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a progressive American vignette

Found this in the Sports section of Saturday’s Denver Post:

A 15-year-old Chicago high school sophomore was told to remover her replica Cubs jersey at school because the dean thought the last name on the back, Fukudome [a starting OF for the Cubs – ed], sounded too much like a profanity.

Ronny Cox, Andy Dick — and a million Asians with the last name Dong — could not be reached for comment.

So, to sum up how things work in progressive America: the word “terrorist” — used to describe a white terrorist — is racist. Against blacks. As is any mention of foreign contributions to the campaign of a black candidate.

— Whereas disallowing an actual Asian name belonging to an actual hometown player because that name sounds too much like a profanity? A sign of intellectual stewardship.

BECAUSE YES WE CAN!

67 Replies to “a progressive American vignette”

  1. urthshu says:

    Goldstein? Sounds kinda Jewish.

  2. dre says:

    Is Excitable Andy like the Peter Principle?

  3. dre says:

    “and a million Asians with the last name Dong ”

    You got something against Wang?

  4. Jeffersonian says:

    I’m starting a new internet rumor: Sarah Palin tried to ban books by these renowned authors:

    – Claude Balls
    – Peter Dragon
    – IP Freely
    – Willie Makeit
    – Betty Dont
    – Erasmus B. Black

  5. George Orwell says:

    My Newspeak, Eleventh Edition, will unwrite fullwise these thoughtcrimes. BHO! BHO! Ingsoc is victory.

  6. cjd says:

    I guess it’s a good thing I don’t wear my Miroslav Satan jersey anymore. Then again, THAT would probably be acceptable.

  7. Well in his defense, it does look a lot like profanity.

  8. dre says:

    This is why we need Jeff G. TV! PJTV so Tina Fey.

  9. dre says:

    “sounded too much like a profanity.”

    That was niggardly of them.

  10. Fat Man says:

    There are many Cub’s fans who think Fukudome is a curse.

  11. Darleen says:

    The first generation Cambodian-American clarinet player in my girls’ band:

    Dung Tram

    there was also the kid in their grade school – Vietnamese immigrant – and the secretary registering the boy gently suggested to the parents that he use the name “Nguyen Vu” instead of the one they wanted to register him under:

    Phuc Vu

  12. SteveG says:

    Did the dean make her write “I would vote for Obama if I were 18” ten times on the blackboard…. I’m sorry, I meant whiteboard

  13. I guess it’s a good thing the local bank managers wife didn’t go to school there. I kid you not, the womans name is Ophelia Dick. Her husband, the bank manager is Thomas Dick. They are both very respected in our community but the poor woman couldn’t even write her name on a check and donate money to that school I guess.

  14. N. O'Brain says:

    Did Tom Dick have a son named Harry?

  15. Jack Klompus says:

    Philadelphia Phillies pitching coach Rich Dubee must be causing conniptions among the Just Say No crowd.

  16. dre says:

    Yo Bros before Hoes doesn’t do it?

  17. Rich Cox says:

    No comment

  18. Dick Hertz says:

    No comment.

  19. SDN says:

    My mother went to high school with a girl whose last name was Hogg.

    First name Imogene. Known as Ima.

    Why yes, Your Honor, I do think the Lizzie Borden re-enactment was justifiable homicide.

  20. Pablo says:

    How about a Dick Trickle hat?

  21. dre says:

    Barack Hussein Obama

  22. comatus says:

    Ima Hogg (1882-1975) was a prominent Texas philanthropist and art collector. Youse can look it up.

    In the movies, Fukudome would show up to save the school team, which would forever after wear custom-embroidered “Chicago Dumb-Asses” jerseys. This must not have been a North Side school, huh.

    In tragically related news, Matsushita Electric is finally admitting that everybody knows it’s Panasonic, so I guess Hiro Panasonic will be qualifying for next year’s Indy 500. Y’wanna guess who brings the first competitive electric roadster?

  23. Anyone here know Amanda Kissinhug? I need Amanda Kissinhug!

  24. Warren Bonesteel says:

    So…am I still ok with “Bonesteel?”

    ‘Cause after three hundred years, gettin’ used to usin’ the original Teutonic spelling would be a pain after all these years.

    Of course, translating it and callin’ myself “The Green Lady’s Dagger” would be kind of fun…

  25. Iama Notlegal says:

    I’m sure you are welcome at Moe’s

  26. TmjUtah says:

    Looks like the school is exhibiting niggardly quantities of common sense here.

    What?

  27. Sean M. says:

    This guy could not be reached for comment.

  28. Swen Swenson says:

    The dean of the high school? How could you possibly be the dean of a high school and not be a pretentious twit? The poor guy is just living down to expectations.

  29. psycho... says:

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the Fukudome.

  30. Dick Hertz says:

    Mad Andi Sullivan in Beyond Fukudome: Two men enter, one man leaves.

  31. Roman says:

    I received an email from Ben Dover noting that Rosie Palms was looking for Long Duck Dong.

    Didn’t know what to make of it…

  32. Sean M. says:

    Better not bring any of the currency from your trip to Vietnam for show and tell.

  33. J. Peden says:

    Btw, my dear Dean, just what is wrong with Uranus?

  34. Mr B says:

    Saw a business card once for a guy named Harold Ainis. No lie.

    I don’t think he’s even been to Brazil.

  35. Republican on Acid says:

    Google executive: Soon we shall be able to load the trains with enemies of the state based on internet communication alone. It’s quite a good trend. We used to have to speculate on who was who. It’s going to be so easy and clean this time around.

    Ladkule12: LOL! ROFL! Bush sucks!

  36. thor says:

    Gross over-simplification, it’s what’s for brunch at Hooters.

