programs. Even so, with four decades and trillions of dollars, they community is still, for the most part, unable to pull its collective head out of its collective ass. Yet, brainwave here thinks it’s white people who shouldn’t be allowed to vote. What a douche.

    Second, somewhat OT, what is it with all these billionaires giving huge wads of cash to the Redistributionist? I figure it’s one of two things: either they truly believe in what the Left is doing, and don’t mind giving away their money, or they figure they are buying “access,” in order to moderate the more insane aspects of the Democratic party platform. If that is the case, they are not getting their moneys worth.

Comments are closed.