Still early, but I figured I’d get out in front of this thing, so I spent the morning having my pens and pencils registered with the local writers’ unions. Interestingly, they all look the same after having paid their dues and purchased their obligatory buttons. But when we got back home, one of my mechanical pencils stopped writing midway through a sentence and demanded a 15-minute break and a separate lounge and employees area in my home office.
When I ignored it and tried to finish my sentence anyway, a Bic pen, dressed like Hugo Chavez, rolled from the table and plunged itself into my femoral artery.
Which raises the question: anybody know where I can get my hands on some Mexican daylaboring felt tips, preferably in blue or black…?
They’ll be hanging out in the Staples parking lot. Just pull up and shout the number you need, and they’ll climb in the back. Don’t make eye contact, freaks ’em out.
If you want cheap foreign labor, the dollar store is good. Mostly Chinese, a’course.
Are we gonna get rice steamers? ‘Cause I was just looking at ’em online, and I was wondering if I should hold out.
Enough of this whimsy and mirth, Jeff. JOE THE PLUMBER IS NOT LICENSED!!!
Priorities, man, priorities!!
I would think your immediate concern would be to stop the bleeding. Was there a Honduran T-shirt available to work as a tourniquet? I understand they work really cheap.
You mean Staples and Office Depot aren’t required to have designated areas for daylaboring writing instruments? Racists!!!!
Unlicensed plumbers will be dealt with accordingly very soon I think.
Question: if Baracky is elected and we disagree with his policies and actions while he’s president, are we STILL racists or will we be covered under the “Dissent is Patriotic” clause of the DNC playbook?
Somehow I think it’s the former, rather than the latter.
Yeah Joe ain’t even registered to vote either.
Jeff, keep an eye on the boy’s Crayolas. I have a bad feeling that attempts at “coloring” under the new regime may end badly.
My pens are all union, too. Antique fountains, Waterman and Esterbrook.
While I sleep, they draw WHITE LABOR seals on the bottom of every page I filled during the day.
There are things we don’t talk about.
“Which raises the question: anybody know where I can get my hands on some Mexican daylaboring felt tips, preferably in blue or black…?”
Better hurry Card Check is a coming.
INANIMATE REVOLUTION!!1!
My keyboard is non-union and I’m afraid it will be confis
And Jeff, for some added diversity in the Staples lot, go to the pink zone for some Flair Tips.
See, this is your problem with immigration Jeff. You’re letting the Mexican daylaboring felt tips do the jobs that the American pens should be doing. Just because they can’t do the job in any comptent manner or without bankrupting you doesn’t mean you should just give those jobs away to some Mexican daylaboring felt tips!
POWER TO TEH PENZILZ!!! Stop objectifying us!
Kresh. Patriotic dissent applies only if you’re a Democrat, dissenting against a Rethuglican. Or if you’re David Brooks, Kathleen Parker, William F. George (or was it George F. Will), or whoever they are we decide to call turncoats. But dissent against a Democrat? Treason.
The mechanical pencils got all uppity when they became refillable. They forgot from whence they came and the woods and disposables are calling inauthentic on their asses.
Keep them separated and find reasons to sharpen the woods several times a day and accidentally knock the disposables into the cat litter. The mechanicals will fall into line and you can bring all of the Mexican day Flairs on board with no further complications.
We never had this conversation.
anybody know where I can get my hands on some Mexican daylaboring felt tips, preferably in blue or black…?
I hope that your writing instruments aren’t going to do to you what the AFL-CIO has done to American industry. ‘Cuz, if so, your costs are gonna go waaaaaaay up…
No wonder you’re considering illegals…
UNIONIST!
Sorry to go OT on you guys but does anyone have a link to some crazy conspiracy Joe the plumber is related to Charles Keating and beats his wife? I just saw this gem of a comment and wanted to know where this idiocy started.
“Good. Tie another albatross to your neck, Johnny. Most Americans relate to a wife beating tax evader who lies about making $250K a year and who may be related to a convicted felon who worked for Charles Keating.”
http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/1008/Joe_not_a_licensed_plumber_McCains_enthusiasm_not_diminished.html
hammer and chisel-flinstone style
I know where you can get one that will work for cash if you are OK with working under the table.
Nothing fancy, common in fact, but with excellent flow and writes english.
If interested, look out in the street, it’s the one that has been run over only at the top, and will still work as it’s designed to.
You’d better knock it off with that journalist thing, Citizen.
>>I know where you can get one that will work for cash if you are OK with working under the table
FK those scabs!!1!
Start another arch rightwing blog and call it the Swingline Blog.
That’s all I got.
thor?
Don’t forget to pay your carbon tax.
See http://wattsupwiththat.com/ article “Obama to declare CO2 a pollutant”
Clean coal technology is being morphed to no coal technology.
They seemed to like that Trooper Wooten fellow just fine, Mr. Pink.
Scumbag update:
http://pawatercooler.com/?p=7645
Very true. Trooper Wooten is a stand up grade A American. This plumber must be destroyed at all cost. I guess they could only focus on Palin so long until Axlerod had to give them someone new to hate with a few well placed lies.
Mr. Pink,
Check this out
http://campaignspot.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ZDMxYjNmMzBiNDAyYWM0Y2JiZjdjZGVjNGZkNGVhNTM=
It clears up Joe’s license issue a bit, but doesn’t address the tax issue, if that bit is correct at all…
Probably just another smear, but do you think folks might start to wonder why all of O!s critics get to be publicly humiliated and have their reputations destroyed after they express any doubts about, or reluctance to vote for, the one?
Jus’ sayin’…
I find it very homoerotic that your pens dress up like Latin American dictators and then plunge themselves into your body.
I am thinking that this could be a very artsy short film starring David Bowie and an attractive gay French actor.
Still early, but I figured I’d get out in front of this thing, so I spent the morning having my pens and pencils registered with the local writers’ unions. ….
Don’t forget the typewriter. All typefaces will be matched to authors.
Which raises the question: anybody know where I can get my hands on some Mexican daylaboring felt tips, preferably in blue or black…?
No, but I’m sure a Der Spiegel editor might be willing to someday smuggle you an unregistered typewriter you can hide under your doorsill.
Today’s selection for our netflix queues: 2006’s Leben Der Anderen/Lives Of Others.
Psssst…
Hey buddy…
Crayons? Felt tips? I even have some of the classic ink pens with REAL nibs…
Kinda pricey, but you look like a man who understands that quality costs, am I right?…
Crike! For a second I read that as:
Which, in the context, sank me into a deep depression briefly, until I realized that they will never register mine until they pry it from my cold dead… oh, wait!
That ain’t no way to die, Mac.
I have some INDIA ink that’s looking for opportunity.
You’ll get pages and pages out of a bottle. You just won’t be able to understand any of what you wrote.
Non-union rules at work there, I think.
First registration, then confiscation. Just remember:
“When typewriters are outlawed only outlaws will have typewriters!”
…an attractive gay French actor.
Why all the redundancy, Lisa?
They’ll probably allow you to keep your antique manual typewriters, but I’m sure there will be a ban on your fully-electric assault typewriter, defined as any machine capable of typing over 10 words per minute..
And forget about high-speed laser printers. Death-ray technology on just anyone’s desktop? That’s just asking for trouble.
LOL B Moe.