oatmeal: “So, what’s that you’re eating there — Kashi? Nice. Maybe later, you can write me a poem, then go and have your mangina bikini waxed.
“You effete yuppie freak.”
Search
Archive Calendar
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 | |||||
Archives
Categories
- A Government That Can Force You to Buy Health Insurance Can Make You Do Anything (3)
- a protein wisdom philosophy primer (3)
- academics (25)
- armadillo (8)
- Friday Fiction 100 Word Challenge (51)
- from the protein wisdom conceptual series (136)
- identity politics (33)
- If Republicans Win the Senate in 2014 (1)
- in which celebraties comment on current events (67)
- language / intentionalism (88)
- legal (6)
- My brief conversations with inanimate objects (130)
- NSA / FISA (46)
- One Term to Serve, the 2012 Revival (6)
- Overheard in a Fallujah bunker (27)
- Poems from 196x, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brauti (27)
- protein wisdom's DNC coverage (30)
- protein wisdom's RNC coverage (29)
- protein wisdom: the movie Lists (20)
- Provocateurism (16)
- real-time empirical observations (51)
- red pills found behind the sofa cushions (42)
- Scenes from my driveway (61)
- Talking back to 80s music (41)
- The Martha Stewart Chronicles (58)
- The protein wisdom interviews (10)
- The protein wisdom original poems (142)
- Uncategorized (20,046)
- Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged (34)
Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Their frozen thingers rock though. They’re kind of expensive though. They made up this pretend natural grain stuff called Kashi® Pilaf that has a really great texture. I love that. Kashi® Pilaf. It’s the future.
Bold talk for a bowl of boiled oats.
for those new to Jeff’s, the term “Kashi” signifies “penis”
.
Not if they’re steel cut.
I think that conceptually you’re very accurate with regards to the attitude of oatmeal towards other foods, and cereals in particular. On the other hand, I think that oatmeal’s control of English (and the American idiom in particular), is less native than you represent. In fact, almost every oatmeal I’ve ever been conversed with has sounded something like George Handlery.
for those new to Jeff’s, the term “Kashi†signifies “penisâ€Â
I’ve been eating Go Lean Crunch™ penis?
I dunno those black bean thingers, but is Kashi really yuppie now? ‘Cause I keep seeing George Costanza’s parents.
Maybe not yuppie, but I remember buying the cereal with the lesbians on the box cause I never bought lesbian cereal before and I thought it would be fun. It was very oaty. Now mostly I just get Trader Joe’s brand cause it’s cheaper and for real, there’s only two bowls in a box of this stuff.
I have kinda large bowls.
sour raisins.
Wow. The oatmeal just went from “yuppie freak” to “effete yuppie freak.” The oatmeal is on the muscle today.
Hahaha, hf. Those aren’t lesbians: that’s Snap, Crackle and Pop.
It’s the apples and spice kind.
SAUCY!
You’re attacking Quakers now? I denounce cornflakes!
For real this is the gayest new product this year I think. The stylishly designed bottles each have little numbers so you can gauge their “chill factor” and get the metromint that’s right for you. They have a blog where you can learn that they are really committed to living the metromint lifestyle for real.
oh. No these ones were for real lesbians, I’m sure. Also they had great teeth.
Whenever my oatmeal gives me any lip, I just start calling it “raw material for Cheerios®.”
Shuts it right up.
Oh, God. Not . . . miscegenist cereal.
Oh, those Lesbigrahams!
Oh, those Lesbigrahams!
Yep. Lesbians, hf. Plus they look good in
milf, sorry, I mean milk. But honestly, who doesn’t?runner-up gayest product this year I think. It’s from Brazil. Whole Foods is pretty enthusiastic about it, last time I was there. It’s sort of carving out its own niche I think. All of Katie’s days are good is the important thing.
Katie Couric’s Oatbook.
Call it buckwheat instead.
Buckwheat makes you think of Jim Bowie, John Wayne, Davy Crockett, and that kid on Our Gang.
All of whom could beat that pacifist Quaker’s ass in a New York minute.
hf pulls of a cunning stunt, without a spoon.
Presumably all honey, no nuts.
What’s kind of kooky is that the lesbians look so very wholesome for real. I had never thought about lesbians in terms of their wholesome natural goodness. Sometimes marketing is just really insightful like that.
No nuts? Yo Jackson!
If fucking oatmeal could talk it would be spending this night up in its room, alone, with no television.
All the lesbians I know take really good care of themselves, hf. They exercise a lot and eat organic. If I was forced to go cannibal I’d ask for a grilled lesbian salad.
dre,
C’mon, I was referring to the lesbian cereal.
wasn’t that oatmeal a marine on Gen Kill last night?
I mean, with all the bleating about 20 yr old hard-ass killers actually saying a naughty non-PC word or 2?
bucking fush
Now we finally find out why you call yourself Salt Lick!
Oatmeal needs salt, too.
Also rice.
However, if all the rice runs away from the salt, perhaps it’s been left in the cupboard too long.
I learned that cooking tip from Flushed Away.
Wax a mangina? I thought the proper way to depilate that thing was to use a blowtorch. Now it doesn’t sound so bad, actually. Just don’t shave one of them Hitler thingies first or some German guy will rip off the head, and that’s got to hurt like a materfucher!
Oh, pay no attention to him, the old horse-feed fraud.
There’s a whole lot of wrong with a person who chooses his breakfast cereal because of the political/moral/identity group statement he believes it makes about him.
The fact that the people who do that are usually those that deplore the consumerist activities of others makes it funny.
Funny in the ‘ha-ha’ sense.
I had a panic last week. Ukrops decided to stop carrying Quaker Oat Bran, a main staple of my diet. I bought all the oatbran so it’s not like it didn’t sell.
The grocer pointed me to a bag of Bob’s oat bran and it had bugs legs in it visible through the cellophane.
So I ordered a case of Quakers off of Amazon. And some of those Venus razors.
Mm and it does need just a pinch of salt. It’s delicious, like Triscuit gruel.
To shave the legs of the bugs?
Summer, short shorts; oat-bugs have the hairy legs.
It’s a scot thing, I guess.
Kashi bugs? Smooth like a brazilian swim champ.
Mmmmm, smooth trim female legs in shorts. Summer has its good points and then some.
Those two have a set of chompers that would put the fear of god in any sassy back-talking oatmeal.
You wouldn’t see the bug legs if those damn Scottish bugs wore pants like real… er, bugs.
(There’s a reason my ancestor came to America.)
How ironic, I had oatmeal for breakfast this morning. No talking back allowed!
What do you call a quaker woman that has sex twice a year? A nymphomaniac. I think it has something to do with the oats.