  37. Pellegri says:

    @31: Yes.

  38. Cowboy says:

    If I were the dean of that high school (and God knows that is precisely my aspiration) I’d have made her change the T-shirt just ’cause it was a Cubs shirt.

    General principles, ya’ know.

  39. donald says:

    I used to do business with UPS with a guy named Richard Head, who did not want to be called dick under any circumstances, and did not think it was funny. He was a penis breath.

  40. alppuccino says:

    Obama has already picked his Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff:

    General Lee Fonda-Cox

    Racist and Homophobic. A double-threat guy.

  41. Since the Chicago schools fail so miserably at teaching math, science or raising graduation rates above 50%, They are free to focus on political correctness, wardrobe tips and attending political rallies to complain about the schools. That academic stuff is just too hard.

  42. sashal says:

    this dean is a life long republican

  43. Mr. Pink says:

    If that is true sashal do you think they will negate the criticism? Do you really think that people in here would say “Oh he is a Republican so it is ok.”?

  44. sashal says:

    yes I do believe we won’t see the top post addressing progressive vignette

  45. D Kite says:

    This is why uniforms end up being popular. The decisions we have to make every day. Must simplify so we can focus on the important.

    Short pants and funny hats. No names. Oh, and we have to walk funny.

    Derek

  46. ccs says:

    I dated a girl in college named Maura Dick.

  47. Bob Reed says:

    The principal must have been a white sox fan…

    But seriously, #42 is completely correct. In today’s publuc school system, not only do our kids get their social justice indoctrination straight up, but they also get a side dose of the individual teachers AFT and/or NEA approved morality; with the added benefit that they can also make medical pronouncements, psychological assessments such as ADD or ADHD, without actually having any medical training at all, outside of a few hours at a seminar…

    I mean, this stuff is more important than teaching our kids to read, write, and cypher anyway-right?

  48. McGehee says:

    @ #43: Which matters because there is not, nor has there ever been, such a thing as a progressive Republican.

    Right?

  49. Mr. Pink says:

    Does anyone have a link to this guys registration as a life long Republican or is this all just conjecture?

  50. sashal says:

    McGehee.
    i think jeff should start the crusade against the word” progressive” the stupidest description ever.
    Who is against progress ( are there anybody?), and why this should be a matter of political affiliation?

  51. Mr. Pink says:

    Well it is a progression toward European style socialism. If you ask most progressives they view European governments as much more “tolerant” and “fair” whatever the hell that means. Why you would want to emulate an entire continent that is falling behind globally in economics, technology, and whose militaries are obsolete and ineffective, is beyond me.

  52. J. Peden says:

    this dean is a life long republican

    Is it just a coincidence that I heard this exact postscript applied about 4 days ago at a dinner where, after describing the allegedly boorish behavior of a certain “rich” couple toward a dog – the couple actually either didn’t like dogs in their house, or else simply despised the politics of the particular “friend” owner of that dog – the Faux Liberal narrator threw in gratuitously and completely out of the blue, “They are life long Republicans”?

    I groaned silently and just let it pass, but could have really zinged her where it would have hurt with a simple one liner [as above] because it involved her father – that is, if I really wanted to throw a gigantic pale over the whole event.

    But, luckily, a local redneck guide and outfitter was also present. After a few minutes, he went on a rather involved commentary about Coyotes, in which he described their seemingly rational behavior, holding all of us who love nature and Canines enthralled. All of a sudden he concluded, ” And I don’t think they would vote for Obama”. Smack.

  53. U-238 says:

    In the 90’s I was sent home from school for wearing a LA Kings jersey. They said it was because it was too close to “gang colors.” Personally, I think the prinicpal was Oilers fan with issues.

  54. Carin says:

    Sashal – they need to call themselves progressives, because they know how unpopular it would be to call themselves socialists.

  55. J. Peden says:

    i think jeff should start the crusade against the word” progressive” the stupidest description ever.

    Right, I’m sure that’s what Jeff would like to do, especially when the word just happens to fit so well with the disease complex we know as Progressivism. Being fatal, it’s an excellent paradigm of being progressive.

  56. Kurt says:

    Of course, I’m sure those Che t-shirts are still allowed, if not actually encouraged…

  57. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by sashal on 10/6 @ 8:36 am #

    McGehee.
    i think jeff should start the crusade against the word” progressive” the stupidest description ever.”

    You’re right.

    The lunatic left should be referred to as reactionary.

    ‘Cause they are.

  58. MarkD says:

    Government educations are like government cheese. Filling, but not very good.

  59. […] “think of the children” trumps “ethnic diversity” in Chicago: A 15-year-old Chicago high school sophomore was told to remover her replica [Chicago […]

  60. SGT Ted says:

    Good thing she didn’t say the Principle was being niggardly.

  61. I saved a wedding announcement from the Huntsville Times mnay years ago for Swallows-Cox. I still have difficulty believing they printed it, or that the couple got beyond the first date without realizing what was coming.

  62. bigbooner says:

    I understood that Barney Frank’s best friend was a Hugh Janus.

  63. McGehee says:

    Seashell, I’m pretty sure Jeff agrees with you about the value of the label. And I’m pretty sure he’s well aware of the irony of its use by a bunch of left-wing reactionaries.

    Doesn’t change the fact your mention of this nitwit’s alleged party affiliation — link? — is completely off point.

  64. […] PROTEIN WISDOM: “So, to sum up how things work in progressive America: the word “terrorist” — used to […]

  65. potty humor! says:

    wow, kindergarten on the internets.

  66. Bill Ayers says:

    or that the couple got beyond the first date without realizing what was coming.

    Or, you know, realized that awful puns like that one were going to result.

Comments are closed.